After a foundation is laid, you will need to add a strong structure to fortify their growth.
Enjoy the bi-weekly articles below.
These sections are organized by age level, but the information is not restricted to that age group. Consider looking at other age ranges as well. Also, make sure to check out the Archives.
Enjoy the bi-weekly articles below.
These sections are organized by age level, but the information is not restricted to that age group. Consider looking at other age ranges as well. Also, make sure to check out the Archives.
Teach Patience to Keep Peace
Teaching children patience at this age is to teach them self control. They can control their emotions and feelings by themselves. When they are angry, upset or tired, they can be obnoxious. The first thing you must do is calm them down. Have them take deep breaths and count to ten. You must get them to be calm or they will think that by throwing a tantrum or whining, they can get what they want. They will become manipulative, and using you in this way will become a habit.
When they are calm, restate what you think their problem is. If more than one child is involved, ask each one (without the other interrupting) to tell you their version. By just giving each child time, your children may figure out a way to settle their own problems. Do not tell them how you think they should settle their differences; they probably won't do what you suggest anyway. They must learn to solve their own problems. (See below for more details.)
Children must also learn to wait for things that matter. They must learn to wait their turn to reinforce the need to be courteous and patient. Patience is needed to delay immediate gratification.
Help Your Children Learn Conflict Resolution
Parents, are you tired of your children’s constant arguments and fighting? Are you tired being in the middle of your children’s disagreements? Then, it is time for you to help your children learn how to handle their own problems. You will need to work with them—maybe one step at a time, but with patience and perseverance, you and your children can learn ways to settle differences to everyone’s satisfaction. You CAN have a peaceful home.
We must teach our children how to resolve their differences with others so their life will be fulfilling and harmonious. education.gov.gy
This quote is from the nation of Guyana in Africa which shows that this problem is universal. It must be worthwhile to take the time to teach children “conflict resolution” for their own good and that of their future.
Steps suggested by the above website include identifying the problem and taking time to calm everyone down through strategies such as controlling breathing, tense and relaxing muscles, and giving each one time to think. You may even have thought of other ways to calm your children down. Punishment does not work.
Interestingly, your posture has something to do with how you negotiate with your children. If you stand above them, you take power from your children. Sit down in a low chair or on the floor, kneel or squat down so you are on the same level as your children.
It is important that you give each child time to explain the conflict without any interruptions. Here, you need to be the mediator. Each child should have the time to explain their feelings-- ”I feel … when...” Again, no one may interrupt while each child explains their feelings.
Then, you can explain in your own words what you think the problem is. In this way, you show your understanding. Ask for ideas to solve their problem, but you do not give your opinion. Your children probably would not accept your ideas anyway. Let your children figure out or suggest what might work. Talk with them about the conflict and how it happened and how they think it can be fixed. Talk about whether it is a “little deal or a big deal.” Is it something that must be settled right now, or can it wait? You might even caution your children that they may not say anything hurtful to the other person. One of the ways you can help your children practice this action might be to say those things to themselves in front of a mirror and watch their own facial expression. This may give them a clue to another’s feelings.
Lastly, take action. Ideally, a win-win situation where both are satisfied is the best, but maybe one of the children needs to walk away. You may need to stay to smooth the bumps, but you have helped your children learn kindness rather than just satisfying their own needs and desires.
Peace is not absence of conflict; it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means. Ronald Reagan
Teaching children patience at this age is to teach them self control. They can control their emotions and feelings by themselves. When they are angry, upset or tired, they can be obnoxious. The first thing you must do is calm them down. Have them take deep breaths and count to ten. You must get them to be calm or they will think that by throwing a tantrum or whining, they can get what they want. They will become manipulative, and using you in this way will become a habit.
When they are calm, restate what you think their problem is. If more than one child is involved, ask each one (without the other interrupting) to tell you their version. By just giving each child time, your children may figure out a way to settle their own problems. Do not tell them how you think they should settle their differences; they probably won't do what you suggest anyway. They must learn to solve their own problems. (See below for more details.)
Children must also learn to wait for things that matter. They must learn to wait their turn to reinforce the need to be courteous and patient. Patience is needed to delay immediate gratification.
Help Your Children Learn Conflict Resolution
Parents, are you tired of your children’s constant arguments and fighting? Are you tired being in the middle of your children’s disagreements? Then, it is time for you to help your children learn how to handle their own problems. You will need to work with them—maybe one step at a time, but with patience and perseverance, you and your children can learn ways to settle differences to everyone’s satisfaction. You CAN have a peaceful home.
We must teach our children how to resolve their differences with others so their life will be fulfilling and harmonious. education.gov.gy
This quote is from the nation of Guyana in Africa which shows that this problem is universal. It must be worthwhile to take the time to teach children “conflict resolution” for their own good and that of their future.
Steps suggested by the above website include identifying the problem and taking time to calm everyone down through strategies such as controlling breathing, tense and relaxing muscles, and giving each one time to think. You may even have thought of other ways to calm your children down. Punishment does not work.
Interestingly, your posture has something to do with how you negotiate with your children. If you stand above them, you take power from your children. Sit down in a low chair or on the floor, kneel or squat down so you are on the same level as your children.
It is important that you give each child time to explain the conflict without any interruptions. Here, you need to be the mediator. Each child should have the time to explain their feelings-- ”I feel … when...” Again, no one may interrupt while each child explains their feelings.
Then, you can explain in your own words what you think the problem is. In this way, you show your understanding. Ask for ideas to solve their problem, but you do not give your opinion. Your children probably would not accept your ideas anyway. Let your children figure out or suggest what might work. Talk with them about the conflict and how it happened and how they think it can be fixed. Talk about whether it is a “little deal or a big deal.” Is it something that must be settled right now, or can it wait? You might even caution your children that they may not say anything hurtful to the other person. One of the ways you can help your children practice this action might be to say those things to themselves in front of a mirror and watch their own facial expression. This may give them a clue to another’s feelings.
Lastly, take action. Ideally, a win-win situation where both are satisfied is the best, but maybe one of the children needs to walk away. You may need to stay to smooth the bumps, but you have helped your children learn kindness rather than just satisfying their own needs and desires.
Peace is not absence of conflict; it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means. Ronald Reagan