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REINFORCE

Learning comes with challenges, use your tools to help (approximate ages 10-12).
At times there may be weakness in the structure, and here you will find the tools to solidify learning.
Articles are updated frequently.
These sections  are organized by age level, but the information 
is not confined to just this age. Consider looking at other age ranges as well. Also, make sure to check out the Archives.
Parents Need to Teach Right and Wrong 
          Knowing good moral values such as kindness, humility, courage, and compassion at an early age builds a child’s character.                           ofhsoupkitchen.org 
     Parents must exercise their essential role in the lives and rearing of their children. Children need to be held accountable for their actions. They learn to be so through the actions and example of  their parents. If parents do not want their children to learn right from wrong by watching TV shows, cartoons, and online videos that might be inappropriate for their age, then parents must teach their children some moral lessons.  
     Children in Australia made headlines by stealing their parents' car and then stealing gas as they drove across the continent. Children have walked into a 7-11 store and thought  nothing of taking candy or snacks. Young people take money from their mother’s purse without asking. Could these be your children? When these children do something wrong, no one bothers to correct them; young people think it is ok to do it again. These kinds of actions might someday send them to prison. 
     Parents teach by showing their children the right way and praising them when they do good. By setting clear and consistent rules, listening and paying attention to their children, parents show they are interested enough in their children to teach them.  Parents find ways to redirect their children’s bad manners or actions. Physical punishment or verbal abuse will only make things worse and cause resentment. 
     Parents teach by example. When you do something wrong, like forget to pay for something you put into your purse before checking out at the grocery store, admit it was something you did wrong. Discuss this with your children so that they do not pick up a candy bar and walk out of the store with it, thinking since you did something like that, it must be alright. Children need models to be honest, patient, concerned and have respect for others and the things that belong to others. Parents need to help teens be aware of the dangers of using drugs, alcohol, and tobacco. Parental example is especially important here.   
      Pre-teen children know right from wrong, can make good choices, know family expectations and reasonable consequences. They understand privileges and can take responsibility for their actions.  
      Parents give their
ir children a strong moral compass so that they stand up for what is just and right. If children feel good about themselves, they will be ready to resist negative peer pressure and help them cope with difficult situations. 
          At the end of the day, it’s our responsibility to make sure that our children become productive members of society.  There’s no better                time than today to mold them into reliable and responsible adults.  Judy Ponio 

Meeting Your Children's Needs 
      Children need you to also pay attention to their emotional needs. Maybe you disregard your children’s pleas for help, thinking their pleas are childish or temporary. Maybe you think your children are too temperamental, taking small things too seriously and making them into giant things. Maybe you think your children are just impossible to understand. 
     If you neglect your children’s emotional needs, your child may take failure too seriously and be devastated by defeat. They may have a tough time trusting people if they see parents as deceitful or manipulative. If your children see you neglecting your own mental and self-care, they may become vulnerable to more stress and anxiety. If your children receive no love or support from you as parent, they may lack confidence or become too self-critical, especially if you expect perfection or are pushing them too hard. If you blame your children for things they do wrong or see everything they do as wrong, your children become guilt–ridden and apologetic. They may be baffled by the consequences you apply if you are inconsistent in your discipline.  
          An unpredictable parent is a fearsome god in the eyes of a child. Susan Forward 
     Children soak up both verbal and nonverbal messages like a sponge. They listen to you, watch you and imitate you. Your actions are patterns of behavior that may negatively shape your children’s lives. They also want to be more like their older siblings. So, allowing humor that belittles each other can be extremely damaging in a family. Children take sarcasm and humorous exaggeration at face value. Making jokes at someone else’s expense whether from a parent or another sibling can be damaging. Children believe and internalize what parents and siblings say about them.  
     You may be neglecting or ignoring your children without even realizing it, by simply not listening to them. Put your phone down and make eye contact. Try not to downplay your children’s concerns. Be patient and present showing your children you really care about what they have to say and that their feelings and words are important to you. 
            If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money. Abigail Van Buren 
     Some children feel severely neglected because their parents are just too busy or more concerned with their own needs to pay attention to them. Parents fail to see the progress their children are making in school or sports. They see their children’s mistakes as failures and reflections on them rather than learning opportunities. They embarrass their children by their own behavior.  
     Be the people in your children’s lives who lift them up and give them support whenever they need it. Be the genuinely caring parents your children love. 

Teach Your Children About Boundaries 
       When we think of boundaries, we often think parents are the ones telling their children how far children can go with their behavior. Parents set boundaries like fences that tell their children when it is “enough” and what the consequences will be. 
       Children also need boundaries over their own personal lives to protect themselves from unwanted advances, to protect their own space, emotions and thoughts, feelings, stuff or possessions, time, energy and values. They need to learn to set boundaries and to honor the boundaries of others. They need to learn to take charge of their own lives and set clear rules for family, siblings, friends and classmates. Setting healthy rules for navigating relationships helps your children have better self-esteem, conserve their emotional energy (the ability to advocate for themselves), and have more independence giving them space to grow and accept failure and make mistakes. 
       Help your children know they have rights to their own thoughts and possessions. They can have choices to show their own level of comfort.  Her sister cannot borrow her clothes if it upsets your daughter.  Her brother cannot take her soccer ball without asking. No one can read her diary or journal because it contains her own thoughts and feelings. 
                If someone throws a fit because you set boundaries, it’s just more evidence the boundary is needed.  Unknown 
       Your children have these basic rights according to Judith Belmont: say NO without feeling guilty, be treated with respect, realize their needs are as important as others, accept their own mistakes and failures, and not meet unreasonable expectations. 
       How can you teach your children to set and honor boundaries?  Jennifer Chesak on the healthline website suggests your children learn to be assertive, not aggressive.  Firmly, tell her sister that certain clothes are not hers to borrow and her brother can only have the soccer ball if he asks or if your daughter is not using it. She can use the “i” statement:  I feel _______ when you ___because _____. She lets her siblings know what makes her upset or uncomfortable in a kind way.  She may need to enlist your support or help to set this boundary if her siblings challenge her too much. 
       Teach your children to watch for cues when honoring other’s boundaries. Do her siblings or friends avoid eye contact, turn away, back up, limit their conversation, nod excessively or answer in a higher pitched voice than necessary?  Do they laugh, talk too fast or with their hands?  Do they fold their arms or stiffen their posture?  Maybe she is crossing other’s boundaries.   
       Boundaries clue you and your children into behavior that might be harmful, uncomfortable, or unsafe and could be a “red flag” to abuse or other problems. Schedule a family meeting to talk about boundaries and discuss each other's boundaries and how important it is to respect those set by each family member.  Even parents have the right to privacy when they post a “Do Not Disturb” sign on their doorknob. 

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SUPPORTING SUPER STUDENTS
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