Archive

Note: These sections are organized by age level, but the information is not confined to these ages. Consider looking for needed information at other age ranges as well.

Foundation Archive (ages 3-8)

Structure Archive (ages 8-10)

Reinforce Archive (ages 10-12)

Remodel Archive (ages 13+)

FOUNDATION ARCHIVE (ages 3-8)

Boundaries Are Necessary Even for Young Children
Trying to raise a responsible, cooperative child without age-appropriate boundaries is like trying to raise a goldfish outside its fishbowl. Marianne Neifert, M.D.
Very young children can be taught that there are certain behaviors that are ok, while others are not. Clear directions about where and when to eat meals, bedtime on weekdays, picking up belongings and playing with an iPad are some of the most difficult to enforce, but also the most necessary. Children have a sense of belonging if you care enough to guide their behavior.
Rules are essential for children to grow. They need to understand what is expected of them and what will happen if they don't do what is expected of them. They need to know consequences will be enforced consistently. Some rules are just basic good manners; some are for their safety; some are for order and smooth operation of families. Clear rules also reduce power struggles and lesson friction between siblings and classmates when children know what behavior is expected of them.
Children will test, but if parents, grandparents and kid caregivers know the rules for children as well as having the children know, all can be on board to carry out the rules. All adults must be consistent in expectations. You as parents need to know your own values and principles to guide your children and so that other adults can recognize and understand your reasons for rules.
Try not to confuse your children by saying something is wrong one day and not the next. Adults must be consistent in their expectations of children but must also be flexible. If you see your children following the rules daily and a special occasion or opportunity comes up, allow your children the chance to show their responsibility and trustworthiness and relax the rules for them to do so.
There are several websites to help you establish good rules, such as Debbie Pinkus at https://www.empoweringparents.com, Marianne Neifert at https://parenting.com, and Mark Merrill at https://allprodad.com (10 ways to establish clear boundaries for children) are some I have found to be the most helpful. Allprodad.com is especially beneficial for dads.

Conversation with Children
Do you talk with your children? Do you have conversations with each of your children? Conversation means talking between two or more people in which views, news and ideas  are exchanged.
Learning how to have conversations is important for children’s development, relationships, and wellbeing. It helps children make friends, ask for what they need, develop strong relationships, get attention the right way, take turns talking and listening, using eye contact, speaking politely, and knowing when to stop talking. Children learn how to begin a conversation, join a conversation, maintain it, and end it by talking with you, their parents. They learn by watching your conversation with others and from you, especially if you put your phone down and give your children your full attention.
You help your children learn to wait, be patient and say “excuse me” if interrupting your conversation with others. If their interruption is necessary due to something dangerous or urgent, they can learn to touch your arm and by placing your hand over theirs, they learn to know you have heard them and understand.
You can manage their talking back by responding calmly and reminding them of “family rules.” This may take time and practice and many prompts, reminders, and guidance. Be patient. If their rudeness persists, practice another way, or give consequences, such as losing a privilege or screen time. Do not laugh or give so much attention that it encourages more rude behavior.
Ask questions that require more than a one-word answer. Ask questions that encourage lots of ideas and opinions and what interests your children. Use “I wonder...where can we find out ...tell me more.”
You can help your children develop self-regulation—the ability to understand and manage their own behavior and reactions. As you develop conversation skills with your children, you learn their temperament. You might have a social child who wants to talk all the time or a shy child who listens but finds it hard to respond. If your children feel things strongly, they find it harder to self-regulate. It is easier for a child who is easy going to do so, but if children can learn to self-regulate, they will be able to control strong emotions, focus, control their impulses, make friends, and become independent sooner.
Amy Morin, LCSW on the website verywellfamily.com gives “42 Conversation Starters for Kids.” There are other websites (and YouTube) if you need help to initiate conversation with your children.

Teach Your Children to Type
  It is helpful to get good typing habits early so that when students get computer assignments to do at home, they are ready. Hannah Ogahara
Children should learn to type when their hands are big enough to fit comfortably on a standard keyboard—sometime about their 6th or 7th year—when they know their letters and how to read and spell. They will develop the bad habit of “hunt and peck” unless parents help them to learn to “touch type.” Touch typing is using all their fingers on a keyboard without looking at the keys. They look at the screen in front of them. A real keyboard is the best for children to practice on, and they should practice often. They need to start their finger movement from “home keys.” They should place their left-hand fingers on the a,s,d,f keys and their right-hand fingers on the j, k, l, ; . Their fingers can then reach the other letters from this home position. Help your children explore the letters and symbols that each hand can reach. Even holding their hands and fingers in these positions takes practice. Practice, practice, practice—on weekends, school breaks, when your children are bored with other activities, when the weather is not good to be outdoors.

Typing properly is a valuable skill that your children will use the rest of their lives, especially in this computer world. As a teacher, they will use it to type their lesson plans; as a doctor or medical person they will type prescriptions and orders to help people feel better; they will even use this skill if they are a machinist or mechanic to order parts. They may even use this skill as I do, writing words to help you be “Smarter Parents for Smarter Kids.” Be sure your children master their proper hand and finger placement before they play games.
...A good keyboard is invaluable when you spend a lot of time typing. Markus Persson
There are several programs to help you teach your children. For those beginning to type,  DanceMatTyping is good. It uses a color-coded keyboard with animation and narration. It has twelve levels, each ending with a song and is free.
TypingInstructor can also be used with children as young as six. It has a feature that sounds when your children hit the incorrect key. This program teaches correct finger positions using virtual hands.
ABCya has free keyboarding games for children just beginning to type. It is free to try but $6.99 per month for all games.
TypingClub is free, but since the letters are small, it might work better with older children. It is for learning the basics and is in fourteen languages. It uses random words, letters in educational lessons, and has video, games, and feedback.
Typing.com helps children practice problem keys and advises how students can improve. The basic version is free.
Learning to type may be difficult, but it might be one of your children’s most valuable tools.

Plan Now to Grow SEL
With the beginning of school so near, you will hear about SEL. Social Emotional Learning is how you and your children live your lives. It is how “children learn what they live,” according to Dorothy Law Nolte. It is the abilities you give your children before they even go to school about how to live their lives in our world.
It is how you teach your children to behave with other children and adults. First, they need to be aware of themselves as human beings. This usually happens around the age of three years old. They learn to understand their physical characteristics. Remember “Show me your nose, hair, ears...?” They recognize their emotions and how to use them--sadness, hurt, happiness, anger, and love. They need to learn how to regulate and control emotions which is something you as parents model and teach. They should care for their toys by playing with them carefully and safely, not throwing or breaking them. Show them how to share with joy and not anger, and how to take turns on the swings at the park. Help them say “please” when they want something and “thank you” when they receive it. Parents teach manners that children will use in school and all their lives.
By allowing your young children to interact with others, you teach them social awareness--how to emphasize or feel emotions with others, how to treat others fairly, who to turn to when they need help or advice, who they can trust.
You model how to make connections with others, how to listen and wait their turn to talk, not to interrupt when grownups are talking. You help them know appropriate and inappropriate behavior when they are with others, such as at a friend’s house or in a restaurant. You can teach them to be respectful of others and their culture, color, possessions, and feelings.
You can get ideas for how to teach your children these things by reading books. Big Feelings by Alexander Penfold gives strategies for expressing their emotions properly. My Monster and Me by Nadiya Hussain helps them to control their worries. I Can’t Do That – Yet by Esther Pia Cordova gives them confidence that eventually they will be able to do things they see others do. Ask your librarian for other books or videos.
There are more ideas you can try at www.k12.wa.us/social and emotional learning for families. On www.positiveaction.net, you will find 37 Social-Emotional Activities and Games for Teachers and Students which gives ideas by ages that can also be used by families.
A stable and nurturing childhood is essential for the healthy psycho-emotional and spiritual development of a human being. Provide children with the ability to live a happy, fulfilling, and positive life.

Plan for Arithmeticians
Have you been teaching your younger children to count everything—pennies, Legos, cars, apples, cheerios, cookies? Are your older children adding and subtracting in their heads?
    By all means, give great attention to your arithmetic, as its advantages are so many and important. Dorothea Dix
Arithmetic is the branch of mathematics dealing with the properties and manipulation of numbers. Mathematics is the study of the relationships among numbers, shapes, and quantities; it is the science of numbers that includes arithmetic, algebra, calculus, geometry, and trigonometry.
Arithmetic is to mathematics as spelling is to writing. Without arithmetic, the other branches of mathematics would be impossible. It is necessary for your children to know basic arithmetic. They need to know how to count, add, subtract and multiply. These facts need to be memorized and used daily. Dance them, sing them, clap them, stamp them, do anything you can to help your children remember the basic arithmetic facts.
  Arithmetic is where the answer is always right and everything is nice...or the answer is wrong and you have to start over and try again and see how it comes out this time. Carl Sandberg
It might seem easier for your children to solve problems using a calculator, but  www.mathmedia.com shares this story. A man became a successful businessperson because he could think on his feet. He could perform complex arithmetic in his head faster than anyone else. He had unique ways of thinking and problem-solving, even in his dealings with foreign markets. Because of this ability, he now owns 31 stores and has 400 employees because he was not dependent on a calculator.
Keeping arithmetic facts in their heads is good for your children’s brains. In the future, they will need basic math skills and values in order to live fully and productively. They will need to use what they have already learned to solve problems in new and unfamiliar situations. They will need to question, analyze, translate, and illustrate results. They will need to know arithmetic for place value and scientific notation and will need to know how to communicate these ideas to others. Your children will need to use basic math to recognize patterns and judgments as valid. They need practice applying arithmetic to everyday situations.
Mental arithmetic allows your children to make estimations of the reasonableness of an answer. If they can visualize the length and area of a garden in yards rather than feet, they can figure out if you have enough room for a garden. A knowledge of simple planes enables your children to visualize and plan the space necessary.
  The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings. Eric Hoffer

Rhythm and Rhyme for Learning Time
    Life is about rhythm. We vibrate, our hearts are pumping blood, we are a rhythm machine, that’s what we are. Mickey Hart
Preborn infants hear the rhythm of their mother’s heartbeat. Human infants are sensitive to speech rhythm early in their development. Newborn infants react to the rhythm of adult speech. 3–4-month-old babies move limbs and smile in response to rhymical dance music. Parents enjoy watching toddlers moving and smiling listening to music. Rhythmic sounds are fundamental for communication and social interaction through a child’s development. Rhythm is essential to the understanding of speech. Spoken language is governed by rhythm. Many languages have a regular rhythm, but English is a mixture of stressed and unstressed syllables giving it rhythm.
Children learning through rhythm, often by a method of repetition, is key to all languages. Reciting nursery rhymes with your children helps them to hear ad enjoy the rhythm of language. Nursery rhymes, like Jack and Jill, Little Bo Peep, and the Three Little Kittens, for example, give a foundation for language learning, reading, and listening comprehension.
Rhymes are a literary device in which identical or similar concluding syllables in different words are repeated. Rhymes are fun when used in everyday speech. They are used to appeal to a sense of rhythm in language and to create memorable expressions. Such sayings as “See you later, alligator!” or “Shop ‘til you drop.” are heard often. You might have a “fender bender” or “double trouble.” You might be lucky enough to have a “study buddy” or a “true blue” friend.
Parents can train their children’s ears to accent and rhythm. Clapping, singing, drawing, and dancing help children to find their natural rhythm. Rhythm is innate in every human being. Adults just need to be creative in helping children find theirs. Using different voices and inflection may delight your children and get them to see your using rhythm to get and keep their attention.
     Enjoy the rhythm and rhyme of language with your children to help them learn.

Look Up, Look Around
Seeing things around us is more than just glancing. Children need to be helped to observe, to see unexpected things that might stimulate curiosity and lead to new thoughts, ideas and even questions. Children learn from birth through everyday play and exploration in a safe and stimulating environment. Babies watch your facial expressions and try to imitate them. Young children learn through observing you as you go about your daily activities and experimenting to see if they can do what you do. Observe your children as they play to learn even more about yourself.
All ideas come through some sort of observation. It sparks an attitude; some object or emotion causes a reaction in the other person. Graham Chapman
Unless caring adults help children to see things around them, to move their eyes, the children could end up with brain-related vision problems such as not moving or tracking correctly with their eyes, not seeing things in the space around them, and recognizing dangers accurately and quickly. Parents need to help younger children pay attention because if children are interrupted, they may not remember. If you teach them to observe, you help them to focus and recall.
By observing where they live, children learn their place in the neighborhood, their city, state, and country. Children are not aware of their place in this world unless parents help them to know. They can learn the time of the year, the seasons, festivities, and holidays if you help them to observe how those in your community celebrate these events.
The website lifehack.org/794671/observational-learning has ideas for all ages about how to use observation to benefit every stage in life. Parents can guide their children to develop curiosity and the desire to learn more by paying close attention to what they observe. Having a playful attitude as children grow brings joy to exploring and learning.
“Observation, more than books and experience, more than persons, is the prime educator,” according to Amos Bronson Alcott. Help your children to be “super observers."

Counting Pennies
Watch the pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves. Benjamin Franklin
What a fun way to teach children about money! In our spare change jar, there are probably more pennies than any other coin. We seem to always have pennies and it is a great place to begin to teach small children about money. Children counting pennies are beginning to learn about money.
When children are able to understand that money buys things, you may give them coins to buy their favorite cereal or fruit at the grocery store and actually give the cashier the money for their purchase. Another lesson may be that they do not need to buy something every time they go into a store. Sometimes, your family’s needs are more important than what your children want.
Children learn about money by watching how their parents use money. If they see parents using cash to buy things in the grocery store, they learn that the money or coins they can now identify are useful for getting things. Children as young as three can see money as a way to get the things they want. At this age, children can have their own money as parents or grandparents give them money to put into a clear glass jar. As the children grow, they can use three jars in which to put their money and parents can teach them to save, spend and share as they decide where to put their money.
Parents can teach children to wait patiently. Something you may do is give them one nickel, but if they wait for a time, you will give them two. Teach them to wait to buy things.
The website--parents.com/kids/responsibility/money-management/money-milestones-for-kids-an-age-by-age-guide/ is a great way to help you know the right age to begin to teach your children about money. There are many other sources on the internet to help you also.
Money is necessary and useful, and what you teach your children about it will determine their using it wisely in the future.

Impulse Control
Social and emotional skills parents/caregivers are expected to teach at home include the following: self and impulse control, expressing their feelings with words, being able to listen and pay attention, asking for help when needed, being aware of other people’s feelings and having pride in their accomplishments, (www.danvilleschools.net)    Impulse control is one of the skills with which we can help our children. Children cannot be aggressive toward others, destroy others property, or be mean to their animals. They cannot be allowed to act compulsively. Children must get enough sleep which may be the reason for their out-of-control behavior. If parents notice that there are certain situations or actions that trigger undesirable reactions, they should also help their children’s teachers be aware and seek professional help from teachers, school counselors, or family doctors if necessary. Helping children control their emotions and impulses demands parent and caregiver direction and time. Books which may help are Angry Octopus by Lori Lite (strategies and methods), The Secret to Clara’s Calm by Tamara Levitt (handle anger through meditation) or The Way I Feel by Janan Cain (words to express their feelings.)
  “Act Early” is the message from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention. Their website--www.cdc.gov/actearly/pf/checklists/Checklists-with-Tips_Reader_508.pdf--provides the expected behavior and accomplishments for children from birth through 5 years of age. Their suggestions for what parents can do at each of these stages of development are especially valuable.
Children need balance in their lives which parents and caregivers can give. Creating routines, providing the right amount of nourishment in the form of fruits and vegetables with fewer calorie-rich snacks, limiting the amount of time children are on screen, providing time for physical activity, enough sleep, and family time at meals and conversations are needed for children to grow successfully.
  You are always responsible for how you act, no matter how you feel.  Anonymous

An Easier Way to Teach Literacy
Reading poetry is one of the easiest ways to interest children in learning. Poetry for children captures the essence of childhood: the fun, the laughter, the hope and the inquisitive nature of exploring their world. Exposing childen to poetry early is a great way to build reading skills and a love for poetry. Children will learn new words, practice reading aloud with expression, and be exposed to rhymes. Children's poetry makes reading fun which may ignite a passion for the spoken and written word (familyfriendpoems).
Reading poetry has many benefits. It creates enthusiasm for reading and is used to work on reading skills, such as rhyming, letters and their sounds, syllables, even parts of speech. Poems are versatile. You can find poems about almost any subject you can think of--any season, any special day, any subject your children need to learn. Poems are more manageable amounts of text for young children. Reading poetry increases a child's confidence and oral language skills and increases their reading fluency. Their vocabulary expands as they learn new words and their meanings.
Alphabet Poems for Shared Reading and ABC Sound and Letter Recognition Poem Book are two books that may be fun to use for learning essential reading skills. Familyfriendpoem.com offers poems for every age and stage.
Reading funny poems can become a family activity and provide much enjoyment for all.

GIFTS TO GIVE YOUR CHILDREN FOR CHRISTMAS
Are you staying up nights wondering how to purchase all the gifts in your children's letters to Santa or how to pay for them? Would you consider giving gifts that promote the values you need in your family and that our society so sorely needs? Values are decency, fairness, empathy, consideration of others, responsibility, loyalty, honesty, self-control, courage, self-reliance, dependability, respect, unselfishness and mercy, kindness and compassion. Some combination of these are chosen by families as the most important gifts they can give their children. You can use them as a checklist for the ones you have already instilled in your young children and those you still need to work on.
From a young age, children can be taught how to be good people and treat people the way they want to be treated. Encouraging and teaching children to respect others, how to solve conflict in a healthy way, and that any form of anger or violence is not acceptable may help in preventing violence later in their lives. Of course, parents need to model the values they want their children to have. Children watch how parents handle things.
Behaving well can lead students {children} on a more successful path -- children can even educate parents about love, generosity and good manners. Roger Moore
Do not have your children teach you about these things, but let them learn from you.
Perhaps your children would rather have the gift of spending time with you alone or going someplace with you only. Maybe you can share an activity that you would both enjoy.
These kinds of gifts may mean more to your children and help them build more memories than the most expensive gift.

Family Reads – Alternate to Screen
One of the greatest gifts adults can give -- to their offspring and to their society – is to read to children. Carl Sagan
Tired of watching TV with all its commercials, “educational” videos, even playing video games?
Try reading chapter books out loud, maybe one chapter each evening with everyone assembled in your family or living room. Children can be lounging on the floor or assembling lego figures. The only requirement is listening because human beings acquire better language skills by listening.
According to readingeggs.com, reading out loud as a family builds connections within your family. It provides a safe way of exploring strong feelings as children of all ages learn to accept and understand their own feelings and learn ways to handle them through the characters’ ways to do so. Reading out loud provides a time of peace and enjoyment for the whole family. It promotes bonding with all members of the family. Sharing what they have heard and wondering what will happen next promotes communication and encourages conversation.
Reading out loud connects the spoken word with the written word. It strengthens basic knowledge and increases attention span. It develops a strong vocabulary so that when children see the word in their own reading, they recognize and understand its meaning from hearing it in your family read-aloud sessions. Hearing books read out loud makes it easier to remember and develops long-term memory. Additional memory pathways are formed because of the unique experiences provided by hearing stories. By hearing reading out loud, children can “see” events and ideas unfolding more slowly than on TV or videos; they use their imagination as they watch the unfolding of the story and learn of its different locales (city, village, desert, mountains.)
You can make time disappear. You can bring us to places we have never dreamed of. You can make us feel sorrow and joy and peace. You have great magic. Grace Lin
Chapter books you might try are classics:  Boxcar Children by Gertrude Chandler Warner, even Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder; Wayside School by Louis Sachar.
Other books your family might enjoy The Magic Tree House series by Mary Pope Osborne; James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl; Mr. Popper's Penguins by Richard and Florence Atwater; Hank the Cowdog by John R. Erickson.
To receive many blessings, read to your children from the womb to the tomb.  Joyce Herzog
Your family might even like stories by a certain author and want to read more of those.
If any of these suggestions work for you and your family, please let me know by sending an email to bettemroz@gmail.com. Other comments, suggestions or questions are always welcome.

Helping Your Young Children Read
Are you disappointed that your young children still cannot read? Your children may not have had the foundation they need to develop reading skill. They may have missed an important lesson. They may not have had enough practice. Some children need repeated practice to put necessary concepts in their brain to keep for them to use in the future. They may not have realized the sounding of letters and words was a step to learn to read. They may not have been able to hear the sounds of the letters (phonics) or been able to hear the differences in words or how the sounds make words we hear (phonemic awareness). There may have been trauma or upset in your family that your children did not understand which blocked their ability to learn to read.
    We must use our children’s formative years to give them the tools they can use to survive and provide for their own families...creating a positive future for generations to come.
Reading is so fundamental to their lives that we must do all we can to help them learn to read
Children learn best when more of their senses are involved. Becky Spence (https://www.thereadingmama.com) says the brain is a highway system with on and off ramps. Children struggling to read run into traffic jams. As you would look for another route or way to leave the highway, we need to find other “routes” in a child’s brain to help learners make meaningful connections. Help them write letters on a board or sidewalk to make words as they say one sound or blend sounds to begin words. Maybe use magnetic letters to build words. Maybe write words in jello or pudding powder that they can lick their fingers when they write and say the words successfully. Even sing the sounds.
Mix concepts they already know with new concepts. For instance, see if your child knows the sounds of these letters—M, A, S, P, T, N—and can use them to make words such as pat, sat, mat, map. tap, nap, tan, pan, man. If the child knows the sounds of the individual letters, try saying pa-t, sa-t, etc. which is blending sounds. Forming words with just these six letters could be a step to give children confidence that “I can.” Repeat using other vowels: e,i,o,u in place of “a.”
You can help children visualize the words by closing their eyes or maybe drawing a picture of the word. When you read a book to your children, let them point out words they know in the text. If the word is a new one, point out the “easy part” and what parts may be harder. If you are reading a selection that your children can mark, let them highlight green for the easy part and yellow for the harder or tricky part.
As the adult, you can think out loud about how to figure out words and have your children practice.
Most of the above methods for beginning to read come from a podcast by Anna Geiger which you can access on her website (https://themeasuredmom.com).

Educating Your Children
Education can be defined as learning in which knowledge, values, beliefs, skills, and traditions are passed from one generation to the next. Every experience children have in their formative years can have an effect on the way they think, feel, and act. Education is necessary; attending school may not be. This should bring comfort to parents who are facing the dilemma of having their children attend school during this pandemic. This decision may cause confusion for both parents and children.
Education must be suitable to the age, ability and aptitude of your children. It must be tailored to any special needs your children have. You probably discovered those needs when you attempted to home-school your children at the beginning of this pandemic. The purpose of education is to prepare your children for their future life not only in your family and your community, but also as adults in the world community.
  Education gives us a knowledge of the world around us and changes it into something better...It is about the lessons of life.  Kafoumba Doumbia
As parents, it is your responsibility to educate your children. Their early education should be instilling in them the tools they need to learn. They need to know letters—their sounds and how they work together to make words. They need to know numbers and their use in our daily lives. They need to know how to get along with others and respect them. Your young children’s education might be to help them see the differences in weather, scenery, people, even buildings. Young children must have real experiences to make things concrete. They need active learning, playing and exploring, and opportunities to learn creative and critical thinking. Talk to your children about all they see, hear and experience.
Through education, parents bring out the best of their children. Jane Revell and Susan Norman suggest you teach your child by what you are not just by what you say.
   Your positive attitude and spending quality time with your children helps install good discipline and cultivates their interest in learning and gaining knowledge. Jefferson Jamit
George Santayana said that a child educated only at school is an uneducated child. Don’t be afraid to be the educator of your children.

Helping Young Children to Write
One of the most important jobs of parents as teachers is to create an environment that nurtures creativity, innovativeness, perseverance and true grit without the restrictions of time and scheduling that the school year provides. Children should be free to explore their environment within secure boundaries and that is, within their own family.
By writing their thoughts and memories down, children will be able to remember them better.
Some basics first:
Pencil grip: Watch your young children as they pick up their pencils and crayons. They should hold their pencil between their thumb and index finger with it resting on their third finger and the other fingers slightly bent supporting the third finger. The pencil should be held high enough so they can see the sharpened area of the pencil. They don’t hold their writing instruments in a fist or in another awkward position that makes it uncomfortable to write.
Provide an attractive notebook or paper that encourages your children to want to write. Young children can write just a sentence about their day and maybe even draw a picture. If you need to, you can write for them demonstrating how to hold your pencil or pen properly.
Encourage your young children to always pull down to make their letters, not begin the letters from the bottom up. You may need to provide a model for them to copy or write a word for them they want to use. Again, take your time and let them see how you form the letters.
Help your children to write or print because handwriting is good for their developing brains. Handwriting helps children focus and uses both their left and right brain. It calms and centers their mind.
Handwriting is a valuable skill for children and should be grown along with keyboarding skills.

Scavenger Hunts to Help Your Children Learn
Have you ever had the opportunity to go on a scavenger hunt? Did you like the challenge of finding different objects?
A scavenger hunt is a game in which organizers prepare a list of specific items for one or more persons to find, not buy. The person or group who finds all the items first is the winner.
In the summer heat, many parents may be wondering what they can do to keep their children occupied (instead of video games) when children must be inside much of the time. Try a scavenger hunt!
For your young readers, try a scavenger hunt to review their basic needs to bcome a good reader. Make up a scavenger list of things your children must find that begin with a certain letter or have a certain sound. You can make up a list of sight words or vocabulary words they need to make a sentence.
Becky on her website--thisreadingmama.com--has lists and ideas for math number hunts, 2D shapes, 3D shapes, measurement and telling time. There are alphabet, sight word and summer hunts. You must subscribe to use these hunts using your name and email (for free) to join Becky and to print hunt lists. Becky also provides other great ideas to strengthen your young readers in time for school.
Scavenger hunts give parents or an older sibling a chance to be creative. These games also give the parents time to do their own work or have some quiet time. Children can find these things mostly on their own and develop their problem-solving skills while they figure out what they need to find. For younger children, older children might find pictures on the computer or cut them out of magazines or newspapers. For older children, you may need to give an incentive, like extra screen time if they are the first to find all the objects.

Happy Kids
The time you spend with your young children playing with them. Observing them and just enjoying them is a gift for you as a parent right now. Young children are so curious, so eager to learn, especially from you. When you watch your little ones, notice how much they imitate you -- your actions, your words, your attitude.
Help your young children be happy. Find things to smile about, to laugh about. Find funny sayings, rhymes, and songs. Make up your own. Your children will remember your "silliness" for many years, even after you have long forgotten.

Websites Valuable To Help Young Children Learn
Reading is certainly a fundamental skill that all early learners must acquire.
There are also many pre-reading skills that young children can learn, such as holding a book, watching as you read the words left to right, noticing the pictures and what is happening in them, recognizing rhyme (even memorizing simple rhymes), and matching words to pictures of objects and actions. Children learn to see differences in size, color and shape of objects. This points children to see differences in letter formation, the sounds of letters and that letters make words which helps them learn to read words and put them into sentences for reading.
Helping your children to read means you give them the knowledge of everyday happenings and words for everyday actions so that you provide words they can hear and know. When it is time to learn to read, the knowledge of words your children have heard before makes it easier for them to be able to read.
Websites to help you give your children skills for reading are www.themeasuredmom.com in which Anna gives you games, printables and numerous activities to reinforce necessary skills for reading and math. www.thereadingmama.com also guides you in giving your children valuable practice. In www.handsonaswegrow.com, Jamie provides many activities for your pre-schooler to develop skills necessary for learning.
These are just a few, but you will learn others by searching the internet to find just the right source that will work for your own children.

Teaching Patience to Young Children
It is best to begin teaching patience to little children one step at a time.
When your child wants something, almost give it to them. Don't stop doing what you are doing, but repeat back to them what they want. Hold up one finger and say "Wait! Wait! Just one second." After a few seconds (while you continue doing what you were doing or doing something else), give your child what they have asked for. Praise your young child "Good waiting!" Quickly rewarding your child's patience teaches "waiting" is good. It also helps your child know you keep your word.
If you practice "patience stretching" (waiting longer each time), you will build your young child's self-control. You must not tease, but give your child what he ask you for- to grow your child's faith in you and help him/her know they can trust you.
Patience can enable learning.

Help Your Children Know Themselves
An important element of emotional intelligence is knowing ourselves. Self-awareness is a process taught and practiced throughout life. Children can become aware of themselves by the end of their first year or between 15 and 24 months.
Self awareness is understanding who we are, what we can do, knowing our own strengths and weaknesses, how we get to be the way we are and how our presence and behavior affect others. Understanding our own needs, desires, failings and habits contributes to what makes us unique human beings not like any other. It is up to parents to nurture and develop this trait in their children. It is one of the most essential attributes parents can help their children learn. If children understand their own thoughts, emotions, strengths, challenges, needs and dreams, they can make better choices to help them be successful throughout their lives.
Parents can teach children to be confident—how to take risks, develop a growth mindset “I can!”, and celebrate their wins and successes. Parents can teach children to compliment themselves “I did it!” Trying new things together and giving children opportunities for a chance to learn about themselves are other things parents can do. Teach children about their feelings and emotions and possible ways to handle them.
Thinking about these things focuses on a child’s ability to accurately judge their own performance and behavior and respond appropriately to different social situations in which they find themselves. How to handle frustration, anger, fear and undesirable reaction taught to young children will encourage future interaction with others.
Websites such as fatherly.com/parenting/how-to-teach-self-awareness-to-kids/ suggests you teach children “I” statements such as “I feel ______ when_______.” This helps children with honest communication. “I feel mad when my sister goes into my room without asking me first.” Parents might take this opportunity to promote creative problem solving as well.
There are other websites with ideas to help you implement strategies to help your children of any age learn to be aware of their personality and to develop a positive character.
Such books as Be Who You Are by Todd Parr, The Things I Love About Me by Trace Moroney, Mixed Me by Taye Diggs, You’re Here for a Reason by Nancy Tillson and I Like Me! by Nancy Carlson are just some of the books suggested by readbrightly.com/books-that-help-kids-know-and-love-themselves/ to help your children learn their value and awareness of themselves in a complicated and confusing world.
Every human has four endowments—self-awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom. The power to choose, to respond, to change. Stephen Covey
Endow your children with these gifts.

Mud for Education
Mud for education? Yes! You and your children can write words in the mud, use popsicle sticks to write their math facts on the sidewalk in the mud, and practice writing their names in this way also.
How about holding a Cardboard Boat Race through the streams of water left by a passing thunderstorm? Use duct tape, glue, paint and cardboard (like ready-to-discard cereal boxes) to construct boats ahead of time so children are ready to race them through the water.
Create a Paper Airplane Show. Draw to design a paper airplane. Construct it out of cardstock, newspaper, construction paper or used copy paper. Add stickers to designate each child's plane and fly them outside as the showers subside.
All the above are designed to grow children's future learning (one of the 4 C's necessary--creativity, critical thinking, communication and collaboration.) Designing inside to use outside may be just the activity that will fit these cooling fall days. Your children need to be outside before the weather turns too cold and creativity is always in style. With a little thought and help of websites such as https://themeasuredmom, https://thisreadingmama, Jamie Reimer@handsonaswegrow, and Erika@whatwedoallday.com, you can keep your children busy and growing.

Teach Children to Observe Their World
Children are curious about their world from the time they are born. As toddlers, they want to explore everything and need a watchful eye. When they are old enough to ask questions, they are old enough to be taught how to observe what is happening to get answers. Why does it rain? Where do puddles come from? Why do we need to stop here? Why can't I ride my bike there?
  Teaching children to find answers through observing is a simple skill even busy parents can teach. Parents can teach children to use their senses to observe: their eyes--to see things around them, their ears--to hear sounds loud and soft, their nose--to smell things pleasant or putrid, their taste--to find food and drinks they may like, their hands--to feel things scratchy or soft. Children can use their senses like a scientist to find out how things work and to gather information. The earlier parents help children to observe to find answers, the more they satisfy their children's curiosity in a safe setting. Curiosity is a key ingredient in learning and answering questions.
  Children learn how to behave and respond to others by observing how their parents, grandparents, siblings and caregivers interact with each other and with other people. Observation becomes a powerful learning tool. If the action children observe is desirable, they commit it to memory for use in their future. If the happening is disastrous or causes pain, children may not want to repeat it.
  Observation is beneficial when there is motivation and positive reinforcement, but the learner must be guided to know what to look for, especially as children grow older.
Observation allows children to learn different skills and practices that are valued in their community and culture.

MAKING FRIENDS
Are your children sad and lonely even after being in school for a month? Are they crying that they do not have any friends because no one likes me?
As their parents, you may need to teach them how to make friends. Paul Sanders (https://getthefriendsyou want.com/how-to-make-friends-a-12-step-guide) suggests that having friends who care about us is VITAL. It is a predictor of good health, happiness and success. Being lonely is more dangerous than anything else in our environment. Friendship fulfills important personal needs like being included and is an affirmation of who we are.
From www.wikihow.com/Make-Friends, the following advice may help both you and your children, especially if you are in a new school or community. Just by smiling, making eye contact, and talking to people, you and your children can begin a conversation. Encourage your children to ask other children questions, or make comments like "You look nice today." By asking questions, your children may find out that another child has the same interest and likes to do the same things. If your children are good listeners, people always like to talk to them. Your children will eventually make different friends in school, but they should not be jealous or possessive realizing that this is the way they grow.
Friendship is not about what you can get, but about what you can give. Your children are not alone; others may be looking for a friend, too.

LET MONEY HELP WITH MATH
Do you and your children pick up pennies you see on the ground? Do you put your loose change in a jar to save? Do you help your children know how much money each coin stands for? If you do these things, you are teaching your children math.
Money provides a perfect, authentic opportunity to explore mathematics. Candace Lindemann
Money can be used for counting, sorting, comparing, measuring, adding, subtracting, multiplying, and dividing. When children understand how to know money in these ways, it can even be used for more advanced math functions, like fractions and decimals.
Young children can learn a "brown" penny is one. They can learn to count by ones with pennies even to 100 if you have enough pennies. They can learn about a nickel being the same as five pennies and learn to count by fives. Soon you can help your children to know a dime as ten pennies or two nickels and then count by tens. You can add or subtract what your children have.
Parents can help their children experience money. You can help your children know how much things cost. Maybe Grandma has given them some coins or you have given them coins for helping you in some small way. They have collected their coins in a small glass jar so they can see money that is theirs to use. When they want to buy a small toy or a snack, you can help them count their money to see if they have enough or even have some left over. It is satisfying for children to have their own money to buy something.
Help your children know the difference between wants and needs so they learn to know how to spend their money. Starting with coins helps them learn whether they have saved enough to buy something and whether they want or need it. These are lessons you want to help your young children learn. As children grow older, you can pay them an allowance and help them learn the value of dollars and how to convert their coins into dollars.
You also need to help your children learn to spend. Do they have enough money of their own to purchase what they desire? Can they afford to buy the object with what they have in their glass jar or do they need to wait longer. By not purchasing the object for them, you help them to learn to live "within their means." Hopefully, they see you using your money carefully, too.
Figuring out how to save and spend their money is a way to use math in a practical, everyday kind of way. It also helps your children to know the value of money as they count, add and subtract what they have saved. Keeping the money in a glass jar allows them to see it better than in a bank that may not be see-through.
bedtimemath.org/using-money-to-teach-math/ provides great ideas for you to use to help your children practice math skills.

NO LABELS, PLEASE
As this new school year begins, it is important that you don't attach labels to your children, or allow their siblings to do so. Even seemingly harmless labels can play a lasting role in promoting self-esteem, behavior, and long-term personality. A child who hears certain labels soon begins to see himself as that label. He works to become what that label says about him/her. Labels have much more of an impact than we realize.
Labeling has a very powerful effect on parents' own sense of self-worth. When parents label their children, it might be because they have become what they were labeled when they were growing up.
Negative labels can destroy self-worth through shame. Positive labels can destroy self-worth through an overinflated ego. Ryan Sanders as quoted from Christopher A. Brown
Six ways to control your use of labels are given in the following suggestions from www.fatherhood.org/bid/185434/
1) Reflect on your own childhood and how labeling might have affected you.
2) Ask your child the why behind the what. Listen to your child to give yourself the opportunity to guide.
3) Focus on the action not the actor.
4) Explain the reasons for your comments or label.
5) Ask your spouse (other parent), relatives and friends to "call you out" when you label.
6) Apologize to your child when you label them.

Parents, you need to have the attitude that you can move away from labeling your children and focus on their skill set and how to strengthen it. Children need to know they are more than the label and can become whatever they want to be. Children need to be encouraged to try new things. If a children strive to match only the label, they are limiting their ability to explore other aspects of themselves. They become afraid to try something different because they will lose the love and admiration they have earned through the label. A young man is a basketball star winning many games for his school, but he wants to take an art class because he sees things in a special way. Don't let the label become the sum total of your children's unique characteristics. Encourage your children to explore all kinds of opportunities and enjoy them as a family when you can. Give your children experiences to read and write about and to grow on. One family used to go camping often with their children and opened their son's eyes to become a park ranger.

Use labels when necessary for educational and medical intervention. Even then, be careful they do not limit the growth of your children. Labeling a child as dyslexic may lead to their not learning to read when all they have needed is more of your attention, repeated practice, and much patience. Celebrate every new sound your child remembers, every syllable they remember to put together to form a word, every success and praise them for every accomplishment.

Keeping the focus on your children's positive attributes, while avoiding labels, can encourage children to be happy and healthy. thekidcounselor.com

Building Blocks to Reading
Parents, these are the steps to help your children learn to read successfully:
1) Familiarity with print and books -- teach respect for books, follow words with finger, talk about the book before and after, talk about new or different words.
2) Describe objects, events, and relations. Develop vocabulary, play with words.
3) Recognize letters -- magnet letters to play with on frig or other metal surface, call letters by name when seen, read alphabet books.
4) Sounds of speech -- read books and poems that rhyme, recognize parts of words (syllables.)
5) Phonemic awareness -- sound of each letter, sound of letter with vowel, sound of letter group.
You can do so much by just talking to your children and reading to them everyday.

Talk to Your Children About Reading
To interest your children in learning and books and eventually in learning to read, you need to have materials in your home to read -- books, magazines, newspapers, even catalogs and flyers. Children who see books all around them and see you reading will interest them in wanting to read also.
Let your toddlers hold books and look at the pictures. If you teach your little children how to respect and care for books, you can go to the library with them and enjoy the beautiful, colorful books there. So many libraries now have story times and book sharing for little people. Reading books before bed time is also a wonderful way to help your young children learn to love reading.
Learning to recognize common words, like STOP, store, car, their favorite cereal and food helps them to see letters and how letters form words to tell about things.
Knowing sounds of letters, colors and numbers add to young children's knowledge. Soon their scribblings become the letters of their name. Words that sound like their name or rhyme with their name are fun to hear. when you play with words like this, you help your children hear language used.
When they begin school, the teacher may send home lists of words the children must know. Again, if you make a game of learning these necessary words that may not be able to be sounded out, you help the children recognize them in books and on signs.
Talk to your children about everything you do and everything they see. This helps them to hear word and builds their vocabulary so that when they read, they will have heard the words before.
You are your children's first teacher. If they see you enjoy reading, they will, too.

Young Children's Challenges
Your children face many challenges in their lives. Do you know your children well enough to know what their challenges are? The challenges they face in their young lives might be fear of the dark, fear of not doing things right or not meeting your expectations. They might fear certain animals or spiders. There might be certain foods they are fearful about. How do you help your children to overcome their challenges or their fears?
To help your children develop skills and confidence to overcome fears, Dr. Tamar Chansky on www.webmd.com suggests that you not talk your children out of being afraid. Find out what makes them afraid and practice coping mechanisms--drawing, keeping a stuffed animal nearby, writing, or role-playing. Reward their efforts to become more brave with each little step they take. Talk about their fears and don't belittle the fear as a way of forcing your child to not be afraid.
If they challenge you with their eating habits telling you they are not hungry, respect that. They will eat when they are hungry, but remember not to let them have snacks, especially of unhealthy food, close to meal time. Minimize distractions--no phones or TV-- so that your children will focus on eating what you have prepared. Be patient with new foods. Encourage your picky eater by talking about the food's color, shape, aroma, texture--not whether it tastes good. Serve the new food with their favorite food, and with dips or sauce. Be creative, introducing recipes that have the new food in them. Don't offer dessert as a reward. You are not a short-order cook, fixing what foods each child WILL eat. Have your children help select the fruits or vegetables when you shop. As always, you set the example.

YOUNG CHILDREN NEED YOUR FOUNDATION
With all the attention to preparing your young children for their formal entrance to education as Pre-K and Kindergarten, I cannot emphasize enough your role in your children’s lives.
You are still their first teacher and there are many things you can do in your time with your young children:

Limit your screen time and none at all for your very young children.
Pay attention to your children. This is necessary to get to know and guide them.
Observe your children. Watch how they play and what they like to do. Watch how they interact with others—other children, other adults.
Allow them to explore ad encourage their curiosity. Talk with them about how things grow, how things happen and why.
Talk to and with your children, no matter how young. Develop their thinking and questioning by asking them questions, by your own thinking out loud.
Grow their manners and social awareness about other’s feelings. Insist that your children say “please” and “thank you.” They cannot interrupt you or other adults when you are speaking. They cannot grab toys or other objects from other children or you.
Show them love and give them time, but you also must show them that you need time for yourself also.
Feed them healthy food. You and they cannot live on fast food. Cook foods and let them help you. Even the smallest child can rinse cherries or grapes for all to eat.
Use words out loud so you develop their vocabulary and awareness of new words and words that may mean the same of have similar meaning, like big, huge, gigantic, enormous, large, massive, colossal, great,
Talk about colors and where you find them. Use their names and show them the words for them.
Talk about their senses—seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching as you use each of them. Use words to describe them and then, use different words so that children learn proper use of their senses.
Talk about numbers and help them to know they can add to make more and take away to have fewer or less.
Talk about letters and their sounds so your young children begin to realize that letters make sounds that they can use to make words.
Read to your children everywhere and whenever you make the time. I did not say “take” the time. You need to “make the time” to read to your children-picture books for your young children, chapter books for your older children, and non-fiction for all your children. Let your toddlers handle books and turn the pages. Talk to them about the pictures and encourage them to ask questions or to comment on what they see.

     Talk to your children all the time about everything you do and see and what happens in their lives. You are their first source of knowing how to live and what emotions are proper for things that happen in their lives. No school or pre-school program can do in their limited time with your children what you can do.
     If you don’t know how or feel confident as a parent, there are many people who want to help. There are programs, social agencies, books, websites, even YouTube...and this website.
     You are the most important influence on your children as you model what you want them to be—healthy, happy, polite, thinking, creating, wonder-filled human beings.
     I am praying for you!

EXPLORING WORDS
      Exploring words is a valuable project this summer. Did you know there were eight winners in the national spelling bee this year? You can prepare your children for this by helping them know words and how they can spell them. Use this information to begin.
     If words are the building blocks of our language, how do we know what they sound like, what they say? Children need to know sight words—the words you must say and use so that your children will learn and remember them. Words that we cannot sound out easily become sight words in our reading because we just need to know them. If parents have read to their children, their children will have heard many of the words we now ask them to recognize.
     Other words or new words may be sounded out. Here is how we can detect what they are and what they say. There are 10 vowel sounds that are easy to detect and account for about 70% of our language. They are called long vowels and short vowels. Long vowels are easy because they say their names--a as in late, e as in beet, i as in ice, o as in boat, and u as in rule. Were you a good detective? Did you notice that in the words given as examples of the sound of the long vowel, there were two vowels? This is a good clue to watch for: two vowels in each word—either together, or the first vowel in the word with an e at the end of the word. Sometimes, we call the “e” at the end of the word, a “silent e.” It sacrifices its power to sound in order to strengthen the other vowel in the word, thus enabling the other vowel to say its name. Another clue for a good detective to find a long vowel is it frequently comes at the end of a word, like in Hi, we, ho-ho. Sometimes, a good detective will find a long vowel before a y, as in “say.” In these cases, we consider “y” as a vowel rather than a consonant. Y is the only letter that has this duel designation.
     Short vowels require your children to remember key words:  a as in bat, e as in bet, i as in bit, o as in not, u as in but. Teachers may teach different key words for the short vowels, but the sound of the vowel is the same. You can detect short vowels by noticing that there is one vowel between two consonants, or the vowel comes at the beginning of the word, like act, egg, is, of, us.
     Syllables are parts of words. Many words can be divided into parts as long as each part contains at least one vowel.
     Let’s try what we have learned above in words that have syllables:   as-sail, ba-con, clo-ver, frac-ture, de-cath-lon.
     Although you will find many other kinds of pronunciation marks in your dictionaries, including an upside down e (a schwa) for the long vowel sound (because we do not emphasize or fully draw out the sound of the long vowel). At any rate, 70% is a good percentage of ways to sound out new words and in their syllables. Besides, you can always have a dictionary on hand, even for your small children.

Help Your Children Learn More This Summer
Trying to help you think ahead and plan for your work as "summer teachers" for your children...Now is the time to put ideas to work as you control your children's use of tech. Too much time playing video games, not enough outdoor activity, too much junk food, not enough creating and imagining time makes for slow progress when they return to school.   Too much time away from necessary learning makes for trouble when school begins again. Too little discipline, misunderstood rules (and not following those you have established) makes for a LONG summer.

     The time you take now to sit down and talk about summer plans sets the tone for your summer. You might think "I'll just let them rest and relax for a week." However, that week becomes all the weeks of the summer and bad habits form. It is up to you to set expectations, arrange learning and reading time, provide learning opportunities and time for chores.            Now is the time.

     If you are planning a vacation, arrange a family meeting for all members to have a say. Find out where everyone wants to go and why. Look up activities and attractions for the desired locations on the internet. Use MapQuest and similar sites to plan time and distance. (Reading and math are strengthened by figuring time and distance necessary to travel.) Set an itinerary. You may plan to combine a campout with one night in a motel (with a swimming pool.) Plan outdoor activities like walks and hikes with a trip to the town and its entertainment centers, movies, and museums which encourage hands-on learning. Be flexible and make room for compromise. If you visit a museum one day, visit a theme park the next. You can even plan to go separate ways. If Dad and sons want to visit a Car Show, Mom and the girls can go shopping. After all in the family have finished dreaming, it is time to figure the cost. A day in your home town or to a nearby city to visit museums and have lunch may be all the time and money your family can afford this year with a plan to save for next year's visit to Legoland, Sea World, Disneyland or Washington, D. C.

     Consider the opportunities your trips and time will give your children for learning. Experiences you have are memories you share. Visit places with a history or from a book you are reading.

     Summer is the time to add to your children's general knowledge. The more they know, the more ideas they will have to consider, read and write about. The more knowledge you as "summer teacher" provide for your children, the smarter they will be when they resume school.

Let Money Help With Math
Do you and your children pick up pennies you see on the ground? Do you put your loose change in a jar to save? Do you help your children know how much money each coin stands for? If you do these things, you are teaching your children math.
Money provides a perfect, authentic opportunity to explore mathematics. Candace Lindemann
Money can be used for counting, sorting, comparing, measuring, adding, subtracting, multiplying, and dividing. When children understand how to know money in these ways, it can even be used for more advanced math functions, like fractions and decimals.
Young children can learn a "brown" penny is one. They can learn to count by ones with pennies even to 100 if you have enough pennies. They can learn about a nickel being the same as five pennies and learn to count by fives. Soon you can help your children to know a dime as ten pennies or two nickels and then count by tens. You can add or subtract what your children have.
Parents can help their children experience money. You can help your children know how much things cost. Maybe Grandma has given them some coins or you have given them coins for helping you in some small way. They have collected their coins in a small glass jar so they can see money that is theirs to use. When they want to buy a small toy or a snack, you can help them count their money to see if they have enough or even have some left over. It is satisfying for children to have their own money to buy something.
Help your children know the difference between wants and needs so they learn to know how to spend their money. Starting with coins helps them learn whether they have saved enough to buy something and whether they want or need it. These are lessons you want to help your young children learn. As children grow older, you can pay them an allowance and help them learn the value of dollars and how to convert their coins into dollars.
You also need to help your children learn to spend. Do they have enough money of their own to purchase what they desire? Can they afford to buy the object with what they have in their glass jar or do they need to wait longer. By not purchasing the object for them, you help them to learn to live "within their means." Hopefully, they see you using your money carefully, too.
Figuring out how to save and spend their money is a way to use math in a practical, everyday kind of way. It also helps your children to know the value of money as they count, add and subtract what they have saved. Keeping the money in a glass jar allows them to see it better than in a bank that may not be see-through.
bedtimemath.org/using-money-to-teach-math/ provides great ideas for you to use to help your children practice math skills.

KNOW YOUR CHILD’S LEARNING STYLE
Even though our children are ours and we expect them to be somewhat like us, they may be different from us in ways we have not thought of. They may have different learning styles. We can discover these learning styles by observing our children. The three most easily recognized are visual, auditory, and kinesthetic, but as many as seven are given on the website www.learning-styles-online.com which also contains an inventory that may be helpful.
If a child is a visual learner, he/she learns best by seeing, writing, reading. Visual learners usually do well in school because so much of school learning is reading and writing, even on the computer. Ipads and tablets provide an appealing way to get information for visual learners in classrooms today. Many people are teachers because they have been successful as visual learners.
If your child is an auditory learner, he/she will learn best by hearing and seeing with sounds. Videos and DVDs may be their best teacher. However, they are also distracted by sound. When a person enters a room late and causes the door to slam, an auditory learner will turn towards the sound and become distracted by that "noise."
Some children learn best by handling things. These learners are kinesthetic or tactile. If they can hold an object in their hands, turning it to see what it is made of and how it works, they can learn about it better. They may hear about it at the same time from an adult leader or teacher, but being able to feel it as the presentation is made will help them remember. Someone commented that you would not want your surgeon to be anything but a kinesthetic learner.
Teachers/parents/caregivers who recognize these learning styles will not only give verbal directions but also write them on a whiteboard or paper placed where children can see them.
Sensory learning can also be considered. I am amused when my children/grandchildren smell a food before tasting it. If it smells good, they are more likely to try it. As adults, we have often heard that if food on a plate looks colorful, we think it has a pleasant taste and is good for us. I guess hearing can be considered also. Remember the ad for Kellogg's Rice Krispies--snap, crackle, and pop? Feeling food is interesting. Some children will not eat Jello because it slips off their spoons, or through their fingers.
There is also the theory of multiple intelligences which teachers are to plan into their lessons so they accommodate all learners. This means that children are to be recognized for the talent they display in learning--music (singing, instrument), motion (dancing, acting), art (sculpting, constructing, painting), writing (essays, poetry, stories).
Most human beings are a combination of these kinds of learning but knowing which are predominant helps us to better understand the preferred learning method for each of our children.

NUMBER SENSE CRUCIAL TO LEARNING
You must have a number sense to be able to do measure things and to help your children learn the everyday uses for math. Number sense is at the heart of number understanding.
So much emphasis has been put on children learning to read, but number sense also needs to be developed early. When preschoolers know the names of letters and can better distinguish the sounds of those letters, they go on to read more easily. If children know numbers and what they stand for, they develop a number sense.
Helping your children tell time and how much time they have is necessary. Having your children help you with small cooking chores using a recipe helps them to know how to measure. Playing games such as “Mother, May I” helps them to count steps. Counting pennies to put into a money roll by putting the pennies into stacks of five or ten helps them not only to count, but that numbers stands for objects. Playing store helps them to learn value and how to count money and make change. Talking about shapes helps them to recognize figures, and when observing them, talk about their size. Measuring things by using their hands, arms or feet helps them to estimate inches, feet or yards. For example: horses are sometimes measured by how many hands high they are. Yardage of material can be measured by holding the fabric from your nose to the end of your arm. Feet of a room or piece of lumber can be calculated by using your feet end –to- end as you walk a straight line. Number vocabulary is developed as you use the words diagonal, across, almost, nearly, less than, more than.
Numbers represent different quantities. To be able to estimate without counting needs to be developed. As you look for the lane with the least traffic and search for the shortest line for grocery check-out, share your thoughts aloud with your children. Teach them to see how many things you can get when the sign says 4 for $1.00 and if it is a better deal than 35 cents a piece. Help them to use the scale in the produce department to calculate how many oranges or apples you get in a pound.

Teach your children to estimate.
Match numbers to objects.
Talk about distance.
Describe shapes and sizes.
Measure ingredients.

Math skills that children learn early help them develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills.

DIRECTIONS TO MAKE YOUR OWN CHALKBOARD

1) Choose any size cardboard you want (A heavier cardboard works best.)
2) Purchase DecoArt Chalkboard Paint (DSOC) Hobby Lobby -- $5.99.
3) Place cardboard on layer of newspapers or other disposable surface. With paintbrush, paint one direction (either up-down, or across) covering whole surface. Let dry for at least one hour. Then paint in the opposite direction to further cover the surface. You may have to paint more than one coat in each direction allowing surface to dry in between. Let set for 24 hours before using chalk on it; this will set it permanently.
Wash paintbrush in warm water right after you use it; this will also work for any paint you or your children get on your hands. I was very careful not to get it on my clothes although the directions on the bottle of paint say soap and water will clean it up (ASAP, I'm sure). I would use old clothes as you do with any painting.
4) Use chalk on your homemade chalkboard to have children practice letters, names, numbers, math facts, spelling, erasing with a soft cloth each time. Because classrooms currently have whiteboards, a black chalkboard might be a novelty for your children and they may enjoy using it to practice and learn.
What can you do with Tasty O's (cheerios)
            Slide 0's on pipe cleaner to show:
                        Learn colors,
                        Learn counting
                        Learn addition and subtraction (answers to 10)
            (10 waffle pretzels--as well as 10 0's--to practice eye-hand coordination--allowing younger children to put pipe cleaners into spaces in pretzel before they eat them.)
                        WHAT ELSE...

Parental Control Software
Parents would like to have peace of mind about their children's use of digital devices. Parents, grandparents, and kid caregivers see children using smartphones, iPads, tablets and computers all around them constantly, but do you know you can be in control of when and how your children use their devices. There is valuable software available to you to help you monitor and control your children's use of their technology.
   Protecting them {children} on the wide world web, a truly unregulated atmosphere, is a tremendous task that needs to begin at home, where children are indeed, most vulnerable. Bergen County (N.J.) County Prosecutor John Molinelli
Parental-software-review.toptenreviews.com  offers evaluation of ten of the top parental monitoring devices. These software choices offer many advantages and ways in which to use options for keeping track of how and when your children use their tech to find things on the internet. Some are quite complete in their monitoring service while others may provide just enough of what you think you may need. These software choices range in price from free to $100. You may find their reviews on the above website. You will find NetNanny simple and easy to use. WebWatcher is PC Editor's Choice for its wide range of monitoring. McAfee Safe Eyes offers suggested internet rules you could establish with your children. Some software allows you to control how much time and when you allow our children to use their computers and smartphones.
With the best parental control software, you will be able to provide your children with appropriate access to beneficial internet resources while filtering out the elements that have the potential to harm the ones you love.  John Carlsen
Handing your children a smartphone or tablet with no restrictions is the worst thing you can do. Giving babies digital technology to play with and go to sleep with long before they can comprehend what they are hearing or seeing prevents them from development appropriate to their age. Be careful of pictures of your children you post on social media. Doing so is like opening your front door and allowing anyone to talk to or see your children.

THE NEED To Read

How do we teach American parents to reject many status quo practices that don't actually help children get ready for 21st century adulthood?    Dr. Laura Jana

In the above quote, I think Dr. Jana is trying to tell parents they must grow survival skills for their children--creativity, questioning, grit, resilience and reading. Playing video games and wanting to be entertained is not a skill to carry children into the future. She also stresses that short-time thinking in parenting is damaging if never paired with more long-term approaches. Parents will pay the price later.

Parents must focus on their children in spite of life stresses. Parents must talk to their children. Parents need to be better language teachers. They need to use more and richer language with young children. The more words children hear, the larger their vocabulary. Children need to hear words used to understand what they mean. If you know your children's interests, you can talk to them about these and find books to feed their interests. One teacher found that when she filled her classroom with non-fiction books about their interests, children were more eager to read. Children need to know what reading is for.

From a very early age, children need to hear words being read and spoken. Parents must talk to their children because children need to hear words being spoken before they can be interested in reading them. Teachers can detect children who have not been talked to or read to when these children enter school. Children who have been talked to and read to have millions of words at their disposal. Parents can sing songs with their children, read and recite poetry, and do finger plays with their children because these are powerful tools for enhancing language. Language is developed through human interaction not through TV, videos, and computer time. When you talk to your children, they can respond to you with questions. When you talk as you cook, fix or repair objects, or do art projects and crafts, children learn the vocabulary of these skills.

Asking your children questions and allowing them to ask you questions piques their curiosity. Seeking the answers may lead to more talking and more reading which gives more experience with the words they will need to know later in order to learn to read. Educators cannot stress enough how important it is to read to your children of all ages daily. If teachers never gave any homework except for you to read with your children and talk about what you read together, they would be helping you and your children to use language for a successful future.

Strong readers have a store of background knowledge that helps them make connections and make correct inferences about things they don't know. Help your children have knowledge, expand their attention, and allow them to hear new words often.
Reading is basic to the rest of learning. It is the building block which must be in place to continue to learn and eventually succeed.  Roberta Klein

Kindness as an Aid to Learning
How can kindness help children learn? What does that have to do with learning? Let me count the ways for you.
Kindness is the practice of being sympathetic, compassionate, considerate, and caring. Kindness is a trait that parents, grandparents, and caregivers can model easily. It can be practiced daily. Being kind to your own children and their friends is a good example. Disciplining patiently and quietly takes great skill this time of year.
Teaching your children to be kind to their friends and school mates requires your conversation with them. Helping them to be considerate of their teachers by focusing and listening, and trying to do their best in spite of the many distractions. Play practices and song rehearsals for the Christmas program require your children to practice kindness and self-control. Waiting quietly for their cues is kindness. Lining up the way the teacher directs is kindness. Not shoving or pushing is kindness.
Helping is kindness. "Helping feels good and is nice for the other person and you" in the words of one 12-year-old. Make helping a family affair. To clean the house, set a timer for working together as a team as each accomplishes their assigned tasks. Make the best of your time together. Be patient so you can turn a teachable moment into an opportunity for your children to grow. If order makes you feel more peaceful and less stressful, have the children put their toys back as soon as they are done playing with them, put their dishes in the sink or dishwasher, and put their own laundry away. Even as Santa watches, you might establish good habits that will go through the new year.
Help your children to be a good neighbor. Show kindness to an elderly neighbor by taking them cookies you help your children make or flowers grown in your yard. Teach them to smile or wave at neighbors as they pass.
Teach children to show kindness by helping in their community. Keep their community clean by not littering. Put candy and gum wrappers in their pockets and carry soft drink cans or water bottles to dispose in a proper container. Help them to recycle cans and bottles.
(More ideas at www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/advice/14-little-ways-to-encourage-kindness/?page=5)
Children want to help and know they can make a difference no matter what their age. You can teach kindness one deed at a time. Give your children love and boundaries to show your kindness.
"Kindness is the language the deaf can hear and the blind can see. " Mark Twain
"A little thought and a little kindness are often worth more than a great deal of money." John Ruskin
Kindness goes a long way and enriches those who share.

GENERAL KNOWLEDGE FOR SMARTER FAMILIES

The more knowledge you have, the easier it is to make decisions, to see through propaganda and commercials, to see through media reports, and to understand where information is coming from,
and if it is true.

Consider growing general knowledge -- yours and your children's. "General knowledge" is defined as information on many different subjects which you collect gradually from reading, television, listening, etc. rather than detailed information on subjects that you have studied formally.

Parents, grandparents and caregivers must share knowledge and experiences they have had in life. They need to encourage their children to be curious and interested in more than one area. They need to provide experiences that will help their children know about many different subjects and happenings in our world. Maybe watch a news program on TV once in awhile or read a newspaper together. Find areas discussed on a map.

Children need to know about cultures and where they originate. What is acceptable in our country,
in our culture, may be taboo in another culture. Children need to learn facts and store them in their
brains, not just in their smart devices and laptops. The internet is fabulous for providing us with information when we need it; however, some facts must be stored in our brains. Computers, smart phones and tablets are valuable to us, but what if they crash or we lose them, or lose the satellite signal or electricity that powers them?

Children need to build a core knowledge of their world, an interest in the world around them--the world they do not see if their eyes are always on a screen. When grandfather would visit our home, he took the children for walks. They noticed the ants' path on the sidewalk. They named the different flowers. They talked about where the seeds for plants and trees came from and how they got there.

The Common Core objectives are valuable since they teach children to think deeply, compose meaningful questions, develop different ways to figure things out, but children must have factual knowledge. General knowledge may determine exam results and encourage reading skills. It is up to parents, grandparents and caregivers as well as teachers to make sure children have the basic skills of reading, writing and math in order to profit from strategies Common Core seeks to cultivate. If these tools are not developed in school, it is parents' responsibility to instill them in their children in order to help their children succeed in their future lives and schooling.

Strong readers have a store of background knowledge that helps them make connections and make correct inferences about things they don't know. The more children know, the easier it is for them to understand what they read and to learn new things.

Give your family a the gift of knowledge. It is yours to share.

MATH CHALLENGES for parents and children

Almost as important as learning to read is helping your children with math. Numbers stand for amounts of time, money, distance, cooking ingredients, measurement, weight. Parents can help their children learn basic principles of math as well as reading. To help your children with math is valuable because we use math basically every day for saving, shopping, budgeting, paying bills, being on time for school and work, finding radio stations or TV channels, finding pages in our textbooks, counting jumps when we jump rope or our distance when we throw a football or kick a soccer ball and many other uses that maybe you can think of.

Counting things is a great way to begin helping young children with math. Count fingers, toes, toys, blocks, books. Counting their Cheerios or Fruit Loops on trays while you prepare meals may be fun, especially if you allow them to eat the cereal as they count or make the cereal disappear. You could even teach them to add and subtract in this way as your children enter school. Counting cars or trucks as you drive is a way to keep your children's attention. Counting things of color helps your children not only to count but to know and remember their colors. Reading counting books is also valuable. These are only idea starters for you. There are still more ideas on websites such as themeasuredmom.com., www.handsonaswegrow.com. and wwwmathgeekmama.com. Young children should have active learning rather than math programs on the internet. The above websites are ideas for you as parent-teacher rather than for your children to use to learn.

Using real or play coins to learn about money is something children can do as they grow older. As a parent, you can do this with your children easily. When you get change after you have paid for your groceries (when you pay with cash), put it into a baggy and let your children count it when you get home. Play games where they can use money (real or fake) to buy snacks--fruit or cookies.

Use every opportunity you can think of for your children to learn about money they can handle. As they grow older, giving an allowance for chores or duties they do. If you pay them in coins, they will learn the value of their money more quickly than when you pay them in dollars. See if you can encourage your children to write a "proposal" for work they might do around the house for which they can get paid. If they come up with this idea, they may be more willing to help you than if you assign them jobs.Negotiate with them on "reasonable" payment. Then, teach them how to save in a piggy bank, jar, or in a bank account that you establish for them.

GROWING A READER

Reading is a skill, and like all skills, it takes time and practice—doing things over and over until the skills become internalized, automatic. There are steps in the learning-to-read process. If your children miss a step, are not taught that step, or do not fully understand what and why they are learning, you as the parent may have to help them understand. If children have not had the opportunity to practice at each step, they may be missing a necessary ingredient for becoming a good reader.

Words are the builders of our language, and letters are their tools. Children need to recognize letters and become familiar with words used daily.

Interest children in words at an early age by displaying letters in their bedrooms or play rooms. Help them to recognize the letters in their name and names of things they use and see often. Put labels on common things, like door, cup, car, doll. It is better to start with a few words and add labels as your children recognize the word as the name of the object.
Help them to know the names of the letters. Then help them to find the letters in different places. Play games that show which letters come before or after a certain letter. (This is an important skill they will need to use in the future to use alphabetical order efficiently, such as in lists, dictionaries, and research.)

Help them to recognize signs—STOP, DANGER, POISON—names of stores, and their favorite foods and cereals. Help them to spell them using their growing knowledge of letters. Help them know colors and recognize the spelling of the colors.
When your children begin to read, there will be what are called “sight words” for your children to memorize. These are words that cannot be easily sounded out: a, the, there, here. Children must memorize these words. For beginning readers, color and number words may be taught as sight words.

There will be words they can sound out, knowing the sounds of the letters and the most common sounds of the vowels—the letters a, e, i, o, u. A classic book about reading by George and Evelyn Spache Reading in the Elementary School states that if children know 10 basic sounds of the vowels (5 short vowels and 5 long vowels) and their most common location in words, they can pronounce accurately two out of every three new words they try to read. To know the sounds and situations in which these vowels are found is to reading as the basic facts are to mathematics. (How to know them will be in my article next week.)
You, as a parent, grandparent, and caregiver must work with your children’s teachers to see that your children learn to read. Helping them to recognize letters, letter names, common words, and the sounds of the vowels will help them forge ahead in their acquisition of necessary reading skills.

FUN BUILDING VOCABULARY

Vocabulary is the body of words that make up a language.

Vocabulary grows as parents communicate with their children. When a parent working on a project says "This is so frustrating!" it doesn't take long before their young child is saying "This is so frustrating!" with no idea of the meaning of the word "frustrating." Engaging your children in conversation grows their vocabulary, especially if you have encouraged them to ask about words they do not yet know or understand.

Reading to your children, no matter what their age, grows vocabulary. They hear words pronounced and used in context (the story you are reading). Although fiction books may be the most entertaining, non-fiction books about real animals and nature teach extended vocabulary as you read and discuss the movement, homes and habits of the creatures. Reading comprehension depends on understanding words

Playing word games requires nothing more than the gift of your time. While you are traveling in the car, pick a word and have your children tell other words for that one. For example, telling them the word "big" would lead to more words like large, huge, giant, gigantic, immense, great, vast, enormous, humongous, massive, deep, lofty, towering. Attempt to discover words that mean "funny"-- humorous, hilarious, amusing, comical, jest, joke, witty. How about "good"? Words such as nice, fine, excellent, agreeable, lovely, delightful, dear, gorgeous, skillful, clever, expert, capable, competent, useful, pleasant, delicious, scrumptious, delectable, tasty, delightful are possibilities.

Fun word games can be done at home also. You or your older children can use words (such as the week's spelling words) printed on index cards or scrap paper cut into rectangles, putting the words on one card and the definition on another. Play "Concentration" placing the cards face down on the table, then turning cards over until finding the word and its definition claims the win. Play "Bingo" with 16 vocabulary or spelling words, writing the words--one in each of the sixteen squares. Write the definitions on cards or papers that each takes turns pulling from a jar or can. If your child matches the word with its definition, they can cover it on their "bingo board." (www.corwin.com/games)

Games can motivate learning and increase working memory. They can help children pay attention and focus. Besides, games are fun!

A valuable use of vocabulary learning is "the only vocabulary game that feeds the hungry" through the World Food Program (http://freerice.com/) You and your children can register as a family, playing together. You are given a word and have four choices to match the right definition. For every correct answer, 10 grains of rice are donated through the WTP to feed the hungry throughout the world.

The importance of vocabulary training can make a difference in your children's success in school. Children with strong vocabulary skills tend to learn faster.

Develop a love for vocabulary learning. In this age of internet, e-mail, and web browsing, vocabulary is constantly changing and growing. English vocabulary becomes exciting!

SUPPORT ENHANCES LEARNING

As you enable your children's own choices, you must also support what they decide to do. Planning and patience need to be a part of choice. Self-regulation will give them the skill to make better choices. Self-discipline or self-regulation is a skill to be taught from an early age.

A wise parent will use childhood to prepare a child for success as an adult. Self-discipline is one of the most important character qualities a child can develop.  www.imom.com/7-ways-to-teach-self-control

Support your children telling them they must practice self-control in order to make good decisions. Whether to spend their time playing games or learning a new skill will be their decision. However, you must take time to help them understand that their decisions will control their lives daily. We choose to play because of the pleasure it gives us, but if we control our "play time," we can strengthen our self-control. Giving children the power to choose grows control over their own actions, behavior and emotions. Through your conversations with your children, you can point out the advantages of good choice and self-control. You can support them in their decision-making by talking about the consequences or results of their decisions and choices BEFORE they make a decision.   This is a necessary conversation for you to have with your children.

Children with poor self-control and planning abilities are more likely to have aggressive behavior problems or to experience worry and depression. They are more likely to make poor choices as far as eating, cheating, smoking, and are more likely to be attracted to alcohol and/or drugs.
Brains seek a kind of balance between difficult tasks and easy rewards. By working hard and learning the value of hard work and task completion, even children experience satisfaction. By taking time to play and explore, we increase chances of discovering new opportunities. None of this can be accomplished if our children continually tie themselves and their days (especially during the summer) to the computer, iphone, or tablet.

You encourage decisions good for each of your children by helping them to consider the value of their time. You can encourage decisions and support your children in their choices of activities. You can plan as a family a trip or stay-cation to give them opportunities to grow in their ability to choose wisely--whether to learn and explore or bury themselves in tablets. You can teach them self-control as you visit historical sites for them to learn through viewing exhibits and demonstrations, not destroying them.
You can teach your children how to make good choices, practice self-control and make better decisions about their time and money by setting an example in your own lives. It seems that thinking in order to demonstrate and promote these valuable skills is out of vogue.   Reestablish them to support their growth in your family and your lives.

Directions to Follow

To get your children to listen to you and follow your directions has to be one of the hardest things for parents.

When children do not follow directions, it can be extremely frustrating for parents                     .Challenging Behaviors

     Children often forget or don't follow directions. They ignore you or just don't listen. Perhaps you are giving the directions "not to be followed."
     Try these methods:

Give directions only when you have time to follow through.
Reduce distractions. Pause the TV, interrupt the video game, turn off the music.
Make eye contact, say your child's name, put your hand on his shoulder to get his attention.
You may need to get close, about 5-7 feet in front of your child, before she notices you.
Ask your child to repeat the direction back to you. This will give you the opportunity to clear any misunderstanding.
Make your directions positive commands. Do not ask or give children choice if the task is something that must be done.
Calmly repeat if not followed. Parents' habit of frequent repetition prompts children to not listen the first time.
Be positive in your praise or reward for directions followed and tasks completed.

  When children are young, you may need to give one direction at a time to be followed. "Put your toys on the shelf first." not "clean your room." They may dawdle and not know where to begin. As the children grow older, you may provide a check list of chores that you expect them to complete while you are at work. Remember to reward tasks completed. Rather than token or money rewards, you may give more time to play video games or stay up later.
     For children of all ages, the last thing you say will stick in their minds. "We need to go to the store.     Please put your shoes on and get in the car." They may get into the car still holding their shoes in    their hands.
     Things you can practice with your children as you ride in the car or take a walk are using directions, like 'turn left' or 'turn right.' Help them to know directions such as east, west, north, and south. Where does the sun rise? How do you know we are going west?
     Sometimes, you may need a signal or a picture for children to follow your directions. The more opportunities children are given to see and hear instructions, the more likely they are to complete the task. Using as many of the senses you can involve with your words to get your children to pay attention and follow your directions, the more they will remember and follow.
     "Pick your battles." Avoid major struggles by picking a few directions that must be followed for the smooth running of your household and for your own peace of mind.
More ideas can be found at www.cdc.gov/parents/essentials/directions.  www.about parenting.

PLAY WITH YOUR CHILDREN

Another gift you can give your children is to play with them daily, or if time is a problem, on the weekends Just giving them your time and attention is a gift.

Make breakfast special by eating together. Maybe make funny pancakes, allowing your children to make their own designs and telling you what they have made. Include raisins, cherries, fruit or chocolate chips to make them even more creative and fun. Take your time eating, just enjoying your time together. Plan the rest of your day. Will it be a walk or a hike? Will it be a trip to a Children’s Museum or any museum? Will it be a game of soccer or football between parents and children? Encourage your children to make the choices and include as many outdoor activities as you have children. Maybe a picnic lunch would combine choices and give everyone a good dose of vitamin D. Playing outdoors is a good change from school and work.

Play fosters physical, mental, and social development. It helps children develop unique perspective and individual style.

Keep your children and yourself young by playing and pretending with them. You must get to know your children well enough that when something is wrong or changed in their behavior, you recognize it and can offer your help.

Take time to do necessary chores, but making them into play can be fun. Wash the car and let your children play in the mud you make. Feeling the mud seep through their fingers is good for children's brain development. Children who play in the mud or dirt develop stronger immune systems, and this kind of play is good for the heart and may even reduce cardiovascular inflammation as an adult. Mud makes kids happy, improving their mood, reducing anxiety and may even facilitate learning.

Prepare dinner together, encouraging your children to help set the table or make the salad. Again, this is a good time to talk with your children, to get to know them better. After you have cleared the table, play board or card games. You can even play a computer game if it is for two or more or show your children how you dance to Wii Just Dance game. Laughter is good for all!

Limit this time so that you have time to read together. Reading to your children never goes out of style and is good for all ages. It allows your whole family to use their imagination and see the action in their minds.

The more variety of experiences children have in their lives, the wider their range of creative expression. Play helps to build the 21st century skills children will need to thrive in the workplace and to navigate their way in the world, and spending time with your children gives them the comfort and security they need to risk and adventure.

Give your children BFF (Breathtaking Family Fun) to put on Facebook along with their
bff memories.

Effective Beginnings

Talking to your children and reading to them enables them to know ords and explore word meanings. To interest your children in books and eventually encourage them to read, have books, magazines, and newspapers in your home as material to read. Feeding children's curiosity about the
things they see and see others doing helps them to want to know more. To answer their questions,
you turn to reading--on the internet and more readily, in books. There are beautiful, colorful books available to you and your children free in the library about almost anything you want to know. Through your conversations with your children, you will get to know what they are most interested in and feed
their interests with books.

    Reading is a skill that needs to be learned, beginning with your reading and reading to your children. Recognizing common words like signs (STOP, DANGER, POISON,) names of stores you go to, their favorite foods and cereals helps children to know letters and how letters in words tell us about our favorite things. Names of letters, colors and numbers provide more knowledge for children.   Hearing
and finding other objects that have the same letter sound they hear at the beginning of words captures their attention. Words that sound like their name or rhyme with their name are fun to hear. Playing such games with your children helps them to hear their language and want to use it like you do.

    When children begin to read, their teacher may give them words to memorize, simple words that they must know. These words are called sight words -- to, the, and, that, is, are. Such words need to be recognized automatically in order to advance the children's progress in reading. You as parents must work diligently to help your children memorize these words, using flash cards or word games (www.the measuredmom.com.)

     Other words, children will be able to sound out if they know the sounds of the 21 letters and the 5 vowels--a, e, i, o, u. Vowels are most commonly called long vowels and short vowels. In Reading in the Elementary School,  a classic book about reading by George and Evelyn Spache, they claim that if children know the 10 basic sounds of the vowels and their most common location in words, they can figure out two of every three words they read, a giant step in their reading, spelling, and writing. Children will try to sound out words as they write which is called "inventive spelling," but a smart parent or teacher will gently and patiently write the words correctly, explaining to the children that most people spell the words this way. Spelling words correctly helps us to communicate more effectively and if corrected early will help the children to see and memorize words used most often.

    Your children not knowing how to read in later years may lead to the question "Where were the parents when their children needed their help to learn to read?" Don't be those parents!

    We need to tell kids flat out: reading is not optional. William Dean Myers

HANDWRITING

I like the process of pencil and paper... I think the writing is better when it's done in handwriting.  Nelson DeMille
Handwriting should be a skill that parents and children can master.  Young writers start first by scribbling and interpreting what they write for early teachers and parents.  It is important at this time to help children learn to hold a pencil correctly.  This as important as teaching children how to use any tools; they must be held correctly to use them most efficiently.  You would not hold a hammer by its claw in order to pound a nail, or hold a screwdriver like a pencil to tighten a screw.

Children should be able to write their name by the time they reach kindergarten.  Teachers prefer that children begin their names with a capital letter followed by small letters.  You may be helping your children write all capital letters thinking that is better for them.  Regardless, your job must be to teach them to hold their pencils correctly.
Children should use what is called "the tripod grasp." They should hold their pencil between three fingers--the index or pointer finger, the middle finger and the thumb.  The index finger is the guide while the middle finger and the thumb stabilize the pencil.  If the pencil rests near the knuckle of the middle finger and if the fleshy or soft bit of the tip of the index finger guides the pencil where children want it to go, they will be set to acquire the correct position for learning to write.  When they write, all three of these fingers support children's efforts.  Gripping the pencil too tightly can cause strain and pain and tire the hand.  If children grasp the pencil in a fist, curl their fingers, or hold their index finger so close to the point of the pencil they cannot see what they are writing, they are not holding their pencils good enough to write without hurting their hand and arm muscles. If your children are holding their pencil too tightly, it has been suggested that they hold a small ball of clay or tissue, a small rubber ball or a penny in the palm of the hand they are using to write.
This helps them to relax the grasp on their pencil.www.rjblain.com/2013/05/on-writing-a-lesson-in-holding-a-pen-or-pencil/ provides clear instructions and photos to show the correct way to hold a writing instrument.

Do your older children have trouble holding their pen or pencil? Does it affect their hand, arm, body or posture when they must do an assignment in handwriting?  Are they holding their head down to the side or trying to write while lying on their bed?  Are they endangering the movement of their eyes by staring at a screen and not moving their head and eyes, while thinking and/or writing? By observing your older children, you can see bad writing habits forming, but they become harder to break.

As a parent of young writers, PLEASE make the effort to help your children learn to handwrite in the correct way.

Give Your Children a Sense of Wonder
Are you and your children missing the magic of life? Do you share the wonder of "you" with your children? Do you make the time to help your children see the wonders of our world?

By being yourself and sharing what you have been given, you are showing the wonder that you are. You and your children are treasure chests of amazing gifts and wonder just waiting to be opened. You are the creator of your own life. (Mary Paleologos)

Summer is such a grand time to discover each other and our place in the world as human beings. We think. We dream. We wonder.

How do we do this? Gregg Levoy in www.psychologytoday.com gives the following ideas to spark your sense of wonder:

Look for displays of mastery and genius. How do people use ordinary things to make extraordinary creations?
Look at yourself through someone else's eyes. Do you ever wonder what your children see in you? Look at them and their actions. Children, especially young children, imitate you.
Approach things from new angles. When you watch a beautiful sunset, do not just look at the sun and sky. Look at how it changes the land you are standing on, the mountains around you, the horizon.
Change the context. We take walking for granted, but how different it is to take the moving sidewalk at an airport.
Slow down. Take a walk, not for health reasons, but just to see what is around you--the grass, the flowers, the pebbles that line your path. Help your children to see those things, too.
Go away from your desk for awhile, just to change the scenery. Wonder why you haven't noticed the scratches in the door or the color of the wastebasket.
Change your lenses, literally. Try seeing things through magnifying glasses, binoculars, microscopes, telescopes, amplifiers, even stethoscopes. Together with your children you can find all kinds of things to wonder about using these "new" ways to sense.

A young child's world is full of wonder and excitement at everything new. If a child is to keep his sense of wonder as he grows, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him, the joy, excitement, and mystery of the world we live in (Peter Ernest Haiman, PhD.) Pave the way for a child to want to know so you can help him/her open doors to learning, exploration, and discovery. Dr. Haiman provides an exhaustive list of ideas for parents (and teachers) to create, nourish and sustain wonder for parents and their children on his website.
Joy and wonder are not a luxury for children, but a necessity. Small moments of joy and a feeling of wonder can give children meaning in a sometimes chaotic world, building a sense of "rightness" and resilience from which they can draw in the years to come. www.bright horizons.com.
Wonder is the beginning of wisdom. Socrates

GETTING YOUR CHILDREN READY TO LEARN  (Reading)
     Several tools are necessary to help your children learn--positive experiences, attention to teacher and tasks, remembering necessary things, growing confidence through encouragement and knowledge, but where will all that knowledge come from? From you as parents, grandparents, and caregivers. Sure, schools and teachers will increase your children's knowledge, but the push to learn all your children can will come from you...through sharing and reading. Reading will become one of the most important skills your children will acquire. Hopefully, their first learning came through you as you read books to your children-- books about colors, sounds, and numbers, books about animals and other children, books about the world in which we live. As you continue to read to your children of all ages, they will learn more and understand more. You might even take turns reading--one paragraph for younger readers, and one or more pages for older readers in your family.

   Children will receive knowledge through listening and reading. They will share knowledge through speaking and writing. Your children learn their language through listening and reading. Ina recent article in theReader's Digest, an author was commenting on his score on the SAT in these words: "You never stop reading, particularly in the Internet age...if you read and write every day...you'll stay relatively sharp." Regardless of how the technology changes, using spell check for writing or audio books for listening, reading will continue to be a necessary skill.

At the President's Brain Summit in early 1997, researchers suggested that reading to children in their first few years, when the brain's circuitry is being formed, enhances the children's emotional and social development and lays the groundwork for vocabulary and later educational success.  (How to Grow a Young Reader, page 20)

I would like to add to the above quotation. Reading aloud to your children at any age gives them knowledge, expands their attention, allows them to hear new words and may even prompt questions and discussion. My 91-year-old friend told me that her father always read to her and then discussed what they had read. It is one of the fondest memories she has of her father.

   Having books in your home is another way to interest children in reading. "To add a library to your house is to give that house a soul." Marcus Tullius Cicero as quoted in a Tweet from Barefoot Books.

   Seeing you read, even reading the back of a cereal box, the summaries for DVDs or how to play a game, shows your children the usefulness of reading. Seeing grandma and grandpa reading the newspaper or the label on a medicine bottle shows children the importance of being able to read. Seeing adults read the instructions to make, sew or repair something shows your children you know the importance of what you are asking them to do. Seeing you reading makes them want to read, too. Talking to your children about letters, sounds and meaning of words, books and reading encourages them to try reading as a life skill.

EXPECTATIONS FOR THE HOLIDAYS
Commercial Christmas has been with us for quite a while--since early October in order for stores to glean all they can from your pocketbook. It is no wonder that your children have long lists for Santa. They want many new toys that they see advertised or an iPhone way out of your budget.

Help your children set realistic gifts and limit the number so that they will not be disappointed. One of my friends worked feverishly to get everything her boys had on their lists. Rather than have your children face disappointment on their favorite gift-receiving day or fail to show gratitude for what they receive, consider some of these ideas.

Have your children rank gifts they would like to have, as the one they really can't live without first and continue to rank their choices. Limit the number of gifts they are to receive for younger children, and the amount of money you can spend for gifts for the older children. Talk to grandparents and extended family to purchase only one gift for each child. Children who receive too much, even throughout the year, fail to realize the specialness of the gifts they receive.
Talk about the real meaning of the holiday. Why do we celebrate Christmas? What does this day mean to our faith, to our family? Gifts are only a PART of this day. Why do we give and receive gifts?
Focus on giving. Include in your holiday preparations the joy of giving to others. Encourage your children to make gifts for family and friends. A coupon book can be suggested, with "good for..." gifts, such as "good for" helping to fold the laundry or breakfast in bed. Even parents can give "good for..." coupon books, such as good for taking you to the movies or to breakfast on Saturday morning--only you and I.
Adopt a family for the holiday. Make gifts for everyone in that family or use their allowance to buy some kind of food or fruit for the family holiday meal. Allow your children to experience the joy of giving to others in order to make this holiday special for another family.
Have your children write a note, compose a poem, paint or draw a picture, or learn a song that is the favorite of their grandparents. Gifts do not always need to be things, and if the opportunity arises to learn to macramé, crochet or knit (yes, even boys), take the time to teach your children or make time for them to learn from others. These skills are not only great to share; they are emotionally, physically and psychologically satisfying and increase mental ability to remember and carry out patterns.
Count your blessings as a family. Let children see how fortunate they are by volunteering at a homeless shelter or serving a meal at a soup kitchen.

When you give up yourself, that's when you will feel the true spirit of Christmas...Joel Osteen

STRUCTURE ARCHIVE (ages 8-10)

Teach Honesty to Your Children
Start talking about honesty early in your children’s lives; you establish honesty and truthfulness as a core value in your home. Do not lie yourself. Model what to do more than what you say. Be careful even with “little white lies.” Your children are listening and learning. Search for ways to tell the truth. Talk about your own struggles as you were growing up and even now as you work and interact with other people.
All kids lie, but don’t let it slide. Truth is what is real. Explain how lying breaks trust and hurts relationships. “Families need to be able to believe what they tell each other is true." (haymarketca.com) Parents need to be the first examples of honesty for their children as the children grow. Even though some things are hard to talk about, parents need to think through their answers making sure the information they give their children truthfully is age appropriate.
Parents should not ask questions when they know the answer. Kids will lie to avoid getting into trouble or making you angry. Let them know you already know the truth.
Try not to label your children as “liar.” They will begin to believe you and act accordingly. Tell them how you do not like lies and give them an opportunity to explain why they lie. Practice calm discipline. If your children suspect that you will have a strong emotional reaction to what they have done, that you will be harsh, yelling or punitive, children will avoid telling the truth. If children continue to lie to you, make the consequences known to them and even make them greater.
Make it so it is not worth it to lie. (10 Ways to Teach Your Children to Be Honest - All Pro Dad”)
In order to recognize a person or friend as trustworthy, your children must first be able to detect truth or lies in others. Watch what people do rather than what they say. Watch their faces and their body language. If your children sense inconsistency, encourage them to walk away. Teach them other ways to take action to make themselves safe. Older kids need to learn to trust themselves, their own intuition. Never let peer pressure sway your children from doing the right thing. If your children see their friend cheating, they should tell their friend before reporting it to the teacher. Cheating on tests is still cheating. All kids have the right to say “no” and “seek help” advises TIME magazine.
Learn what is true in order to do what is right. - IdleHearts
Praise honesty and reward it. Telling the truth takes courage when lying would be easier. If you reward truth, you build your children’s self-confidence and reinforce positive behavior.
Truth is a deep kindness that teaches us to be content in our everyday life and share with the people the same happiness.
Khalil Gibran

Establish a Consistent Routine
Are you frustrated trying to keep your family to a routine that enables you to get out of the house on time in the morning? Are mornings hectic at your home as you try to get your children up and going? Maybe establishing a consistent routine is what is needed to keep your sanity and help you begin a good day every day.
A consistent routine gives you and your children power and control and is worth investing your time and effort. It needs to begin your daily activities and opens time for emergencies or new challenges. It is good for all to combat stress and anxiety and brings structure to your lives. Letting your children know your expectations appropriate for your child’s age is important for a positive parent-child relationship.
Every day is a journey, and you need to know the best route to complete it. cdc.gov
Routines reflect your family’s values and help your children know what is important to you as a family. No two family’s routines will be the same and each to unique and valuable to yours.
Beginning each day with the same routine until it becomes a habit takes will power and determination, effort, and patience, but if you do this early in the school year, you will reap great rewards and have happier, well-adjusted children. When kids are able to predict how their morning will go, they feel more secure and in turn, make better choices. It also helps them to know limits and boundaries. There are no video games at all in the morning. Do not let your children hijack your routine. If your older children finish their breakfast before the younger children, let them review their homework or read a book which they can put down quickly when it is time to catch the bus or their ride.
If your routine is inconsistent, it becomes confusing for your children. They may develop aggression and hostility or complacency and passivity. They begin to establish bad habits that are difficult to break and give you headaches and more problems. Such behaviors increase stress and anxiety for all of you to begin your days.
Structure and routines help kids learn to control their behaviors. Getting the whole family on a schedule eliminates power struggles and gives your children a sense of security. It promotes self-discipline even if it is not their favorite thing, but necessary. It helps parents maintain consistency.
Choosing clothes and getting backpacks with completed homework, permission slips, and lunches or lunch money ready the night before and by the door may work. Shoes and jackets can be put there also.
Few rules rarely bended, but with flexibility as called for, is suggested by Jessica Orlick at kidscreektherapy.com. The website premieracademyinc.com offers Six Benefits of a Consistent Routine if you as parents need help. Just do your best and keep trying.

Give Your Children Money Lessons
Too many of us and our children have gotten caught in traps that money has caused, or rather the lack of money knowledge. It is up to parents to help their children avoid these traps. When you are having conversations with your children, include those about money often.
esperian.com suggests the following steps to help children manage their money.
Talk to your children as you shop. Let them see you compare prices on the things you buy, even cereal and bread. Use coupons to save money. Allow your children to look for and cut out coupons for cereal, household, and personal items. Show them how using coupons saves money. Let them hand their money and coupons proudly to the cashier.
Help your children make healthy choices. Look for the best prices iton newspaper or magazine ads and online for the things they want. Help them to save their own money for the desired item or ask for it as a future gift.
When your children see you using your digital devices to pay, help them to know it is not money at the touch of a button but money that is deducted from your checking or savings account. If you use a credit card, show them you are borrowing money that you have to pay back.
Give your children lessons about money for their future lives. Talk about money daily, give your children guidance and help them make smart money decisions.

Plan to Find Joy in Doing Chores
Giving children chores can make them feel wanted, teach vital life skills--ethics, responsibility, self-reliance, and self-esteem--and help ease the workload for parents. Children are capable of doing much more than parents think. If parents do not expect perfection and help children to know they are part of a team, working together to keep the house clean and neat should not be too much of a challenge. Doing things with their hands releases “feel-good” brain chemicals that protect against depression. Kids who help at home are more confident, resilient, and compassionate, do better in school, and grow up into more successful young adults. Helping cooperatively to keep house reasonably clean and orderly gives pride to all in the family.
Find a chore your kid loves to do, and start a habit of wanting to help out that’ll last a lifetime. Catherine Newman
Children of all ages can help around the house. All children can make their beds each morning. Your family can read books about doing chores (goodreads.com/books about doing chores) or sing songs (moms.com) to make doing chores more joyful but getting the jobs done takes action.
See The Ultimate List of Age-Appropriate Chores by Robert Myers, Ph.D.
Elementary-age children can help without constant reminders. For this age, a chore chart or task list will help children check off work as they complete it without someone looking over their shoulder. This requires trust on the part of parents as well as honesty on the part of your children. Honesty is one of the traits you can instill in your children in this way. You might give rewards such as stars or special time playing computer games for tasks done well and without complaining.
Doing chores together is an investment with the wonderful dividend of spending time together doing a meaningful activity and enjoying and valuing that time.

Plan to Go with Geography
Geography is a living, breathing subject, constantly adapting itself to change...For me, geography is a great adventure with a purpose. Michael Palin
Give your children a great adventure. Plan to give them a well-rounded education with fun. Give them an awareness of physical features of Earth and knowledge of political boundaries and people. Give them a fascination with different countries and different people. Help them to know the difference between a continent and a country, even the names and features of states. If you are planning a family vacation, explore the area on the computer before you go so they know the natural formations that make that state or locale unique.
www.wehavekids.com/education/6-Fun-ways-to-Teach-Geography-to-Kids-at-Home offers the following ideas for parents. Use songs to acquaint children with geography. Some suggestions are on the Kids Learning Tube Channel on YouTube: The Solar System, the 7 Continents Song, the Fifty States and Capitals Song, and the Fifty Nifty United States.
Using puzzles of the United States showing states in different colors and shapes helps children to recognize their own state as part of our country. With a world map puzzle, your children can find continents and far away countries.
You can hang a large map of the world in your children’s rooms. Then post pictures on the sides of the map of the landmarks, physical features, people, and food that your children find in magazines and newspapers. Reading children’s books set in different countries may interest your children in finding those countries on a map or globe.
A worthwhile purchase might be a desk-top globe so children can find their place on Earth. A game they might play is closing their eyes and placing their finger lightly on the globe while a sibling spins the globe. When the globe stops spinning and where their finger is might be where there is an earthquake or a flood or someplace they will “find their love.” Your children might use a tape measure to figure out distance, deciding ahead of time how to use the lines on the tape to show measurement when they place the tape against the globe, such as one inch to be one hundred or one thousand miles.
How about a game of indoor soccer and volleyball using a blow-up or beach ball globe? If the kids miss hitting the ball, they might be asked to name the spot on the globe where the ball lands.
Children can create their own maps of their surroundings, including how many blocks to school or to the park. They can create a map of your house showing different rooms in distinct colors. They might even make up imaginary towns or areas in which they or their play figures would like to live.
Children are often curious about where places are. It costs so little to help your children learn geography in these ways.
John F. Kennedy has said history makes us friends, and geography makes us neighbors. Help your children be good neighbors.

Adventures and Opportunities
Do you or your children know what an adventure is? When children were asked what an adventure was, they answered it was going on a journey to an unknown place, attempting to find a treasure, doing something you have not done before or that you do not know enough about. Maybe it is something in which you make history or discover a new invention. It can be in a book or video, but that would not be as much fun. Adventures should be action-packed!
Adventures should be an important part of children’s lives. They need and want adventure. They need direct, first-hand experiences to become healthy, active, resilient, confident, independent kids. As parents, you should participate in the adventures sometimes, too. Adventures, especially those in nature, are essential to childhood development and to the physical, mental, and emotional health of both children and adults.
Take your family camping. You can camp in your backyard with just a pillow and blanket to watch the stars in the night sky or to see the sun rise. Camping overnight in your back yard does not cost money, need training or special equipment—just drinks and snacks for hungry campers. Building a tree house or fort in your backyard can also be a family adventure.
Instead of putting money into new video games, use some of your money to buy a tent, sleeping bags, and maybe camping equipment. If you give your family the opportunity to really camp in a national forest or campground, you will discover animal sights and sounds and enjoy hikes through the forest, over streams and rocks.
Encourage your ‘wired' children to play outside and look around the neighborhood, to explore and name trees and flowers, even weeds.
Are you spending your time looking after your children trying to keep them safe and out of trouble? Parents, you need skills and confidence to lead your own family adventures which will give your children ways to be safe, assess danger and take risks. When you are not around, you can trust them to use good judgment and know danger and risks if you talk about your own “adventures,” what you did well and what went wrong. You can teach them to think for themselves, develop curiosity and confidence as they build resilience. Help them to explore and learn for themselves. Let them get some bruises, stings, and scraped knees. You will not always be there for them as they grow older. Help them learn to take care of themselves. They are everyday explorers if you let them.
The website familyadventureproject.org/kids-need-adventure-parents-need–to-teach-them-how/ is a great resource for families. “10 Life Lessons from 10 Years of Adventure with Kids” gives advice for facing the challenges of taking your children into a natural learning environment, how to keep you and your children in shape as you adventure, how to enjoy each other and create memories, and more.

Awesome and Equal
Give children mirrors to see themselves and windows to see others. If children can see how wonderfully made they are and can be taught to recognize their own strengths and weaknesses, they may be able to see these traits in others.
The earth is the mother of all people, and all people should have equal rights upon it. Chief Joseph
Parents need to help children see the value of all their peers and classmates. Every child can learn and help each other succeed. Every child should feel like they belong in the group, whether it is school, play or sports. Every child should be given the opportunity to use his ability and talent to grow, improve and strengthen the group.
Children can be taught to respect diverse viewpoints. Everyone can succeed regardless of their original circumstances. Where you are born does not determine your place in life or the direction you travel to achieve your goals. Parents are the key in helping children understand. Parents can teach about unfairness if they model fairness in their own lives.
My father worked as a security guard. He recognized each person who came through the gates of the factory as his equal whether they were the office staff, warehouse workers, or truck drivers, giving us, his children, a good example.
Do not call for black power or green power. Call for brain power. Barbara Jordan
Children can be taught about people outside of their immediate family not as different but as equal. Books that help parents with this task can be found on www.bookriot.com. Reading about children of other races and color helps children value diversity. Books such as It’s Okay to be Different by Todd Parr head this list of books. Same, Same, But Different introduces children as pen pals living in different countries and shows how children can write to each other to celebrate their differences. Drawn Together by Minh Le shows a young boy and his grandfather who find a common language through art.
If we were to select the most intelligent, imaginative, energetic, and emotionally stable third of mankind, all races would be present. Franz Boas

Happy Handwriting Foundation for Happy Kids
Our handwriting and our children’s handwriting tell much about us. It begins with the little scribbles as your children model what they see you doing as you write your grocery list or reminders. Cursive handwriting can tell your personality, state of mind, traumatic events, hand-eye coordination, and even bone structure in the way you hold your pen or pencil.
Children who handwrite are better, more creative writers when they master handwriting as an automatic and comfortable skill. (learningwithouttears.com) They can write with speed and ease in all subjects and are able to generate more ideas. Handwriting promotes increased activity in the writing and reading areas in the brain. Handwriting helps in overall literacy development.
I like the process of pencil and paper as opposed to a machine. I think the writing is better when it’s done in handwriting. Nelson DeMille
Modern technology forces children to type, thus lessening penmanship skills. Young children need to write and sound the letters as they print. First, they need to hold their pencils correctly. With their index finger and thumb, they should hold the pencil against their middle finger.
Switching to keyboarding before children have developed handwriting skills may reduce their ability to recognize letters. Edutopia.com
Once children have learned to print their letters and write words, they can copy poems as one way to practice. Becky at www.thisreadingmama.com/poetry-copywork-pages) has copywork pages for younger children to practice reading comprehension, visualization, rhyming and fluency in reading. Copying longer poems gives older children practice in figurative language and making inferences (describing something without telling exactly what it is) as well as in reading comprehension and fluency.
There are other ways to help your children practice their handwriting also. They can write items you need to shop for. They can write reminders to you and for you to put on your refrigerator or family bulletin board. They can write thank you notes to teachers, relatives, community helpers and friends. Like my daughters, they can write their feelings to you when you are too busy to listen to them.
Handwriting is a useful skill when your children do not have a computer or iPad in their hands.

CC for Reluctant Readers
  A rapidly growing number of children, from preschool to grade school have improved their reading and listening comprehension, word recognition and vocabulary by using closed captioning during their TV viewing. Tm McMahon
Closed captioning enables viewers to read the words spoken on a TV show as they are displayed on the screen. Closed captioning is available not only on TV, but on computer screens also. It is frequently used as a choice for YouTube videos.
This is a multisensory approach to reading comprehension that has been found beneficial to children struggling to read as much as to adults struggling to hear. It is a method that may work with slow or reluctant readers because they can hear the words, see the words as captions and experience the meaning of the words by watching the action on the screen.
Because of their living in a three-generation household, one mother felt that her kindergarten child had developed excellent reading habits as a result of their use of captioned television.
Even toddlers can be introduced to the concept of print by seeing videos and TV that is closed captioned. Foundational reading skills, such as phonics, word recognition and fluency are enhanced for beginning readers when closed captioning is turned on for TV and videos. Growing readers with closed captioning is entertaining and children grasp the meaning of words used intuitively.
Some captions might even be in Spanish which would be helpful to those learning English as a second language as well as those seeking to learn useful Spanish.
Closed captioning was first used on PBS for their children’s show “3-2-1-Contact.” Now, it is available for viewing Sesame Street which is the longest running captioned children’s program.
Sometimes the captioning may move too rapidly across the screen or be a distraction to some viewers but if closed captioning is left on, eventually adults and children will become accustomed to the rhythm of the movement of words. The picture on the TV is helpful to all attempting to read the words and provides valuable clues to the meaning of words and emotions of those speaking or moving in the picture.
Another innovative resource for your reluctant readers is through audiobooks.  www.learningally.org provides human-read audiobooks to build stronger reading habits—reading stamina and fluency, strengthen comprehension, critical thinking and vocabulary. Learning Ally provides a new level of access to knowledge.
Reading skills to be developed through closed captioning and audiobooks are reading speed and fluency, word recognition and knowledge, decoding, vocabulary, reading comprehension and the rate and expression of oral reading.
Why not take advantage of these wonderful learning tools?

Help Your Children be Above Average
Keep your feet on the ground, but let your heart soar as high as it will. Refuse to be average. Arthur Helps
When you love your children, you want the best for them. Mediocrity has become accepted as the norm and people who have tried to excel in any endeavor have been looked upon as odd or pushy. (Florence Littauer in her book It Takes so Little to be Above Average.) No wonder our children are sometimes not even working up to their potential. They are so susceptible to others’ opinions.
When they are home learning with you on their computers or iPads, you have a super chance to continue to help them become their best, not worry about the opinions of others.
  The hardest struggle of all is to be something different from what the average man is. Robert H. Schuller
You can push them or encourage them, but you can also motivate them. You can help them set goals for their learning. The goal need not be difficult. Start with small steps and increase as their knowledge grows. It may be as simple as writing a sentence correctly with the right spelling and punctuation or memorizing their times tables.
Successful students are not afraid of hard work. They attempt to do their best in all things. They question, then research more to answer their questions. They seek challenges and take risks. They put above average effort in whatever they choose. They think before they choose. They consider all sides.
Plant the seeds of learning in your children by showing them how to do things and then letting them try on their own. Provide them with books instead of video games. Be sure they have a globe, an atlas, a dictionary, and a thesaurus. Teach them mindfulness, to keep their attention on the present task. If their mind or attention seems to wander or they get antsy on their computers, give them a short break.
If you model being curious about how things happen and how they work, your children will follow. Before you open your mouth, children can sense your attitude. If you have a good attitude toward learning, it will go a long way in motivating your children to learn. A little imagination and thinking aloud can show them how attractive learning anything can be. Watch that they have secured the basic skills needed to learn. Without the proper tools, they cannot do the job. Follow through and practice, practice, practice.
In play, a child is always above his average age, above his daily behavior; in play, it is as though he were a head taller    than himself. Lev Vygotsky
If children are above average in how the play, help them to be above average in how they learn. Encourage them to aim high, to prepare for the future even if they cannot see the target.
Use their time, and yours, to find a better way by learning all they can now to become the leaders of tomorrow.

Staying Cool during the Holidays
Are your children disrespectful, rude and annoying no matter how much you try to please them, especially now during the pandemic? You as parents can help them learn to manage their emotions. The sooner you begin, the more effective your strategies will be.
It is too easy for your children to get under your skin when you yourself are stressed. Accept things as they are. Be sure you breathe. With each breath, inhale deeply. You will feel more centered and calm. Take a walk. Many times our brains and bodies sense our need for quiet and release.
Your children may be disappointed that you cannot give them all they want for Christmas this year. You cannot protect your children from their disappointment and pain if they don't get what they want. Talk to your children ahead of time about accepting what presents they get for what they are--gifts made or given with love.
We take too many things for granted, rather than being grateful for each little thing shared with us. Teach your children acceptance and gratitude.
Be kind to yourself, your children, and all you meet and greet. After all, isn't that the real reason for the holiday season?

New Classmates for Virtual Learners
Are your children feeling increasingly isolated due to their online attempts to learn? Do they seem more tired than usual? Maybe they are experiencing “ZOOM fatigue.”
Taking a break from watching their computers or iPads is a necessity. If you find your children’s attention wandering, you owe it to your children to let their online teacher know so she/he can arrange movement or snack breaks. Your children’s brains will work much better after a short break even to tend to or play with their pet.
You might even try pets as classmates or learning partners. They make good listeners and are non-judgmental. They show their appreciation for your children’s learning by just being there. Children can stumble through a passage they are trying to read or facts they are trying to remember, and their pets remain consistent listeners. Children will bond with the animal they are reading or reciting to and be motivated to visit that animal over and over again.
Reading to an animal can significantly impact students’ reading rates. Research shows that when reading to pets children achieve higher end-of-year reading scores, and improve reading rates, accuracy, fluency, and comprehension. They also are better able to stay on task when a furry, feathered, or scaled companion is involved. (We Are All Ears: Pet Partners and Elanco).
It is not just reading to their pets, but even reciting math facts or rules to them gives your children much needed practice and confidence.
To give your children this opportunity, you will need to set up a comfortable spot for your children and their pets to be. Watch to be sure the children even show the pictures to their pets if they choose to read a book. They may even clap their hands or gently tap their pets as they recite the facts they need to learn. Encourage your children to pause and pet their animal to keep them settled down and comfortable with your children’s voice. You might even have a treat or favorite pet toy nearby to keep the pet engaged if needed. Be sure to reward your children and their pets for their good behavior during this time.
You as a family might even help your children set learning goals by reading or reciting to their pets. They may need to learn to spell some new words or know their 7x tables by the end of a week.
You might even combine art with your children’s learning, keeping a record or log of what they need to learn for their grade level, making bookmarks for reading books to their pets or to which pet they recite their math facts. Maybe they can design a logo for their pets and imprint it with fabric paints on a bandana for their pet or a tee shirt for themselves.
When children read or recite to their pets (even stuffed animals), they have a learning partner or classmate every day of the week.

Still Have Struggling Learners?
What seems natural to us may not be to struggling learners. They need step-by-step teaching to be successful in their efforts to learn. If a step or skill is missing in their reading or math, they may be discouraged or “lost” in their understanding of how these work. Struggling learners of any age may feel defeated and frustrated. They may have difficulty processing the necessary skills. They may have experienced a physical injury, sickness, or trauma that has kept them from understanding. There may be problems in their family, or their family does not know how to encourage or motivate them to learn.
  Children need experience, patience and knowledge given in certain ways to help them learn. Becky Spence (www.thisreadingmama.com) suggests the following procedures:
Explicit teaching. Children need to be taught exactly what they need to learn. They need you or their teacher to tell them what you want them to learn. If it is how many syllables in a word, you must show them by counting or clapping the sound units that make syllables.
Systematic teaching. Children need to build their knowledge about words or numbers one step at a time. Each new lesson or skill must follow an earlier one.  They must know what numbers stand for before they can add or multiply.
Multisensory teaching. Children need to hear the lesson, see it, and even feel it to help them remember.  Struggling learners need to see the information in different ways. They need to process it in the way that works for them. Seeing it as they hear it, writing it as they see models may help some children. Even moving or dancing to the multiplication tables may help them memorize these facts for easier computing in their future.
Tell me I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn. Benjamin Franklin
Consistent teaching. The skill the children are trying to learn happens the same way in most situations. Give children many opportunities to practice until it sinks in. Say those multiplication facts everywhere you go in the car.
  Do not let your struggling learners give up. Keep trying until they get it. For some children this may take many repetitions.

A Happy Meal for Your Family
Sharing a meal together should be an enjoyable time for you and your children, especially now when even school is upsetting. A meal that you can prepare and serve at home with the help of your children gives you satisfaction, valuable time together and time to share and get to know one another. Plan your meals ahead of time even with your children.
Alisha (yourkid’stable.com) offers some guidelines to make your meals a welcome addition to your family schedule.
Create a No Phone Zone. No phones, tablets, TV or other screens are to be allowed at the table. Make or purchase an attractive basket in which to park your tech at mealtime after you have turned off your screens. Neither Dad, Mom, or other family members are to answer phones while your family is eating.
Set the table. Having your children help you set the table not only teaches them placement of plates, silverware, glasses and napkins, but to pause other activities for time to eat.
Turn on the music. You might choose soft music to play in the background while you are eating. Maybe some piano or jazz would be better choices than rap or hip-hop. You could even use the beginning of the music as a signal to your family that their meal is ready. Music that is pleasant to listen to may keep your children calm and ready to sit at the table a little longer.
Sing a song or give thanks. This is also a ritual that should be consistent. Your children will associate this with the beginning of their meal and will make the transition from their previous activity easier. My grandson had become accustomed to beginning his meal at home with a little verse - “God is great. God is good. Now we thank him for our food. Amen.” Even though we were having a family meal at a restaurant, we all had to say this before we could eat.
Pass the potatoes. Allow your children to serve themselves from pots or serving dishes. This gives them the feeling of control and encourages them to try a “little” of each food served.
Start a conversation. Encourage each of your children to share by asking “What would you rather do...?” questions. Would you rather fly or become invisible? Talking about school-age children’s “highs and lows” of the day might also be a choice. This also reinforces the community aspect of sharing and eating together.
It's important to be consistent in establishing meals as family time so they become a habit that all your family looks forward to, especially now when an anchor is needed. Be patient and keep trying.

Summer Writing to Grow Creativity
Creativity is the central element that sets humans apart from other forms of life on earth. Dr. Kenneth Robinson
One of the most important jobs of parents as a summer teacher is to create an environment that nurtures creativity, innovativeness, perseverance and true grit without the restrictions of time and scheduling that the school year provides. Children should be free to explore their environment within secure boundaries and that is, within their own family.
By writing their thoughts and memories down, children will remember and be able to recall them later as they are asked to write for assignments in school.
Children should grow in creativity and be able to use it in their writing. Writing their reaction or thoughts to activities they participate in this summer and/or recording their actions in a journal or diary keeps their spelling and vocabulary as useful learning tools. Children can write reminder notes for you and themselves. Writing notes to send to friends and cousins brings joy to both the sender and the receiver.
Besides, handwriting is good for their developing brains. Handwriting helps children focus and uses both their left and right brain. It calms and centers their mind and builds their literacy skills as they write down and react to books they are reading this summer. By writing them down, they may discover a favorite author. They may not agree with the ending of the books they are reading. Using their writing ability, they can predict or change the ending to one more satisfactory for them. They might even write a play based on a book.
Writing down non-fiction books they read leads them to other books on the same subject for them to learn more or compare the information they need to grow their knowledge of a subject that interests them.
Handwriting is a valuable skill for children and should be grown along with keyboarding skills.

Goin' on a Scavenger Hunt!
Have you ever had the opportunity to go on a scavenger hunt? Did you like the challenge of finding different objects? Did you go alone or with friends?
A scavenger hunt is a game in which organizers prepare a list of specific items for one or more persons to find, not buy. The person or group who finds all the items first is the winner.
In the summer heat, many parents may be wondering what they can do to keep their children occupied (instead of video games) when children must be inside much of the time. When the children finish their chores, try a scavenger hunt!
www.fatherly.com/play/activities/scavengerhuntclues/ has “64 Scavenger Hunt Clues to Keep Kids Busy in Quarantine.” Some ideas on this site are something you can use to carry things, something soft (or hard), something that smells good (or bad), something spiky or something you can see through (or not see through).
goodhousekeeping.com has “22 Fun Scavenger Hunt Ideas to Keep Your Kids Guessing.” Some of these are Stay-at-Home Scavenger Hunt, Things-I-Love Scavenger Hunt, Secret Code Scavenger Hunt (for siblings to work together). Scavenger hunts can be outdoors also; art or flashlight scavenger hunts may provide challenge and entertainment.
Scavenger hunts (also called treasure hunts) should be a workout for the brain with hints that require some thinking (www.thespruce.com) Rhyming ideas or riddles provide time to figure out what the object is. “I have four legs, but I don’t have feet. I come in handy when it’s time to eat.” or “I’m filled with feathers or other soft fluff. To sleep without me can be quite tough.” Such objects can easily be brought for confirmation of the actual object. There are 28 more rhymes for you to consider if you can’t think of ones on your own. This website also suggests scavenger ideas for tweens and sleepovers.
Scavenger hunts give parents or an older sibling a chance to be creative. These games also give the parents time to do their own work or have some quiet time. Children can find these things mostly on their own and develop their problem-solving skills while they figure out what they need to find.. You may need to give an incentive, like extra screen time, if they are the first to find all the objects.

Help Your Children Learn Conflict Resolution
Parents, are you tired of your children’s constant arguments and fighting? Are you tired being in the middle of your children’s disagreements? Then, it is time for you to help your children learn how to handle their own problems. You will need to work with them—maybe one step at a time, but with patience and perseverance, you and your children can learn ways to settle differences to everyone’s satisfaction. You CAN have a peaceful home.
We must teach our children how to resolve their differences with others so their life will be fulfilling and harmonious. education.gov.gy
This quote is from the nation of Guyana in Africa which shows that this problem is universal. It must be worthwhile to take the time to teach children “conflict resolution” for their own good and that of their future.
Steps suggested by the above website include identifying the problem and taking time to calm everyone down through strategies such as controlling breathing, tense and relaxing muscles, and giving each one time to think. You may even have thought of other ways to calm your children down. Punishment does not work.
Interestingly, your posture has something to do with how you negotiate with your children. If you stand above them, you take power from your children. Sit down in a low chair or on the floor, kneel or squat down so you are on the same level as your children.
It is important that you give each child time to explain the conflict without any interruptions. Here, you need to be the mediator. Each child should have the time to explain their feelings-- ”I feel … when...” Again, no one may interrupt while each child explains their feelings.
Then, you can explain in your own words what you think the problem is. In this way, you show your understanding. Ask for ideas to solve their problem, but you do not give your opinion. Your children probably would not accept your ideas anyway. Let your children figure out or suggest what might work. Talk with them about the conflict and how it happened and how they think it can be fixed. Talk about whether it is a “little deal or a big deal.” Is it something that must be settled right now, or can it wait? You might even caution your children that they may not say anything hurtful to the other person. One of the ways you can help your children practice this action might be to say those things to themselves in front of a mirror and watch their own facial expression. This may give them a clue to another’s feelings.
Lastly, take action. Ideally, a win-win situation where both are satisfied is the best, but maybe one of the children needs to walk away. You may need to stay to smooth the bumps, but you have helped your children learn kindness rather than just satisfying their own needs and desires.
Peace is not absence of conflict; it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means. Ronald Reagan

Keep Your Kids Moving
During this pandemic, you are facing many challenges. If you are lucky enough to have a Chromebook or iPad, hopefully your children's teachers are helping you with lessons to continue their academic learning. On websites such as www.themeasuredmom.com, Anna has paperless resources for your young learners. She has games and activities for simple patterns, rhyming, vowels, blends, math concepts and reading comprehension. Just because summer vacation will start soon, you are still responsible for your children's progress. Why not continue to guide your children's learning--keeping them growing and developing necessary skills. Reading and math facts that you continue to develop with your children will only benefit them greatly in the future.
The less time it will take them to figure out math problems because the math facts are automatic for them, the easier their math questions will become. Anthony (www.mashedupmath.com provides some interesting and fun math challenges for all ages.
The more they read anything, the more they will develop their speed, fluency and understanding of what they read. Their enjoyment will increase with confidence as the practice their reading skill.

Help for Parents Through Websites
There are many situations that challenge parents as their children strike out into more diversified learning even before they are ready to do so.
Problems arise when your children may not be eating correctly. www.yourkid'stable.com gives you clues why your children seem sensitive to foods you want them to eat and foods you know will help them grow and survive.
On her website www.positiveparentingsolutions.com, Amy gives you the tools to get your kids to listen without nagging, yelling or losing control.
Your children still do not know their multiplication tables or understand their math? Maybe Bethany on her website www.mathgeekmama.com can help. Anthony on www.mashedupmath.com may also give you good ideas for helping your children know and love math.
www.understood.org gives you tools and support for your children with learning differences. Besides a lot of patience with your children having these kinds of difficulties, this website gives you the expertise and resources for working with your children. Seth at www.sethperler.com can also help.
Erika (www.whatdowedoallday.com) provides books, lists and activities to help you grow voracious readers and creative, independent thinkers.
You may find even more sites to help you help your children at home on the internet. These are just a few that I have found helpful.

Teach Patience to Keep Peace
Teaching children patience at this age is to teach them self control. They can control their emotions and feelings by themselves. When they are angry, upset or tired, they can be obnoxious. The first thing you must do is calm them down. Have them take deep breaths and count to ten. You must get them to be calm or they will think that by throwing a tantrum or whining, they can get what they want. They will become manipulative, and using you in this way will become a habit.
When they are calm, restate what you think their problem is. If more than one child is involved, ask each one (without the other interrupting) to tell you their version. By just giving each child time, your children may figure out a way to settle their own problems. Do not tell them how you think they should settle their differences; they probably won't do what you suggest anyway. They must learn to solve their own problems. (See below for more details.)
Children must also learn to wait for things that matter. They must learn to wait their turn to reinforce the need to be courteous and patient. Patience is needed to delay immediate gratification.

Help Your Children Learn Conflict Resolution
Parents, are you tired of your children’s constant arguments and fighting? Are you tired being in the middle of your children’s disagreements? Then, it is time for you to help your children learn how to handle their own problems. You will need to work with them—maybe one step at a time, but with patience and perseverance, you and your children can learn ways to settle differences to everyone’s satisfaction. You CAN have a peaceful home.
  We must teach our children how to resolve their differences with others so their life will be fulfilling and harmonious.   education.gov.gy
This quote is from the nation of Guyana in Africa which shows that this problem is universal. It must be worthwhile to take the time to teach children “conflict resolution” for their own good and that of their future.
Steps suggested by the above website include identifying the problem and taking time to calm everyone down through strategies such as controlling breathing, tense and relaxing muscles, and giving each one time to think. You may even have thought of other ways to calm your children down. Punishment does not work.
Interestingly, your posture has something to do with how you negotiate with your children. If you stand above them, you take power from your children. Sit down in a low chair or on the floor, kneel or squat down so you are on the same level as your children.
It is important that you give each child time to explain the conflict without any interruptions. Here, you need to be the mediator. Each child should have the time to explain their feelings--    ”I feel … when...” Again, no one may interrupt while each child explains their feelings.
Then, you can explain in your own words what you think the problem is. In this way, you show your understanding. Ask for ideas to solve their problem, but you do not give your opinion. Your children probably would not accept your ideas anyway. Let your children figure out or suggest what might work. Talk with them about the conflict and how it happened and how they think it can be fixed. Talk about whether it is a “little deal or a big deal.” Is it something that must be settled right now, or can it wait? You might even caution your children that they may not say anything hurtful to the other person. One of the ways you can help your children practice this action might be to say those things to themselves in front of a mirror and watch their own facial expression. This may give them a clue to another’s feelings.
Lastly, take action. Ideally, a win-win situation where both are satisfied is the best, but maybe one of the children needs to walk away. You may need to stay to smooth the bumps, but you have helped your children learn kindness rather than just satisfying their own needs and desires.
Peace is not absence of conflict; it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means. Ronald Reagan

FROLICKING FUN
As the weather cools, how about helping your children to be creative inside for activities to use outside.
How about holding a Cardboard Boat Race through the streams of water left by a passing thunderstorm? Use duct tape, glue, paint and cardboard (like ready-to-discard cereal boxes) to construct boats ahead of time so children are ready to race them through the water.
Create a Paper Airplane Show. Draw to design a paper airplane. Construct it out of cardstock, newspaper, construction paper or used copy paper. Add stickers to designate each child's plane and fly them outside as the showers subside.
Encourage your children to design and model a fitness program for kids in the neighborhood. They can use pool noodles to stretch their muscles and roll beach balls or any balls with their feet. Physical activity is great for brain-building.
Have older siblings plan a play, a talent show, a pet show, or a circus in your garage. They can write the script, plan the performance, and design costumes out of old clothes, rags, paper, duct tape, or foil. Thrift stores may be a good outlet for costumes and clothes for their shows also. (Hopefully, you have discovered such outlets by shopping for Halloween costumes.) Your children could also collect a small fee, donating it to a local charity or a sick child. Your children can learn compassion and caring by giving of their time and talent. They will also be practicing their writing, spelling and math as they devise their presentation and figure how much it will be to purchase old sheets and clothes for their performances.
By doing any of the above activities, your children are developing the 4 C's believed y educators to be necessary for future learning--creativity, critical thinking, communication and collaboration.

Answers to Your Questions -- Help for Struggling Parents
Your children are continuing to challenge you. Don't be frazzled or give up. Your children need you more than ever as they try to figure things out. They also may be lacking some necessary learning skills.
This week, I am going to keep it brief and offer you some websites that I often refer to as I write my weekly newspaper columns. These websites not only provide you with advice, but suggest activities, games, and methods you may want to use to grow or reinforce weak or missing skills, or to alter your children's behavior.
anna@themeasuredmom.com
becky@thisreadingmama.com
anthony@mashupmath.com
alexandra@biglifejournal.com
sumitha@afineparent.com
Understood -- info@email.understood.org
If you have discovered other websites, please share them (bettemroz@gmail.com). There are so many wonderful resources available now since much research is being done to find out how children learn best that was not available to parents years ago.
"The problem with being a parent is that by the time you are experienced, you are out of a job."

SELF CONTROL AIDS LEARNING
A significant skill to teach your children of all ages must be self-control. Self-control is the thinking skill that helps children learn to control their feelings and behavior in order to make good decisions, reducing impulsive actions, and dealing effectively with frustrations (learningworksforkids.com/skills/self-control/)
Children learn by imitation, too. Your children will develop more responsibility if you explain things rationally and kindly rather than yelling and screaming at them. Counting to ten or allowing time to pass before you discipline your children goes a long way toward helping them to learn self-control as they see you control your actions.
Tell your children they must practice self-control and remind them, once they know what self-control is. Support your children telling them why their present undesirable behavior does not work or is not acceptable. Give them control to fix their behavior. If you give your children the power to choose and understand what control looks like, it will develop a life-long necessity.
The more self-control children develop, the more true the fact they "become healthier, richer, less likely to be single parents, and less likely to be convicted of a crime as adults taking into account their social class and IQ."
Brookings Institute Study
The website kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/self-control.html teaches self-control by ages which might be a helpful guide for your family of different age children.

FULL STEAM AHEAD!
Do you know what STEAM stands for in your children's learning? Do you know why this acronym is so important? Do you know what you can do to help your children succeed in STEAM studies?
Parents can learn ways to help their children learn through STEAM.
STEAM stands for Science, Technology, Engineering, Art and Mathematics. These subjects are   important because 16% of the jobs in the United States between 2014 and 2024 will need the skills taught through these subject areas (leftbraincraftbrain.com)
STEAM provides an integrated approach to learning that encourages students to think more broadly about real world problems that they will need to solve. It is an approach involving two or more academic, scientific or artistic areas of study to help encourage and create innovation--new and original ways to look at problems in our present and future world.
This approach to learning helps students to ask questions, "connect dots," problem solve and think creatively.

Art has been added because it helps students create ideas through sketches or designs to
solve problems. It focuses on a process which helps drive original ideas and teaches the
power of observation of people, their surroundings, and devices used to make something
happen. It creates a "what if..." mentality. It helps to sharpen spatial awareness and math concepts like geometry.

STEAM Kids: 50+ Science/Technology/Engineering/Art/Math Hands-On Projects for Kids is a paperback book by MIT engineer Anne Carey available through Amazon that provides a year's worth of activities that will fascinate children and hopefully, prevent their boredom with education. It teaches children to "question like a scientist, design like a technologist, build like an engineer, create like an artist, and deduce like a mathematician and, most importantly, play like a kid." Such projects as color changing play dough, circuit bugs, and candy mazes encourage children ages 4-10 to explore and become enthusiastic about learning as they participate in fascinating activities. Motivation to want to know more keeps their interest and leads to further exploration.

Too often we give children the answers to remember rather than a problem to solve. Roger Lewin
https:leftbraincraftbrain.com is a website which provides a list of STEM/STEAM activities that helps to feed children's senses while they play and learn.  Pinterest also suggests many areas which challenge kids to learn through experiments, projects, and crafts. Parents can encourage children's curiosity about how things work through such activities. Children just may think up new ways to use ordinary devices and utensils to make gadgets that can be used in other ways. You may find that your child is a genius, a creative genius. This might be a fascinating discovery for parents!
https://steamklidsbooks.com suggests inexpensive ebooks, coloring books, cards and book bundles for parents to purchase.
The multiple issues that we face in the 21st Century revolve around aspects of STEM. These issues can only be resolved with a STEM-EDUCATED WORKFORCE.  Oregon State University Center for Research on Lifelong STEM Learning, 2013.

Setting Boundaries for Your Children
Trying to raise a responsible, cooperative child without age-appropriate boundaries is like trying to raise a goldfish outside its fishbowl. Marianne Neifert, M.D.
Even very young children can be taught that there are certain behaviors that are ok, while others are not. Clear directions about where and when to eat meals, bedtime on weekdays, picking up belongings and playing with an iPad are some of the most difficult to enforce, but also the most necessary. Children have a sense of belonging if you care enough to guide their behavior.
Rules are essential for children to grow. They need to understand what is expected of them and what will happen if they don't do what is expected of them. They need to know consequences will be enforced consistently. Some rules are just basic good manners; some are for their safety; some are for order and smooth operation of families and classrooms. Clear rules also reduce power struggles and lesson friction between siblings and classmates when children know what behavior is expected of them.
Children will test, but if parents, grandparents and kid caregivers know the rules for children as well as having the children know, all can be on board to carry out the rules. All adults must be consistent in expectations. You as parents need to know your own values and principles so as to guide your children and so that other adults can recognize and understand your reasons for rules.
Too many rules or too strict rules make children rebel. Less but essential are better. Children grow confident and carry out expectations responsibly if there are fewer, but enforced, rules. Too many limits squelch exploration, discourage creativity and learning, and prevent knowing new skills.
Boundaries are to protect life, not to limit pleasures. Edwin Louis Cole
Try not to confuse your children by saying something is wrong one day and not the next. Adults must be consistent in their expectations of children, but must also be flexible. If you see your children following the rules daily and a special occasion or opportunity comes up, allow your children the chance to show their responsibility and trustworthiness and relax the rules for them to do so. You might even give your children a say in setting rules and consequences to show you value their input. This may also be a better incentive to follow rules.
Peace and order can be established with you as the adult in charge. Your children need the boundaries you provide in order to grow safely, securely and responsibly. They learn you love them and value them enough to set guidelines. Your children are not in charge. YOU ARE!
There are several websites to help you establish good rules, such as Debbie Pinkus at https://www.empoweringparents.com (adolescent and teen behavior), Marianne Neifert at https://parenting.com, and Mark Merrill at https://allprodad.com (10 ways to establish clear boundaries for children) are some I have found to be the most helpful. Allprodad is especially beneficial for dads.
Don't limit emotions, limit behavior. Andy Smithson, LMSW

ASKING QUESTIONS, GETTING ANSWERS
Soon, you will be asking your children "How was your day at school?" They will answer "Ok."You and they will go on about your busy lives, but have either of you learned anything? You learned nothing about the seven or eight hours your children have been away from you (unless something memorable has happened during their day) and they may sense that you do not really care.
How do we ask questions which invite children to share? Use open-ended questions--questions that make children think or speculate, give his or her opinion. Use "why" or "how." Do not accept "I don't know" as an answer; this is a cop-out and does not encourage your children to trust you with their thoughts.
Some suggestions for questions to ask your children when they come home from school that will provoke necessary conversation are provided here from www.parentsquare.com:
What challenged you today? What new fact did you learn today?
What did you eat for lunch? Did you like it?
Who brought the best food in their lunch from home? Did they share with you? Should I get some
  for you to share?
Did anyone do something super nice for you? What was the nicest thing you did for someone else?
Who made you smile today? What was the funniest thing that made you laugh?
Which one of your teachers would survive a zombie apocalypse? How?
If school were a ride at the fair, which ride would it be? Why do you think so?
How would you rate your day on a scale of 1 to 10? Why?
  Some of these questions may sound silly, but even laughing together becomes a bond. Don't let another child laugh at or put down those who answer. The thoughts expressed by another may be far from what WE think, but each thought expressed by another promotes ideas and encouragement to learn more. You can model how to ask questions in order to get answers by asking your children questions. You as a parent enhance their learning. Too often, even we as adults, fail to ask questions and make mistakes as a result. Parents must grow children's ability and confidence to ask questions, to help them find answers to clarify concepts learned and understand better.
  By teaching your children how to ask questions, you may give your children a tool to challenge things they do not understand at school and even give them the courage to contest the experimental ideas of their peers. "What happens if I do that? What are the consequences?" Asking such questions may save them harmful missteps in their future.
  The art and science of asking questions is the source of all knowledge. Thomas Berger
  You might even encourage your children to ask you questions. When you don't know the answer, reply
"I'm not sure. Let's find out together." This is a good use for your iPad or computer.
Check the website changing minds.org/techniques for more ideas.

Children Reading Too Slowly?
On the website www.understood.com, several reasons are given for your children reading too slowly to get meaning from what they read. Sometimes, children, even though they are smart and really not having trouble with reading, may be trying out new reading strategies suggested by their teachers and they are just practicing. They may want to have more time to think about what they are reading, especially children with active imaginations.
Sometimes, children who read slowly need extra help, specially with figuring out new or difficult words--words they cannot pronounce or have never heard before. They may have trouble remembering words--holding them in their working memory.
Children may be reading books or passages that are too hard for them. A website www.learningally.com suggests audio books read by a human voice as a help to such children. Listening to someone reading the book to them will help them understand and gain the confidence they need to know they can read. Of course, you can read the book with them also.
They may be perfectionists and anxious about their reading, afraid they will make a mistake and want to be sure they know what they are reading about. Perhaps, your children have trouble staying focused. They may be distracted by sights or sounds, or just daydreaming.
Some children may have a hard time processing and understanding language. They may need extra help to become stronger readers.
Let your children choose their own books for leisure reading, even if the books are easy for them. You can encourage them to just read, not criticizing their choices or allowing siblings to tease them about their choices. Reading is a skill that takes practice.
Talk to your children's teachers to see if they have noticed how slowly your children read and ask for suggestions of what you can do to help them. With time, your patience and help, they can improve their reading.

OUR CHILDREN'S CHALLENGES
Your children face many challenges in their lives. Do you know your children well enough to know what their challenges are? Are they afraid of certain things? Talk about their fears and don't belittle the fear as a way of forcing your children to not be afraid. Teach your children--5 to 15--to rate their fear's intensity on a scale of 1-10. Especially help your older children to use this method before a big test, project, or presentation. Teach them to relax and take deep breaths. Continue to talk to your children at this time and YOU--stay calm and confident. This will help your children to do so. Teach them positive self-statements ("I can do this. I am ok.") even if they need to say them many times, over and over, to convince themselves.
If your children are challenging you about chores this summer, make sure the chore is age appropriate and skill appropriate for your children, suggests Dr. David Palmer on hectic parents.com. Make it clear what you expect. "Clean your room" may not mean the same thing to you and your children. Write down on an index card what you think a clean room looks like so you are on the same wavelength. Question their understanding of your expectations as you make eye contact with them. Give your child the opportunity to control parts of the expected task. "When do you want to do your laundry--before or after your sister does hers?"
Challenge builds confidence--for you and your children.

More Help for Summer Teachers
How is your summer parenting coming? You are halfway through the summer as a teacher-parent. Are you having fun yet? Or are you frustrated trying to get your children away from their "screens" or using it as a baby-sitter? If this is so, such programs as ABCmouse.com (free for 30 days) or Reading Rainbow Skybrary (one month free) may help you get closer to the 2019-2020 school year through educational channels without worrying about content. The knowledge that your children are using their tablets or smart phones in a worthwhile way will help you to feel less guilty about letting them use their devices.
If you are still at a loss about what activities you can be doing together, try the websites, www.themeasuredmom.com where Anna offers you ideas and materials to reinforce the learning your younger children got in school last year. Through www.thereadingmama.com, Becky gives you more advice and ideas to reinforce your children's necessary learning. Within www.handsonaswegrow.com, Jamie offers you activities and routines for summer that will help you grow with your children by offering you countless everyday opportunities that you have not yet thought of. www.mathgeekmama.com offers you math advice with the guidance of Bethany.
Your interest and help is so necessary to your children's development in this age that shouts "entertainment" to the detriment of learning something new every day. Can you and your children continue your summer by writing in tiny notebooks something new you learned each day? Would this give you something to talk about as you share your evening meal instead of eating in front of the TV, or skipping eating together completely? Feeding your mind as you feed your body is so important, and sharing it gives all your family who participate pleasure and memories.
I constantly see people rise in life who are not the smartest, sometimes not even the most diligent, but they are learning machines. They go to bed every night a little wiser than they were when they got up... Charles Munger
Are you and your children reading this summer? Elon Musk learned how to build rockets by reading books. Bill Gates is a life-long "bookworm." Warren Buffet spends 80% of his day reading --proof that "Children who read become adults who lead." If these are the habits of highly successful people, aren't they habits you can encourage in your children? Check out series books for your elementary age children. Get them hooked on books in this manner. Such series as Hero Dog by Hilda Lysiak, Looniverse by David Lubar and Dragon Masters by Tracy West may interest your children in this age group. Read the first chapter together to get children into the book and watch them devour the rest. Put patriotic books on your list so children know the "why" of the 4th of July.
You may have only 10 or 12 more summers with your children. Make them memorable and joyful for you all.

READING FOR UNDERSTANDING
     Reading is a chore for many children, seemingly impossible for some. Maybe they do not know how to decipher words. Maybe they do not know what the words are. Maybe they do not know what the words mean. Then, parents and teachers cannot expect them to know how to read, read well, or write. If word recognition is challenging to your children, maybe they use so much time processing individual words that it interferes with their ability to understand what they read. Reading (and writing) are more than just words, just pronouncing words. They are the conveyors of ideas, thoughts. Every word has a value of its own and a meaning that is unique. Many times as a writer, I spend time searching for just the right word, sometimes even needing to go to the dictionary several times to find exactly the word that will deliver the idea I am trying to share with you. Knowing what individual words mean determines knowing what a passage means.
     Reading comprehension involves concentration and the ability to connect words with ideas. I encourage you to help your children pay attention, to erase everything from their minds so as to give their full attention to what you say, what their teacher says, what they do, what they read. Please take time to talk to your children and urge them to question what they did not understand. Nurture their curiosity by your wondering aloud why things are and asking your children what they know. You can foster your children’s ability to understand what they read.
     There are many “strategies” for growing comprehension. Much research has been done since the 1980’s trying to find the best way to teach comprehension as a necessary skill. Children must understand why they are reading something. Is it for information? Is it to help them know what it is like to be blind or disabled? Is it to make them feel better after you have had a traumatic happening in their lives? Is it to give smiles and promote giggles? A good writer writes to help readers feel the emotions of the characters they create. Another way to assist understanding, especially text books, is to look over the material to be read. Are there words that your children do not know or have never seen before? Can your children read the headlines, or titles of each section understanding what just those few words mean? Is there something you have talked about at home, or in school that they have already experienced to which they can tie this new information? What questions might you ask, or can they ask themselves that will urge them to want to know more? When they have finished reading a section, can they tell you in their own words what they have read? Maybe they can even write a short summary for themselves or to share
      If you need more information, try this website: ehow.com/how_2089129_comprehend-reading.html. It is ehow for moms.

BUSY SUMMER
Are you and your children busy enough this summer? Are your children attending summer school for fun? Are your children enjoying their reading challenges at the Public Library?
Get details about free bowling at KidsBowlFree.com. Home Depot and Lowe's have how-to-workshops for kids who like to use their hands and simple tools.
For you who might be traveling with your children, check out how-its-made tours at FactoryToursUSA.com.  TakeMeFishing.org lists free-fishing days when licenses are not required--with many dates in June. Maybe take Dad fishing for Father's Day.
Help your children learn about the states you travel through as you plan your vacation and be sure to let your children help you find interesting places to visit on the way. They can use their iPad or even check books out of the library to find more information that will help them enjoy the places you visit. When you stop to visit these places, leave digital devices in the trunk until you return. Then put the things they remember on their device as a journal to benefit their memory and writing.
If you are having a Stay-ca-tion, several movie chains offer $1 tickets or free movies for kids. City parks may offer free movies in the evenings as it gets cooler, or even free concerts for your family to listen and enjoy.
For your children who miss science activities, there are websites--ScienceBuddies.org or  Scienceandmath.com for creative at-home projects.
Jamie at handsonaswegrow.com has ideas for your children to learn as they move. You will find such ideas as "How to Rock Reading This Summer with Audiobooks," and "Irresistible Ideas for Play-Based Learning." Jamie also challenges you with her activities. Her 7-day-challenge can be used any week this summer. Just sign up at http://handsonaswegrow.com/7-day-challenge. She even offers a list of practical supplies you may need for each day's challenge. Although this challenge is offered for young children, your older children or babysitter can do the activities with your younger children in your absence.
Anna of themeasuredmom.com has creative activities for quiet moments so children continue learning reading, writing and math this summer. Anna provides pre-reading activities, reading games, counting mats and more. She also lists audiobooks for your family.
Pinterest also offers a wealth of ideas under search word "education."
Cooking together is always a good summer activity, especially as you half the ingredients or double them to make more.

TEACHING TRUTH
To have honest children, you need to be an honest parent. Help your children know they can trust you to tell them the truth so they learn what truth is.
Children lie to test limits as part of growing up. They like to check what they can get away with. They may lie to impress their friends, even their teachers. They may not tell you the truth about having homework. (Trust, but verify.) You can give them homework or check with their friends. Hopefully, they have made honest friends. Friends who lie give them a bad example and call for a conversation about choosing friends.
Children lie to get out of trouble. Sometimes, they lie to protect their siblings or friends. When they are given something they don't like, tell them to find something positive to say instead of lying about liking it. "I like that color, Grandma." If we praise children for being honest, it will build their self-concepts and reinforce positive behavior. (www.imom.com) There must be consequences for their actions, but not enforced with anger. Respectful, fair punishment reinforces the need for honesty and lying as unacceptable.
Some ideas for teaching honesty are
1) Talk about how lying causes loss of trust and can harm relationships. A basic part of teaching honesty to children is to tell them you expect the truth. Teach them how important it is to be able to trust and count on each other.
2) Use the opportunity to show children the primary goal is to teach, not punish, that honesty is valued in your family daily.
3) Recognize and talk about dishonesty with the hope of raising children to be adults who are honest avoiding malicious deception as true con artists.
Teach children about the value and importance of honesty early, teaching them how to resolve situations so they don't need to rely on lying to save face .
There are few things we are more emotionally involved in than our children. We don't want to see their dishonesty because it goes against our view of what we want our kids to be. To be trusted and honorable is an enviable trait.

Children who have an established relationship with their parents, where they feel comfortable talking and disclosing information, are more likely to tell the truth. But also realize that your children are not always going to tell you the truth. Taking a moment to think about why they are lying should help you respond to their lies appropriately.
Dr. Veronica Telwar, Department of Educational and Counseling Psychology, McGill University, Montreal, Canada.

Keep Your Children Growing in Learning

Parents need to keep learning also. Basic education does not change, but emphasis on certain topics and subjects does. Methods for teaching keep improving so that even the teacher with few tips in her bag can learn many more to improve her teaching. Parents need to be aware of educational terminology changing, too. Do you know what SPA and STEM mean? SPA is Standards, Performance and Assessments. These terms are used to help educators know what must be taught, how they are going to teach and how the children’s learning is going to be measured to be sure students have the foundation for future learning. STEM is the Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics emphasis needed in our current education to prepare students for excelling in these fields. Students need to be encouraged through more intimate contact with the exciting learning that is available through these areas by encouraging interest, thought, problem-solving and research. Our current society stresses specialization.
However, if children do not know how to read, do basic math, write and converse in more than the symbols they text, they will be hampered in communicating what they are learning. A basic education still needs to be the foundation upon which later elementary school, middle school and high school take place. You as parents are as responsible as your children’s teachers to see that that foundation stands firm. It takes practice, review, and discipline at home.
According to a USA WEEKEND essay by Michael Wolff, three billion hours a week are spent playing video games. If these games are helping your children learn, review or practice, they are valuable. With only 24 hours in a day, it is not possible to cover daily living necessities and responsibilities while engrossed in addictive entertainment.
Limiting technology for entertainment will help give your children time to grow in their learning. Set a good example for your children by managing your time efficiently and taking breaks from technology. Give yourself time to grow in your learning also.

Consequences
     Your children will test you. You need to be ready for their actions, good and not so good, by preparing a list of consequences and rewards that are realistic to the children's development levels. This will give you a roadmap for how to deal with the challenges your children present through the summer. Think of small consequences for small infractions, and larger consequences for more damaging acts. Consequences should be task-oriented, rather than time-oriented. If the consequences are too short, your children will fail to learn from them. You will find it necessary to enforce these consequences again and again. If the consequences are too long, they may become a power struggle with your children, or not consistently followed. Grounding children or taking their cell phones away teaches them to "do time" rather than learning from their mistakes. The consequences your children receive determines whether they will repeat that behavior. If you give consequences they can learn from rather than punishment, they may learn more quickly and without resentment. Consequences need to be consistent (the hard part) rather than inflicted as punishment.
     Consequences are something children need to understand, or consider before they act. Too many times, children fail to see beyond what they feel like doing. They fail to see the consequences--acceptance of the results of their actions, the suffering they may endure or cause others to endure, the burden imposed by what they have done.
     The best consequences are those from which your children can learn. Too quickly, parents punish after the action rather than discussing the consequences before. If children have structure and limits imposed and frequently reviewed and reinforced by their parents, they will learn there are rewards and consequences in their lives. They will learn that they can determine the results by what they choose to do.
     Children do best when they receive immediate feedback for their behavior. Notice good behavior and give your children well-deserved praise and the attention they crave. Ignore mild misbehavior as a negative consequence or children will keep doing that to get your attention. If your child is a picky eater, you do not need to beg him to eat, or he will continue to be a picky eater. If he gets hungry enough, he will try other foods.
     What do you as a parent want to accomplish? What do you want your children to learn by experiencing these consequences?
     This is the time to put Facebook, your favorite video game, your cell phone and tablet aside and plan for the summer with your children. Having a family meeting to discuss expectations, rewards and punishment, posting a list on the refrigerator of expectations and consequences for their actions and being consistent in enforcing them will provide your family with a more peaceful summer.
     For more excellent suggestions to guide your children, see the websites www.empoweringparents.com/consequences and www.imom.com/21-creative-consequences/.

ANALOG CLOCKS TO HELP WITH MATH
Do you have an analog clock in your home? An analog clock is one that is in a circle with the numbers 1-12 starting to the right of the clock face. Do you know how good an analog clock is for your children? Although such a clock may seem "old fashioned" to you in our digital age, an analog clock is still quite valuable.
What can parents or grandparents do with an analog clock? Since "reading" an analog clock is good for the brain and even better for the mind and since it is only with practice that this awesome mental feat comes to feel easy (https://the guardian.com), learning how to read an analog clock at home is a good thing.
Using an analog clock can help children know how much time they have to complete a task, such as eating breakfast before the bus comes, or playing their game before it is time to eat. Telling your children a story before bed can take place when the little hand is on the 8 and the big hand is on 12. Digital does not show time left or the time needed to begin or complete a task. An analog represents the passage of time.
If there is only a short hand on a clock, it shows the hours and helps to estimate the time by the hour. When the long hand is added, it helps to refine that estimate and gives a more precise time.
If there is only a short hand on a clock, it shows the hours and helps to estimate the time by the hour. When the long hand is added, it helps to refine that estimate and gives a more precise time.
There are other math skills that an analog clock can teach such as recognizing the numbers 1 through 12, counting to 60, and counting by five's--seeing each number as a multiple of 5.
An analog clock can also teach children about fractions. Fractions as parts of a whole can be seen on the clock. When the time is 3:15, the long hand is 1/4 of the way around the clock. When it is 3:30, the view is 1/2 the way around the clock circle or 1/2 past the hour. 3:45 is also 3/4 of the way around the clock. Elapsed time is also easier to see on an analog clock. 1 1/4 hour is one loop around the clock and 1/4 around again where the long hand is on the number 3 (counting by 5s--5 #1, 10 #2, 15 minutes #3) or 1/4 hour.
Addition and subtraction can be taught using an analog clock. https://math is fun.com/time-add-subtract.html shows exactly how these skills can be developed.
Games can also be fun for the whole family to compare analog time and digital time. www.eeboo.com has a "Time Telling" game for $19.95. To develop telling time, matching, concentration, memory, motor skills, coordination, following instructions, taking turns and good sportsmanship is the aim of "Zingo" Time Telling," a game from www. thinkfun.com ($19.95 on Amazon).

Play Games to Make Math Lasting
   You don't have to be a mathematician to have a feel for numbers.  John Forbes Nash, Jr.
Math is a challenge, but then, so is learning anything. There is little excuse for not learning math. Math is everywhere in our daily lives. Numbers stand for amounts, distance, measurements, cooking ingredients, even the weight of your children and their pets. Parents may still be trying to understand math and maybe, by having children, another opportunity is given for you to learn math in a different, more lasting way.
There are games parents and older siblings can play with children to help all learn and review math facts.
Dice are portable and easy to take any where. Dice games are satisfying and fun, and cheap. Children can learn to add, subtract and multiply playing with dice. Using the number of dots on two dice to count (for very young children) and to add, multiply and subtract is a quick mental activity that can be enjoyed by everyone in the family. Websites such as https://www.mathgeekmama.com and www.activityvillage.co.uk have many ideas for you to have fun playing dice games that help your children retain their math facts.
You can also play card games with your children to help them learn math facts more quickly. "Nifty 50" and "21" are two easy card games suggested by Nancy at  https://scholastic.com/teachers/blog-posts/nancy-jang/2017/3-math-games-with-playing-cards/. Any card game that allows children to add or subtract the numbers on two cards helps children get necessary math facts stuck in their brains.
There are games to help you and your children learn math that you can purchase on Amazon. "Sum Swap Game" by Learning Resources helps children learn math language. "Tiny Polka Dot" by Math for Love has multiple uses for helping children. "Quixx" is a quick and fun dice game for all ages. There are games to be played on your computer and phones.
Math requires time and patience to master. https://www.goconquer.com
Albert Einstein said, "It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer." Be like Albert Einstein.

Consultation With the Teacher
This is the correct term. Like you consult a banker to determine the best use of your money or a doctor to determine the best way to live a healthier life, it is time to consult the professional on the learning health of your children. Most parents are interested in seeing their children succeed. Your children's teachers share what they have learned in the short time they have had your children in their class. You have had your children in your "class" so much longer. Think of your being the expert and the teacher being your consultant. Too many times we determine the teacher as knowing more about our children than we know. It is the time to share what you know about your children in order for the teacher to know how to proceed with your children's learning at his/her level. Attending parent/teacher conferences is important regardless of how you think your children are doing in school You and your children's teacher will share what you know about your children. You may say something that will alert the teacher to future problems and help him/her to be more observant of your child.
If you do not already know the high standards the teacher and your school expect of children, now is the time to ask. How much of their school day do children spend on screen time, music, PE, play, outside activity--with books or worksheets. You need to know your children's progress in order to help your children achieve at their highest potential. You want your children to do no less than their best. Is the teacher helping your children to do that?
If you have talked to your children and have questions for the teacher, be sure to bring them to your conference. If they have been written, it will be easier to remember to ask the teacher. Such questions as How is my child doing socially and emotionally in class? Is my child understanding the way you teach? What can I do to help? Such websites as https://www.care.com/c/stories/3264/20-questions-to-ask-during-a-parent-teacher-c/ and https://www.verywellfamily.com have suggestions if you cannot think of questions.
Students with informed and engaged parents are better about completing homework, make higher grades, are more likely to graduate and have better attitudes about school and themselves. (eSchool News)
Find out how you can be involved in your children's learning Family involvement is one of the best investments a family can make. All families can enjoy benefits from being at their children's school, and it has nothing to do with your level of income or your own education. Share your love of art, music, cooking. Share your hobby. Share your education path and how hard you needed to work to get where you are in life. Share your culture for better understanding. Share how you handle screen time.
A prepared parent with a positive attitude and an open mind is on the right track for creating a successful, year-long partnership with his child's teacher.
www.care.com

MAKE YOUR KIDS SMARTER THIS SUMMER

Do you want to make your kids smarter this summer? Do you want them to remember the chores you gave them to do before you went to work? Do you want them to use their brains, not lose their brain power over the summer by viewing TV and living in their digital devices?

Then get them up in the morning when it is cool and send them racing and chasing each other around the block. You can fully engage your children for super-charged learning by combining their learning with fast exercises--exercises that optimize their brain function as well as strengthen their body.

"Kids have the right idea with their enthusiastic zipping around, and the pleasure they take in feeling fully alive and aware of their own bodies. When kids go out to play, they run, sprint, laugh, chase, zigzag, climb, sweat and get totally exhausted." Phil Campbell, MS

Fast movement or sprinting decreases inflammation in the brain and improves hormone balance. Brain plasticity and blood flow increase with exercise, especially in the hippocampus, which is part of the limbic system known for learning and memory in the brain. Not only memory, but the capacity to engage in critical thinking is strengthened by regular running--FAST.

One school adopted a "Zero Hour PE" regimen in which students ran and exercised before their first period of the day. The teachers noticed a "state of heightened awareness" in their students and they were more prepared to learn.

Speed workouts have four levels: 1) oxygen debit or feeling out of breath; 2) muscle burn 3) an increase in body temperature and 4) adrenal response--feeling out of breath and "slightly in pain." This is how you know when you join your children that you have moved fast enough for your moves to be effective in increasing your "brain power."

On YouTube, Ed Mayhew has a series of movement exercises that he calls "brain sprints" in which he emphasizes using movement to memorize necessary math facts and cross-lateral movements that strengthen the brain hemispheres' connection.
(https: //google.com/mail/#inbox/i54c7f51581cla95)

In his book, SPARK: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain
(Little Brown, 2008), Dr. John Rahey shows how exercise becomes "Miracle-Gro for the brain." When one moves as fast as he can, a person sparks the master molecule of the learning process showing a direct biological connection between movement and cognitive function. Exercise, especially sprinting, strengthens the cellular machinery for learning. You and your children's bodies produce more dopamine and serontin (brain neurotransmitters) by working harder.

Dr. Oz recommends that you exhaust your muscles once a week. Your body is supposed to have its engine revved every once in a while just like your car. Even a 30-second burst per day will create new confidence and appreciation for the "spectacular machine" that is our body, he says.

MENTAL EXERCISE AIDS LEARNING

Mental exercise is as important as physical exercise. Let me review some of the ways you can strengthen your children’s mental abilities.

During children’s formative years, many new things are being learned—good and bad. As parents, caregivers, and grandparents, we want them to remember the good things. We want to strengthen their minds to remember things like wonderful expeditions, great vacations, and memorable gifts. We do this by reminding them through sharing memories and sometimes, pictures.

It is also necessary for them to remember and retain some very basic “memories.” In the days of technology, you may remind me that they do not need to know their multiplication tables because they can use a calculator or how to spell since they can use “spell-check” or how to make change when the cash register tells them how much change to give. What if they did not recognize what different coins look like? What if they dropped their iPad or iPhone over Niagara Falls on your great vacation? What if Verizon or Cox lost their signals?

Remember my statement that their brain “muscle” could deteriorate with UNDERUSE? Therefore, if we are going to raise children to survive, they must know some “survival techniques” and that means using their brain to remember, to know, to find out. Children NEED “mental exercise” as well as physical exercise. All need to memorize. The most valuable employees at Walmart are the ones who have memorized the product locations and can tell you when you inquire.

That is why memorizing the multiplication tables and measurements and spelling rules are necessary to basic learning. Children must store information in their brains for future use. Sometimes, seniors can recite things from memory faster and easier than their grandchildren. Repetition in classroom and home is crucial.

In a classroom, the children who have not yet memorized their multiplication tables are at a distinct disadvantage. They do their math slower, get confused when counting on their fingers, and get behind in their classwork. If your children always have math for homework, dawdle when doing it, cry because you make them do it, the solution may only be that they have not memorized their multiplication tables, units of measurement, or formulas. If spelling is difficult for them, they may not remember the construction of syllables. Missing one piece of information hurts a student’s ability to understand new information related to it, use it in new situations, and could hamper their ability to do future schoolwork at all.

Parents can reinforce these necessary “memories” like all other memories—through recall, review, and practice. Please love your children now, by helping them to remember these basic skills, and they will love you in the future by rewarding you with competent learning.

ATTENTION WARS

Are your children's fights driving you crazy? Are your children being bullied...at home?
Are you constantly "in the middle" when your children have disagreements?

You are certainly not alone. A house full of conflict is stressful for everyone. How a parent reacts in these situations sets the tone and restores the peace in a home. There are websites with valuable advice to help parents know what to do in the above situations. One isCommunity.today.com/parentingteam/post/six-parenting-mistakes-that-fuel-sibling-rivalry which shares the following situations that you may not even be aware of.

1) Children have a need to have their 'attention bucket' filled with individualized time and attention. There is no need to include all the children all the time. You can schedule time on the computer or video game with each child by themselves. Treat children individually, not equally to prepare them for life because life is neither equal nor fair.

2) Children are all different and have different interests and talents. Trying to put every child into the same sport or activity increases competition that may not be healthy or good for either child.

3) Labeling children by siblings or parents is not beneficial or encouraging to children to be their own best selves.

4) "Let's see who can get dressed the fastest?" "Who will be the first to get their room clean?" creates unnecessary competition among children in a family. Look for ways to do things together: "WHEN you pick up your toys, THEN we go to the park. WHEN you get your pj's on, THEN we read a book." Using "when...then" encourages your children to learn together that they can be a cooperative unit rather than a competitive one.

5) It is so easy to turn to the child who does things without a fuss, but again, this spawns jealousy and hard feelings among your children. Think about how you can coax other children to do things for you without griping.

6) Parents should not take sides in a fight. It takes two to make that fight like it does in any partnership. Separate your children until they cool down. By giving them the tools to respond, react, and behave in a way that is kind, caring and meaningful, you as parents are giving your children life skills that they will not get in school. Help resolve relationships in healthy and loving ways. There will be some "bumps in the road," but when you teach skills and mindsets that your children can learn now, they will be able to manage relationships the rest of their lives. By so doing, you teach your children to value another's perspective, how to compromise and negotiate and how to control aggressive impulses.

Parents need to nurture patterns of lifelong friendship among their children by helping them find constructive ways to be sensitive to each other. Help them to live in compatible relationships as children so that they will remain friends when they grow up(www.askdrsears.com)

Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition people have to work at. Maya Angelou

CORE HABITS NECESSARY BEFORE COMMON CORE

One of the definitions of core in the dictionary is the innermost or most important part. Knowing this definition is a key to understanding core habits, such as those parents should teach children. It is necessary for parents to teach children habits that will help them fit into any place in society and to become independent, well-rounded and confident individuals who can merge well into any situation. Teach your children basic table manners, saving money, eating healthy, good hygiene and sharing.
(http://au.ibtimes.com/articles/577633/20141231/parenting-core-habits-child.html)

I was surprised to find this reference in an international business article, and even more surprised to see table manners as the first habit parents should teach their children. Such basic manners as not to pick at their food, not burping, chewing with their mouths closed and eating everything on their plate. It has become common to bring or provide the food that their children will eat rather than eating the food the hostess has prepared for them. Saying grace was also included which I also found interesting. It certainly does not hurt to acknowledge the fact that we have not obtained our sustenance on our own.

Eating healthy is another challenge to parents in our time. Two parents working, busy with their pursuits and children's pursuits hardly leaves time to cook nutritious food. My mother would prepare a very healthy meal on the weekend--meat, potatoes, vegetable, salad and dessert. Most of the rest of the week, we enjoyed creative leftovers served in different formats that still provided the necessary ingredients to maintain good health. Using the crock pot to begin meal preparation before leaving for the day should help families be ready to satisfy hunger soon after entering the door, even if entering at varied times caused by after-school activities. Another suggestion might be to provide healthier meals rather than fast food (Pinterest suggestions) bringing us to the topic of saving money. Money not spent on fast food may be used for family entertainment to be enjoyed by all.

Handling money should be taught to children so they learn the value of money and how to spend it wisely. If children are taught to save their money and even work to make money, they will soon learn that money buys needs, such as food and clothing, and can be saved for wants.
Good hygiene is equally important for your children to be accepted by their peers. If they wear dirty clothes and have an offensive odor, others will not want to associate with them. Help them to brush their teeth and take frequent showers. If children pick out their own clothes when shopping for new clothes, they may be more inclined to be clean and look good. Teaching them to do their own laundry is also a possibility.

"Common core" is an often used and abused term in today's education, but before parents take on 'common core' learning in school, perhaps they should start with core habits at home.

Cultivate Your Children's Passion

It is important that you keep your children and grandchildren from being bored or buried in video games, and the time to think about what you can do is NOW. You must consider your time and your children's time to be valuable enough to invest in their learning.

Famous people were given their parent's attention for them to become notable. Frederick Douglass had extensive reading opportunities; you have your local library's summer reading program. Thomas Edison was taught at home by an "attentive" mother; you can be "attentive" to each of your children to find what opportunities you should give each of them to explore and grow their interests. Robert Goddard's family gave him telescopes and microscopes to explore the world around him. Have your children become interested in science, technology, engineering, or math as a result of the STEM programs in school this year? When you are attentive to your children's interests, you will help them find books, build knowledge, and attempt new things.

Help your children be inquisitive. Find out what kinds of classes they might take to learn more about their interests. If your children want to attend a science or discovery class, and you don't have money to finance their interest, seek financial help, scholarship opportunities, or some kind of work-study. If your children love animals, you might ask if they can volunteer at a veterinary hospital, a stable, or the Humane Society. If they love little children, your children can help mothers by playing with their little ones or helping young children read books over the summer.

Now is the time to plan a trip or vacation, not to be entertained, but to learn more about their world, to feed your children's curiosity. The more opportunities you give your children to learn, the easier it will be for them to seek direction for their lives.

The more you help them learn and attempt new things, the more confident they become to set goals for themselves and work towards these goals. Make contracts with them to learn more through the internet, through shadowing or helping a professional (friend or family), through reading and writing. Use open-ended questions that require them to research for the answer. "How do you think that happens (in nature, science)? Why are people anxious to come to the United States--legally or illegally?" Ask questions that make them think.

Encourage them to keep a journal--using words or pictures, or just a new word each day.

70% of children who have high ability are underachieving and not realizing their potential. Believe your children have that ability and plan now to grow it this summer. If you as parents challenge them to learn something new each day, perhaps you can help them exceed expectations to never stop learning.

Choices Determine Learning

"I don't want to go to school. I don't want to do that homework. I can't wait until school is out."
After hearing these statements, it is no wonder that parents and grandparents are also ready for school to be out. Soon, the choice to play video games or watch TV is going to be children's daily choice. .. unless parents, grandparents and kid caregivers provide other choices.

It is better to offer one of two choices. Too many choices confuse children of all ages. Have you taken your children to Baskin-Robbins or Dairy Queen? You only go when you have time for your children to make choices. If you want your children to be productive with their summer time, you need to think of work, chores, activities, or projects in which you give them a choice. Children like to have a say in what they do. Young people like to make decisions how they use their time. All would rather play than participate in more worthwhile activities, but you as the adult are in charge, and you provide the choices.

One way to do that would be to schedule time involving your children. "You need to sort the books you no longer want into a box and load the dishwasher. You get to decide when you want to do these things, but they must be done before we eat supper." Let your children figure out the best time for them to do these things. If they choose to sort the books in the morning, and load the dishwasher in the afternoon, there may be no silverware for supper. Their choice may yield pbj sandwiches again for supper just like they had for lunch. Next time, they may choose to load the dishwasher first so they can have macaroni and cheese and hot dogs for dinner.

"Your friends may come over tomorrow, but you must put your clothes in the hamper or into the washer before they come. If you are going to eat, I need to know if you will have pizza to put into the microwave or fix bologna and cheese sandwiches. You need to check to see if there is enough milk or Kool-Aid. I can stop on my way home from work, but neither you nor I will shop tomorrow before your friends come."

Reading through a summer reading program should not be a choice, but what books they read can be those they want to read. They may have the choice to read stories, non-fiction or graphic novels, but they must read something. Reading is a skill lost like other skills without practice.
You as parent, grandparent, or caregiver might choose to read the books your children bring home not only to enjoy them, but to be able to question your children to check their comprehension, another important skill.

Give your children choices, but share your wisdom. Help them to grow through choices good for them and their future, and the future of our society.

Order in Your Children's Lives (and yours)

Order is a step in the right direction. You want your children to succeed in school; you want your children to be ready for their sports and music practices. What if they can't find the "tools" they need to get to their practices or school on time? You must teach your children to have order. Put things in the same place every time to be able to find them as you exit the house so you can be on time.

Order increases efficiency, saves time, eliminates confusion, and uncertainty, and prevents pressure and loss. Children need to practice order for them to learn it. Putting their dishes in the sink or dishwasher needs to be done consistently. Putting their shoes beside the door when they enter helps them to have them ready to go outdoors or into the car to go with you.

Order needs to be learned one step at a time. Anytime is a good time to begin to practice order. It will surely make a happier and less stressful family time.

Routines are part of this order. Establish morning routines such as checking a "family information center." This can be on a bulletin board on which you write notes to each of your children. Write in a different color for each child to know the chores they must do on that day or the activities and practice they must be ready for at what time. Help them to put the outfits, the materials, etc. they need in a certain place--inside the door of their room, by the door to the garage or beside the entry door.

For your information, there are several websites that give age appropriate chores for all ages: www.thespruce.com/age-appropriate-chore-charts-1900357, www.yourmodernfamily.com/age-appropriate-chores-for-kids/ (chores in a basket for children to choose), www.webmd.com/parenting/feature/chores-for-children#1 (allowances for chores?). When you check out these websites, you will see several others that will help you establish routines with your children.

Other ideas: practice putting things away immediately when you are finished with them; have a set place for everything, and make sure you put things back into those places. Parents should not need to pick up things after your children when you come home after a busy day at work.

See that your children follow through with the directions you give them on your family bulletin board. Set consequences if you must--loss of privileges, screen time, etc. You must be consistent in order for your children to learn order. You must practice it yourselves, as a family.

As part of that order, make time for reading and thinking. Give your children freedom to explore things of interest to them and to share them with you. Give each of your children time to talk to you. Schedule it if that works, but help each child know you value them and their interests. On their list of duties, write sharing time with you.

Chaos was the law of nature; order was the dream of man. Henry Adams

GROWTH MINDSET

Scientists are learning that people have more capacity for life-long learning and brain development than they ever thought. Do you believe this? Do you as parents believe this? Do you believe that your children "are not stupid"? Do you make excuses for their lack of achievement, like "Johnny is a chip off the old block. My father never liked school either."
Mindset is a mental disposition or attitude that predetermines one's responses to and interpretation of situations (Webster's Dictionary). It is a simple idea that makes all the difference in achievement for you and your children
On the Website mindsetonline.com and in a book Mindset, Carol Dweck, a renowned psychologist from Standford University, explains the term mindset as fixed or growth.
In a fixed mindset, people spend time documenting their intelligence and talents instead of developing them. "I have an IQ of 140. I know the answers." You have to prove yourself over and over to convince yourself and others of your superior ability or talent.
In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be enhanced and developed even further through dedication and hard work. This kind of thinking creates a love of learning and resilience that leads to great accomplishment.
Which mindset would you like for yourself and your children to have? As you model learning and curiosity about the world, you instill that in your children. As your children see you working diligently to achieve success in your work, your desire to lose weight, or your cooking in the kitchen, they see themselves working to be better also. If you teach your children to ask themselves questions like "What can I learn from this? How can I do this better the next time? How can I improve?" you will be developing a growth mindset in them that will allow them to thrive during some of the most challenging times in their lives. They can grow through their experiences not look for excuses for failure.
In a recent commercial on television, Russell Wilson, quarterback for the Seattle Seahawks, made the point that it is not talent that earned him the leadership position he is in, but practice, practice, practice (and undoubtedly, a growth mindset).
With passionate practice and continual learning, there is no limit to what your children can accomplish. Having brains or talent is just the beginning. Why spend time proving how great they are when they can become even better? Why choose friends who think they are great just as they are instead of friends who challenge them to grow?
How can you and your children change your mindset? Learn to hear your "fixed mindset voice." Recognize that you have a choice, and talk to yourself with a growth mindset voice. Then, take the growth mindset voice that says not "why?" but "why not?" Practice hearing both voices, but act or practice with a growth mindset voice.
Give your children the growth mindset that there is nothing they cannot achieve.

DEVELOP CREATIVITY

It is crucial your children have basic facts for growing knowledge.  These facts are tools they need for efficient reading and learning.  They cannot struggle with math when they have to continually count on their fingers to find the simplest answers.  They cannot understand what they are reading when they need to stop and sound out each word. They need to grow their reading skills--letter sounds, short and long vowel rules, grammar consistencies.  They need to memorize basic math facts.  These are the tools that must stay in their heads to solve problems and comprehend what they are reading.  You must practice with them at home.  If you need more information about growing these important skills, please email me -- bettemroz@gmail.com.

You must also encourage their imagination and creativity.  Imagination is the ability to form new images and sensations in the mind that are not perceived through the senses. Imagination is the beginning of creation.  Creativity is the process of producing something original.

We are entering a new age where creativity is becoming increasingly important. Parents and teachers need to plant seeds by providing an environment rich in creative and imaginative activities for children from a very young age.   As technology advances, creative problem solving is needed to cope with the challenges this progress initiates.

Get your children interested in "Odyssey of the Mind" and other competitions that test their imagination and creativity.  Such organizations foster original thinking and communication skills for groups exchanging ideas to solve problems creatively.

Believe your children can develop new ideas and create new products we have not even dreamed of.  Encourage their curiosity, the "what if..."  Provide your children with new experiences and teach them to think about how they can use their knowledge to create.  Time spent watching TV, playing computer games, and lack of nurturing by adults in their lives is to blame for a decline in creativity.  Caring adults will provide opportunities for this next generation to think, imagine and create as future scientists, artists, and technicians in our society.

Creativity involves breaking out of established patterns in order to look at things in a different way. Edward de Bono

HABITS AID LEARNING
Establishing good habits will help your children become successful students.

It has been said that the establishment of habits comes in three parts: cue, routine, and reward. For children to do their homework is to set a special time and space for them to work on school work—assigned by teacher or parent. My son was ok with doing homework, but it didn’t take long for him to use some excuse to leave it to sharpen his pencil, retrieve his assignment book, obtain more notebook paper, get a snack, take a walk, etc. Homework was ok, but getting it done presented a problem. Maybe the excuses your children use are different, but the problem remains the same: how to get children to have study become a habit.

CUE: Using excuses becomes the habit to be broken. You may need to help them think about the cue—the reason for the excuse. Do they understand the assignment? Do they know the right tools to use? Is it hard for them to concentrate because they have their earphones on, listening for the words to their gang’s new favorite song? Is it hard for them to connect to their assignment because they are used to having “noise” to help them relax? Once, the cue is discovered, how can they change thataction to increase the value of their study time? Maybe, just trying to make sure they have all the tools and snacks they need on their desk or table will help them to stick to their work. Maybe setting a timer for a specific amount of time they need to work can help them concentrate for a set amount of time before they move. Starting with five minutes and gradually increasing the time may help them to keep their mind on their work. Avoid distractions like TV, or texting. If they are using the computer, make sure it is not for socializing.
ROUTINE: Doing things at the same time in the same place is necessary for study to become a habit.
REWARD: What reward can you offer them for sticking to their work until they get it done? Perhaps, you need to spend some time with your children to find a reward THEY want rather than one you choose for them. Maybe allow time to play games or text friends before they go to bed. Maybe they would like to spend time with you before going to bed enjoying a snack or just hanging out. You may need to record your favorite TV show while you spend time with your children, but isn’t spending time “hanging out” with them a reward for both of you?

If your children prove they can control themselves, they will establish good habits and experience satisfaction and success.

Help Your Young Athletes to Success
   Your children's success and happiness with their sports may depend on how well they follow their coaches' directions. Your success and happiness may depend on how well you act and react to your children's success in these chosen sports.
Jim Taylor has good advice for parents in his blog "The Power of Prime."

   You need to help your children realize their learning in sports is a process like the learning they do in school.   By practicing, patience, and persistence, they will get better. Please don't expect perfection from early learners.

   If you show strong emotions, like being nervous before their games and disappointed with their efforts after the games, your children will feel your emotion and feel disappointment that they have not met your expectations. This feeling will affect their effort, participation and enjoyment of the sport. Your pressure and expectations will take the fun out of their games.

   It will also add to their pleasure if you give your undivided attention to your children's efforts. If your children see you talking on your phone or taking videos of their performance, they may feel their immediate efforts are unrecognized or disappointing. Try to give your children the gift of your time and attention.
Assure your children that you love them no matter how well or poorly they play. They need the love you give them to become more confident and to enjoy the time and friendship they have playing sports. Neither of you can control a game or how it turns out.

   Everything you do as your children learn sports should be positive. Your children are learning physical, technical and tactical ways to play better. They will develop a healthy attitude if you help them to have it. They are cultivating positive habits like confidence, determination, focus, and persistence as they practice. Your children are having great experiences and adventures as they travel to other locations and make new friends.

   You may think that private coaching or sports camps will make them better, but it is your attitude and understanding that will help them more than anything. They will grow toward the goals they set for themselves on their own. You help them know that obstacles, setbacks and struggles are inevitable and just bumps in the road. Help them know that mistakes and risks are necessary for them to meet the challenges they face in sports as well as life. It is the response (yours and theirs) to mistakes that counts. You are their best coach.

   Jim Taylor has a free ebook for you if you need more help and advice about parenting your young athletes called  Prime Sport Parenting.

OPPORTUNITIES MAKE GOOD GIFTS
Depressed because you don't have enough money for gifts that are definitely over priced? Upset because your children are expecting more than you can deliver? Maybe sit them down and have a little talk about "opportunities."
Opportunities are sets of circumstances that make it possible to do something. Opportunities can be chances, occasions, moments, possibilities.
Opportunities to find deeper powers inside ourselves come when life seems most challenging.
Joseph Campbell

With almost two weeks of "opportunities" ahead of them due to the Holidays, allow your children to pursue any of unlimited possibilities for learning new things.

Maybe you are already planning to see distant relatives for the holidays. Go online to see what free opportunities there are to explore in the areas you visit.

A gift card for lessons for your children to learn something new or increase their skill--horse camp, basketball camp, cooking classes, or needlecraft classes--are a possibility. The development of these skills will last longer than expensive holiday gifts.

You can probably pay a reasonable amount to a teenager who plays an instrument in the high school band to give your children lessons during the holidays. Teenagers are always eager to have spending money and your children may find an interest in music they can continue to pursue. Call the local high school to see if this is a possibility and ask the band director for a recommendation. Visit the Musical Instrument Museum in Phoenix if your child is undecided about what instrument to play.

You are only as great as the opportunities that are given to you. Charlize Theron

And now I find myself here and it's time... I'm not afraid to fly..."Annie"

Give your children the gift of opportunities that will last longer than any other gift.

REINFORCE ARCHIVE (ages 10-12)

Parents Need to Teach Right and Wrong
Knowing good moral values such as kindness, humility, courage, and compassion at an early age builds a child’s character. ofhsoupkitchen.org
Parents must exercise their essential role in the lives and rearing of their children. Children need to be held accountable for their actions. They learn to be so through the actions and example of their parents. If parents do not want their children to learn right from wrong by watching TV shows, cartoons, and online videos that might be inappropriate for their age, then parents must teach their children some moral lessons.
Children in Australia made headlines by stealing their parents' car and then stealing gas as they drove across the continent. Children have walked into a 7-11 store and thought nothing of taking candy or snacks. Young people take money from their mother’s purse without asking. Could these be your children? When these children do something wrong, no one bothers to correct them; young people think it is ok to do it again. These kinds of actions might someday send them to prison.
Parents teach by showing their children the right way and praising them when they do good. By setting clear and consistent rules, listening and paying attention to their children, parents show they are interested enough in their children to teach them. Parents find ways to redirect their children’s bad manners or actions. Physical punishment or verbal abuse will only make things worse and cause resentment.
Parents teach by example. When you do something wrong, like forget to pay for something you put into your purse before checking out at the grocery store, admit it was something you did wrong. Discuss this with your children so that they do not pick up a candy bar and walk out of the store with it, thinking since you did something like that, it must be alright. Children need models to be honest, patient, concerned and have respect for others and the things that belong to others. Parents need to help teens be aware of the dangers of using drugs, alcohol, and tobacco. Parental example is especially important here.
Pre-teen children know right from wrong, can make good choices, know family expectations and reasonable consequences. They understand privileges and can take responsibility for their actions.
Parents give their children a strong moral compass so that they stand up for what is just and right. If children feel good about themselves, they will be ready to resist negative peer pressure and help them cope with difficult situations.
At the end of the day, it’s our responsibility to make sure that our children become productive members of society. There’s no better time than today to mold them into reliable and responsible adults. Judy Ponio

Meeting Your Children's Needs
  Children need you to also pay attention to their emotional needs. Maybe you disregard your children’s pleas for help, thinking their pleas are childish or temporary. Maybe you think your children are too temperamental, taking small things too seriously and making them into giant things. Maybe you think your children are just impossible to understand.
If you neglect your children’s emotional needs, your child may take failure too seriously and be devastated by defeat. They may have a tough time trusting people if they see parents as deceitful or manipulative. If your children see you neglecting your own mental and self-care, they may become vulnerable to more stress and anxiety. If your children receive no love or support from you as parent, they may lack confidence or become too self-critical, especially if you expect perfection or are pushing them too hard. If you blame your children for things they do wrong or see everything they do as wrong, your children become guilt–ridden and apologetic. They may be baffled by the consequences you apply if you are inconsistent in your discipline.
An unpredictable parent is a fearsome god in the eyes of a child. Susan Forward
Children soak up both verbal and nonverbal messages like a sponge. They listen to you, watch you and imitate you. Your actions are patterns of behavior that may negatively shape your children’s lives. They also want to be more like their older siblings. So, allowing humor that belittles each other can be extremely damaging in a family. Children take sarcasm and humorous exaggeration at face value. Making jokes at someone else’s expense whether from a parent or another sibling can be damaging. Children believe and internalize what parents and siblings say about them.
You may be neglecting or ignoring your children without even realizing it, by simply not listening to them. Put your phone down and make eye contact. Try not to downplay your children’s concerns. Be patient and present showing your children you really care about what they have to say and that their feelings and words are important to you.
If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money. Abigail Van Buren
Some children feel severely neglected because their parents are just too busy or more concerned with their own needs to pay attention to them. Parents fail to see the progress their children are making in school or sports. They see their children’s mistakes as failures and reflections on them rather than learning opportunities. They embarrass their children by their own behavior.
Be the people in your children’s lives who lift them up and give them support whenever they need it. Be the genuinely caring parents your children love.

Teach Your Children About Boundaries
When we think of boundaries, we often think parents are the ones telling their children how far children can go with their behavior. Parents set boundaries like fences that tell their children when it is “enough” and what the consequences will be.
Children also need boundaries over their own personal lives to protect themselves from unwanted advances, to protect their own space, emotions and thoughts, feelings, stuff or possessions, time, energy and values. They need to learn to set boundaries and to honor the boundaries of others. They need to learn to take charge of their own lives and set clear rules for family, siblings, friends and classmates. Setting healthy rules for navigating relationships helps your children have better self-esteem, conserve their emotional energy (the ability to advocate for themselves), and have more independence giving them space to grow and accept failure and make mistakes.
Help your children know they have rights to their own thoughts and possessions. They can have choices to show their own level of comfort. Her sister cannot borrow her clothes if it upsets your daughter. Her brother cannot take her soccer ball without asking. No one can read her diary or journal because it contains her own thoughts and feelings.
If someone throws a fit because you set boundaries, it’s just more evidence the boundary is needed. Unknown
Your children have these basic rights according to Judith Belmont: say NO without feeling guilty, be treated with respect, realize their needs are as important as others, accept their own mistakes and failures, and not meet unreasonable expectations.
How can you teach your children to set and honor boundaries? Jennifer Chesak on the healthline website suggests your children learn to be assertive, not aggressive. Firmly, tell her sister that certain clothes are not hers to borrow and her brother can only have the soccer ball if he asks or if your daughter is not using it. She can use the “i” statement: I feel _______ when you ___because _____. She lets her siblings know what makes her upset or uncomfortable in a kind way. She may need to enlist your support or help to set this boundary if her siblings challenge her too much.
Teach your children to watch for cues when honoring other’s boundaries. Do her siblings or friends avoid eye contact, turn away, back up, limit their conversation, nod excessively or answer in a higher pitched voice than necessary? Do they laugh, talk too fast or with their hands? Do they fold their arms or stiffen their posture? Maybe she is crossing other’s boundaries.
Boundaries clue you and your children into behavior that might be harmful, uncomfortable, or unsafe and could be a “red flag” to abuse or other problems. Schedule a family meeting to talk about boundaries and discuss each other's boundaries and how important it is to respect those set by each family member. Even parents have the right to privacy when they post a “Do Not Disturb” sign on their doorknob.

Be An Olympian
If your children would like to compete in the Olympic Games someday after watching the games on the internet or TV, there are some things you will need to help them with.
First of all, if your children dream big, help them to know the challenges they face to make their dreams come true.
Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit. Wilma Rudolph
Wilma Rudolph was an American sprinter who became a world-record-holding Olympic champion and international sports star following her successes in the 1956 and 1960 Olympic Games. She became a role model for female athletes breaking barriers in the all-male field of track and field. Determined to play basketball and track during her teen years, she continued to compete and win. Her legacy lies in her efforts to overcome obstacles that included childhood illnesses and a physical disability due to polio to become the fastest woman runner in the world in 1960.
I ran and ran every day, and I acquired this sense of determination, this sense of spirit that would never, never give up, no matter what else happened.
In addition to determination, the ability to overcome obstacles, a competitive spirit and the desire to win, Olympic athletes need discipline and consistency in training showing up for every session over months and years. They practice their sport over and over in all kinds of weather. When their friends want to hang out, these athletes go to practices. They must have effective communication with their coach and follow his advice. They must focus on their goals despite anything else going on in their lives.
Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment. Jim Rohn
These athletes show hopefulness in all settings, seeking out and achieving their goals. They are optimistic, knowing positive things will happen. They confront challenges with confidence, patience, and persistence. They are “learning machines,” staying motivated and realizing that they will never know everything there is to know about their sport. They are willing to learn from others as they compete in meets and share practice time.
Families of such athletes also make sacrifices for their children, taking them to practices and competitions spending time and money on training and travel. They see the focus and mental toughness their children show as they continue to enjoy the sport they love. They see their children follow the rules and regulations faithfully for the sport in which they participate. Friends and families support their athletes knowing the determination, effort and commitment of their young people that will contribute to their success someday. They see the internal motivation and the drive within their children that will ensure their growth in all aspects of their future life.
Are you ready to follow this path to be an Olympian family? Olympic athletes are a testament to human potential fulfilled. They are fine examples to our growing children.
The potential for greatness lives within each of us. Wilma Rudolph

Opportunities and Possibilities
My favorite words are possibilities, opportunities, and curiosity. I think if you are curious, you create opportunities, and then if you open the doors, you create possibilities. Mario Testino
Children are naturally curious and often get into trouble with their quests to find out what something is or how it works. Parents can encourage them to ask questions, to find out more. Parents can expand possibilities for their children by focusing on how we help each other learn and grow. By connecting with other people, ideas, experiences and places, adults can help children grow and expand their worlds so that each child can be and become their best selves.
Adults can aid children to see possibilities in their future. Parents can broaden the horizons for their children by exploring innovative ideas, experiences, and places with them. Parents and interested adults can model being a curious learner by creating their own questions and sharing what they learn. By talking with your children, you might even learn from them. Help them to connect to people who can help them grow. Maybe, grandparents, uncles and aunts can introduce your children to their customs, traditions, even the work they have done. Give your children the opportunities to learn from them. You can even find ways for your children to spend time with them and people in your community who are different from your family. When they engage in their communities in meaningful ways, your children gain self-respect and take pride in their communities. They could organize a “litter patrol” in your neighborhood or their own neighborhood watch. https:fpcanada.org/programs/ helps involve children 9-12 in their communities.
Parents can prepare children for possibilities in their future when machines and technology will take over so much of their lives. Change the ways you talk to your children. Develop the right tools and questions and be a good listener to unlock your children who already have the answers within them. Let your children take the lead in doing a project or planning a vacation. What are they interested in? Let them learn to fail but learn from their failures so they learn resilience. Help them to assess risk and reward. Give them opportunities to work with others to explore the latest ideas, to become more resourceful and determined.
There are possibilities all around you—magic all around you—no matter what situation you’re in. Kate Palmer
Give your children opportunities and explore possibilities with them as you make plans.

Strong Bodies, Strong Minds
Exercise is the single best thing you can do for your brain in terms of mood, memory and learning. Dr. John Ratey
Help your children get fit mentally as they get fit physically. When we think of exercise, we think of moving our whole body, but movement of just parts of the body is important also. Exercise primes good behavior and reduces discipline problems. It creates an alert brain ready to learn.
Playing catch, especially with bean bags that fit children’s hands is beneficial also. Tossing the bean bag in the air with one hand and catching it with the other is good for eye-hand coordination. Children can also throw bandanas in the air in the same way. Practicing walking with the bean bag on their heads is good practice for balance. Using a bean bag to throw and knock down empty soda bottles is inside bowling. How about balancing a plastic egg on a wooden cooking spoon as children attempt to carry it across the floor? “Lawn darts” can be played inside with rolled up socks, beanbags or Nerf balls thrown into containers set up some distance away. (thephoenixcenternj.org/phoenixfamilytips)
If you have access to stairs, they can be used for balance and learning.
True enjoyment comes from activity of the mind and exercise of the body; the two are ever united. Wilhelm Von Humboldt
As children get ready for school, they can do a few minutes of aerobic exercise in the morning to wake up their brains. This gives them energy and helps them be more focused and score better on tests. Doing some kind of strength building in the afternoon reinforces their ability to make it through the day. Such activities or video games such as “Dance Dance Revolution” or “Just Dance” are great fun and provide super benefits for continuing to learn.
To keep the body in good health is a duty...otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear. Buddha

Valuable Learning for Young Artists
Art has the power to inspire, motivate and educate. It improves children’s social skills and motivates them to want to learn other things. It might even help them to do better in their academic studies and score higher on standardized tests.
Through artistic stimulation, children’s brains are healing and growing. Dr. Bruce Perry
  According to scholastic.com, children express their feelings using color and texture. Parents can sense the mood of their children by observing how they use these mediums. Parents can observe, predict, and help solve problems as their children display their emotions through their art.
Children make their choice of art materials to create a picture or sculpture which grows their thinking and decision-making ability. Using different art materials such as a feather or pipe cleaner dipped in washable paint to draw helps children experiment and build a sense of success and understanding. Some people paint using their mouth or feet. Children may even try this. Children do not always need paper and crayons or markers to create their masterpieces. Help your children learn to be creative and different and to be proud of their efforts, thus building their self-esteem. They might even just doodle.
Using the motor control they learn through their painting and drawing transfers to motor skills needed in similar areas. Children improve their concentration by learning to focus and give their full attention to their work. They grow their ability to follow through on a project using their art. They learn to take risks, innovate, and originate.
Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time. Thomas Merton
If children talk about their art projects, they are growing their communication skills. When they share them with family or peers, they are also shaping their social and emotional interaction skills.
They learn to appreciate other people’s work and diversity. They learn how to communicate their ideas and listen to others. Artists can compete and close the gap between socioeconomic groups while they level the playing field if they learn to do so as children. They learn to collaborate as they share, observe and organize.
A man paints with his brains and not with his hands. Michelangelo
The best artists are disciplined, able to think differently, to relate art and science, and they are resilient. They become more observant and make better critical judgments. They learn from their mistakes humbly and try again. These are valuable skills for children to grow and learn for their future – all through the art they learn and use as children.
The future belongs to young people with an education and the imagination to create.          Barak Obama

Foundation for an Emerging Author
How do you encourage your children to use their handwriting? Do you know your children might be the future authors of TV shows, articles, stories, even books? Do your children seem to have a vivid imagination even at an early age? How do you get them to put their ideas into writing?
As children grow older and more ready to write on their own, encourage them to write in a journal or diary. Such writing materials are not just for writing their emotions but also for recording ideas they want to write about. Their ideas might be real or imagined which will develop into fiction or non-fiction stories in the future. When they are ready, have them make their own books by simply stapling sheets of paper together.
Your children can act out a story or book they have written. You may need to be the narrator as they perform the actions or emotions which may prompt them to write even more to make their story more exciting. Other family members might even suggest ideas to be accepted or rejected by the original “author.”
Children can make up stories about events or happenings they have shared with grandparents and give them to grandparents as gifts for special occasions. Creating greeting cards drawn and written by them become precious mementos for grandparents, aunts, and uncles, especially if they are about their grandparents’ homes, trips taken, or pets.
You might even get the whole family involved by putting a notebook in a special location in your home. Drafting a story starter or one suggested by one of the members of your family, have each person write what can happen next. Share this “made-up” story at your family dinner later in the week.
Mary Amato shares more ideas on how to encourage your children to write on the website www.readingrockets.org. Your children might even share or publish their stories on websites such as www.imagineforest.com.

Mental Health for Your Children
   Even if the goal is academic, when we teach young people emotional skills, social skills, we see
  better mental health.  Shimi Kang
If we want our children to succeed in life, there are social and emotional skills we must teach them. As parents and caregivers, our time is important, but taking time to help children learn to control and use their feelings and emotions properly in society is worth every minute of our time. Children need to learn coping strategies so they can handle the problematic situations they encounter as they grow. This generation is growing up with tech time, but not parent time.
Children who feel like they can’t do things or are not good enough or that they are not worth anything experience mood swings, loss of pleasure and poor concentration. These feelings are made worse by a tech-based society in which children experience social isolation and disconnection.
Social and emotional skills parents/caregivers are expected to teach at home include the following: self and impulse control, expressing their feelings with words, being able to listen and pay attention, asking for help when needed, being aware of other people’s feelings and having pride in their accomplishments, (www.danvilleschools.net)
Impulse control is one of the skills with which we can help our children. Children cannot be aggressive toward others, destroy others property, or be mean to their animals. They cannot be allowed to act compulsively. Children must get enough sleep which may be the reason for their out-of-control behavior. If parents notice that there are certain situations or actions that trigger undesirable reactions, they should also help their children’s teachers be aware and seek professional help from teachers, school counselors, or family doctors if necessary. Helping children control their emotions and impulses demands parent and caregiver direction and time.
Mastery of impulse is all about self-discipline and choice. The mind is a powerful tool with which we have the ability to be in control of ourselves. Alaric Hurchinson
Children need balance in their lives which parents and caregivers can give. Creating routines, providing the right amount of nourishment in the form of fruits and vegetables with fewer calorie-rich snacks, limiting the amount of time children are on screen, providing time for physical activity, enough sleep, and family time at meals and conversations are needed for children to grow successfully and to achieve in their studies. Listen to your children in order to help them.
You are always responsible for how you act, no matter how you feel.  Anonymous

Ways to be a Tech-savvy Parent
Parents and caregivers, have courage! You are the first generation to supervise cyber children!
It is a giant task because what your children are doing on their smartphones, iPads, or Chromebooks, is so familiar to them. They know how to manipulate all the keys and icons; they know the language of their peers; they see much that they don’t need to see because they are curious about certain websites or blogs that may be dangerous for them. They enjoy chatting, even if they do not know with whom they are communicating.
Parents themselves need to model and practice good social media skills. Some adults often model bad mobile usage habits like sending a message while they are driving or talking too loud or using language their young children do not need to hear or imitate.
Parents can control the ages and time at which they allow their children to have and use cell phones.
I find myself worrying most that when we hand our children phones, we are stealing their boredom from them...raising writers who will never start writing, artists who will never start doodling, chefs who will never make a mess in the kitchen... Glennon Doyle
According to Debbie Gordon in Today’s Parent? “Are you a digitally savvy parent?" --
Establishing rules for how children handle tech in your family is key to their safe use of devices. She suggests reading and gaming time must be equal; homework first, then chores, then tech time; no sites that require the posting of personal information. By using Canada 411, anyone can find your home address or alter passwords pretending to be your children. Your children must get your approval before entering contests because such sites require loads of personal information.
Your children must understand that social networks are not a parent-free zone. Digital respect and safety include the parent’s right and responsibility to go behind their children’s backs to regularly check for safety and privacy. Your young children may only play on sites you have bookmarked for them. Your older children must show you settings on YouTube and social-networking sites respecting age limits and discussions that are appropriate for them. If you need to use your devices to check, try nortonsafeweb.com or mywot.com
You as parents or caregivers need to limit the time your children spend on screen. When children use technology without a break, other activities suffer. Children need time for face-to-face socialization, exercise and outdoor play. They need time for healthy meals with your family. You must also insist that there are no phones or digital devices in their rooms at night so that your children get adequate sleep.
Take time to enjoy the technology and games with your children. Involve your children in creating rules and consequences around technology so that they are more motivated to follow the rules. Have no-media days when none of you use your devices unless necessary.
Technology is a great tool that can help the younger generation achieve success in the future. Allie Cooper
But only if you supervise it.

PHONES FOR CHRISTMAS
Are your children begging for a smartphone, or any phone?
There is a campaign now--Wait Until 8th--which promotes not giving young people fully featured smartphones until they are 14 or in 8th grade. Smart phones are too expensive for your children to lose or break. Save yourself some money and don't give in to whiny children.
In a recent interview on the documentary The Social Dilemma on Netflix, one of the men suggested that due to amount of screen time children spend on their phones and computer, parents should not allow them to have their own device until the children were in high school due to the addictive nature of such devices.
Parents need to be in charge and limit the amount of time children spend, even on computers. Use of any media without rules can discourage important activities like face-to-face interaction, family time, outdoor play and exercise, unplugged downtime and sleep. Use of phones and any screen time should work with your parental values and parenting style. Help your children make wise media choices.
Don't be in a hurry to get phones for your children.

Teaching Children Enough Math
Are parents, even schools, teaching children enough math?
Do you have an analog clock in your home—one with numbers and hands that move around the circle? Can your children count and count by 5s? Do your children know how many hours are in a day? Can they tell the difference between am and pm? Do they know how many seconds are in a minute, how many minutes are in an hour?
  Help your children know inches and feet by measuring the table where you eat. Let them measure the ends and the sides of the table with a measuring tape. Let them convert the inches to feet. Add the foot measurement of ends and the sides of the table or multiply the sides by 2 and the ends by 2 and add them together to see the size of your table. Help your children estimate the distance around the table, the perimeter, by walking around the table putting one foot directly in front of the other and counting their steps in this manner. This should give them an estimate of how many feet there are around your table. Compare their walking steps with the actual measure around the table to see how close their walking steps were to the actual measurement. Talk about how the estimate may be off due to the size or length of their shoes.
Help your children measure or even weigh, their snacks. Tell them they can have one-half cup of nuts, Cheerios, or M&Ms.  Can they weigh their snacks to see how many ounces they can eat or what part of a pound that is?
Talk about how to finance purchases and estimate the cost of things.
You get the idea. By integrating math into your everyday life, you and your children can grow your math thinking and problem-solving skills. Strong fundamentals in math are necessary for just about every career choice and are used every day. Math develops thinking and reasoning power. Some uses can be found on Discovery Education and Education World. Math games, such as Mancala, Double Shutter, Yahtzee, Qwixx, and Splat may be fun and useful.
Do not be afraid of math; it is not boring!

Help Your Children Become Better Listeners
I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So, if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening. Larry King
Listening is much more than hearing. Listening is one of the ways in which children learn. It is another of the lifetime skills I often write about in my newspaper column. A good listener is one who understands tasks and projects, builds strong relationships, solves problems, and resolves conflicts. A good listener is one who gains knowledge, understanding, and success.
Listening is not something that just happens. It begins with concentration and the desire to learn. Encourage your children to watch the teacher or speaker to see how they stand, move, or gesture. Children can be taught to watch for signals given by the tone of the teacher’s voice to tell if she/he is joking or serious. Facial expressions such as a raised eyebrow, an emphatic wink, well-timed smile may help your children feel comfortable and gain confidence with what the teacher is trying to help them learn. Listen for breaks in how the teacher is making a point or to check for students’ understanding. Teachers may be waiting to see if their ideas will make their students think and react with thoughts of their own. Picking up signals from their teacher and interpreting them takes practice. Children can also signal the teacher that they are interested in learning more by nodding, leaning forward and making eye contact. Embolden your children to ask questions when they do not understand even though they feel they are listening.
Everything is writing begins with language, Language begins with listening. Jeanette Winterson
If your children are having trouble focusing or listening, have them take notes or even just doodle. In addition to using their eyes and ears, using their hands may help them listen. Your children must make the decision to listen as their first choice, rather than daydreaming or becoming distracted by what they are drawing. Their intention must be to listen especially if their drawing helps them to better understand the point made by their teacher or to visualize what he/she wants them to know.
By offering your children even just one way to listen to their teacher as they leave for school each day, you help them grow the habit of listening. They will be surprised at how much more they can learn and how much better and easier their schoolwork becomes.
When you listen, it’s amazing what you can learn. When you act on what you’ve learned, it’s amazing what you can change. Audrey McLaughlin
Children can be taught to listen to themselves also, to pay attention to their positive thoughts. Children can talk themselves out of being afraid or anxious. They can be taught "I can do this.” They must be careful how they talk to themselves because they are the only ones listening.
The word LISTEN contains the same letters as the word SILENT. Alfred Brendel
Good advice: stop talking, be quiet and really listen.

Chat Apps That Parents Need to be Aware Of
   As a parent, being aware of various social media platforms your young people are using can help prevent them from exposure to dangerous elements writes Paul Kamoko in his article on Parentology.com titled “8 Chat Apps That Parents Should Worry About.”
     The Homeschool Handbook cautions parents to check on computers, iPads and iPhones to make sure their children are following and learning internet safety and adhering to an internet “code of safety” because they care about their children and their future. Young people today are tech-savvy, but still need their parents’ interest and guidance.
    Mr. Kamoko offers knowledge of these social media sites:
SNAPCHAT gives the illusion of no-consequence messaging, but messages can be saved and stored by an external app. There is now an app for Snapchat that can let users hide their identity and this could be dangerous. Use Parental Controls to limit who can contact your kids and who views their stories.
YOLO uses Snapchat’s platform to post questions and answers anonymously. It also allows hate messages and has no parental controls.
TIK TOK allows users to share 3 to 60-second videos. Parents’ concern is that these videos may not be suitable for young children because the videos can use inappropriate language and pose risky and idiotic challenges. Supposedly, the platform is only for young people 13+, but parents must use Tik Tok’s parental controls to safeguard their children.
OMEGLE is a fee online chatting service that has no age verification. Your children can be identified if they turn on their web camera. There may be undesirable behavior in unmoderated chat rooms. This chat room can be especially dangerous and has no parental controls.
KIK is a free messaging app that is heavy with advertising. Your children will never know if they are talking to an ad-bot or a real person. Many users utilize this platform for sexting and privacy and there is no parental control.
GOOGLE HANGOUTS can be used by your children through your Google Business account without your knowledge. Although Google Docs and Google Classroom are to be used mostly for schoolwork and projects, these sites are not always monitored and can result in cyberbullying.
Warn your children, especially your younger children, that not all people on the internet are who they say they are; they are not always telling the truth. Tell them not to go into “chat rooms” with people they do not know and without your knowledge.
PARENTS, YOU ARE IN CHARGE!

Teach Bored Kids to Budget
Money is a fascinating topic for all ages. Maybe one of the best ways to waken your bored kids is to give them money. Not only give them money but teach them how to manage it. One of the best ways to work with money is to learn to budget.
Children need to learn to spend their money correctly. "Never spend more than you earn" is a tried and true maxim to teach children. Teach children to save today for a brighter future. Help them make good decisions about spending for what they want—a video game now or a trip or vacation they want to enjoy with their family. Children as young as 7 years of age can learn to set goals for using their money. You can help them learn to prioritize their spending.
Budgeting is taking care of your money. Learning to control your money rather than letting it control you. First, you save and give, then when it is time to spend, your children need to consider several points. The SMART system helps your children make good decisions. Set a specific goal, one that is Measurable and Attainable. Make it Realistic and Timely (www.cashvillekids.com). For example, your son wants a new pair of Jordan Aerospace shoes that cost $200.00. He gets a small allowance of $7.00 a week. It would be unrealistic for him to have those. Maybe getting Jordan Mars 270 that cost $73.00 and come in six colors would be more realistic and he could have them in time for the reopening of school in August. If he saves $4.00 each week, he would have $40.00 in ten weeks. Your son needs to see his money growing toward his goal of having those shoes by August, and he needs to learn to stick to his goal of getting the shoes he wants. Talk with him about what else he can do to earn the rest of the money he needs. Could he wash the car and earn $10 by doing it every two weeks? His work would need to be timely and consistent in order to have the money he needs. By having him work for the money, he would also learn good work ethics. He would also learn to be patient and wait for something he wants badly.
YouTube has fun videos for teaching children to budget. Your example is also invaluable for teaching your older children to budget. You can teach your children to watch for bargains and discounts, even to negotiate with you or neighbors to earn money. Even consider, making something instead of buying it. If your son makes his own snacks rather than buying them, he might be able to save even more for the Jordan shoes he wants.
  We believe if you teach kids for a decade, they can develop a habit. Kids will be able to make much better decisions about money. Gregg Murset

Help Children Know Their Emotions
We all have feelings that affect what we do in life. They provide useful information if we pay attention to them. Feelings can make us smarter, direct our attention and focus our thinking often in helpful ways. They direct our decision making and impact our health. We need to help our children recognize their feelings and use them properly.
The ability to use and express feelings and to understand and regulate emotions to enable good living is called emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and understand feelings, to put them into words and to use them at the right time in the right way. How do parents and caregivers help children develop their emotional intelligence?
By age four, children start to use strategies to eliminate things that upset them, like covering their eyes if something scares them or covering their ears if a sound bothers them. Children consistently use more complex strategies to regulate their emotions by age 10. They either learn to solve their problems and tolerate emotion or use their feelings improperly, upsetting themselves and their parents and caretakers.
In adolescents, higher emotional intelligence means less depression and anxiety, even preventing suicidal behavior. Higher emotional intelligence might even relate to higher SAT scores, greater creativity and better grades. As teens grow older, they might experience better relationships with friends and parents and express less anxiety, depression, stress and burnout. They will have more success in their lives and become better leaders in their chosen professionn.
  Some parents may see their children’s emotions as unimportant and try to distract them. The American Association of Pediatrics sees more parents using tech to calm or pacify their children’s negative emotions using media as a strategy to do so. This prevents parents from using limits in their children’s future use of technology and promotes the children’s inability to learn and develop their own emotion regulation. Some parents see children’s emotions as undesirable and punish them for showing their emotions. Parents may accept their children’s emotions but fail to help children solve such problems or learn appropriate ways to handle their emotions.
Dr. John Gottman suggests five ways to help your children: 1)Be aware of your children’s emotions. 2) See the emotions as an opportunity for connection and teaching. 3) Listen to your children and validate their feelings.  “I can see you are upset when your brother takes the legos you need to make a garage for your cars.” 4) Help your children label their emotions; your son may be more than upset; he might be angry or furious—labels you help him understand.   5) You may suggest ways for your children to solve their problems but allow them choice.
Their emotions might be acceptable, but the negative behavior resulting from their emotional outbursts is not. Helping children control their emotions in the right way will benefit them throughout their lives. It may take a great deal of patience now to teach your children these ways, but a happier future for all will result.

Beware of tech!
Right now, your children are learning from home under your watchful eye, hopefully. Your children need your positive advice about their use of technology. They need your help to set up technology appropriately and your interest in their online transactions. Have a conversation about how they must never contact strangers online. Children are naturally curious, but they should never go behind your back or watch videos of sensationalism.
There are health risks in viral challenges, such as "outlet challenge" where they put pennies into an electrical wall socket. They might try the "tripping jump" where three people line up and the middle person jumps while the others try to trip them causing them to fall. There is life-long damage if your children try the "fire challenge" where they spray themselves or another with nail polish remover and set on fire. There is the "shell on challenge" where your young people eat food items without removing the packaging. There is a "cinnamon challenge" and a "nutmeg challenge" where they ingest so much spice they either choke or are poisoned.
The real issue is to teach kids to safely thrive online if they chase viral shock-fads like MOMO which increasingly encourages evil, even to committing suicide.
Children of this age are so anxious to impress their peers that they choose danger without considering the consequences. They want to best their peers and siblings. They need your attention and will do anything to get it.
Give them your guidance and love.

Websites to Give You Courage
Much of your children's academic learning may be developing gradually at this age, but problems may arise with their behavior. Websites such as www.empoweringparents.com support you through these challenging times.
Amy McCready helps you keep your sanity through her website www.positiveparentingsolutions.com.
Seth Perler has videos of encouragement for you and your children at SethPerler.com.
If I am assuming that your children are not having trouble with their studies, check out the websites mentioned in the STRUCTURE articles.

Patience to Wait
One of the ways for you to teach your children of this age to be patient is to help them spend their own money for what they want or need. They save their own money until they can purchase the desired object. You can encourage their patience through your own words and body language. Use your own judgment when they get close to purchasing whether to give them the last bit of money they need. They learn more patience by waiting and experience more satisfaction when they have done it on their own.
Another way you can use to grow their patience is to employ "reflective listening"--"I know it is hard to wait, but you are doing a great job!" If you acknowledge your child's struggle, they may try harder with your encouragement.
If you slow down your response to their requests, they will learn to cope with boredom. They will find ways to do things while they wait for your time.
Patience can persistently pursue accomplishment.

Peaceful Learning at Home
Children who are exposed to violence in the home may have difficulty learning and limited social skills, exhibit violent, risky or delinquent behavior, or suffer from depression or severe anxiety. UNESCO   Behind the Closed Doors
If you are having trouble parenting or are frustrated with your children’s behavior, you are certainly not alone. As human beings, we experience frustration dealing with our own problems, let alone our children’s. We have not had a lot of help in our parenting due to day care when our children are young and after school programs for school-age. When children are in middle school, then high school, we worry about their behavior when they are home alone. We have not had time to really get to know our children as fellow human beings due to our working and their school and extracurricular activities.
It is no wonder families experience anxiety when all are together. It is certainly not hard to yell at our children or take our desperation out on them since we cannot take it out on our fellow workers or others in our society. It is not hard to turn on our spouse or for our children to witness our "off-the-wall" behavior as our own frustration and anxiety grow.
We allow our children to either risk becoming victims or have adverse effects on their physical, emotional, and social development. They may even risk becoming a culprit themselves.
  How can parents provide peace in their homes? They can provide a safe and secure environment for their children when they are not in school. They can provide opportunities for proper communication with their children. Too many times all children need is an adult to listen to them, to listen to problems they have had at school or elsewhere in their lives. Like all of us, sometimes just talking out a problem helps us to find our own solution. Children want to be understood and sheltered.
Giving children a sense of routine and normalcy helps prevent problems. Provide a schedule that all can follow for life at home to go smoothly even if it needs to be printed in a sheet posted on the refrigerator. There it can be seen by all to know what is going on.
Setting rules that are to be followed most of the time and the expected consequences of not doing so helps children know what to expect. Empowering Parents (www.empoweringparents.com) suggests that lack of unity in discipline between the parents produces anxiety in children because they are unsure of the rules.
www.positiveparentingsolutions also has good ideas for parents in providing a peaceful atmosphere for children, so necessary for learning.
Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding. Albert Einstein

Teach Your Children Conversation
Having a conversation with your children is impossible if you do not have their attention. You cannot talk to your children if they do not listen. YOU can teach your children to listen.
   You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.  M. Scott Peck
Your children learn best when they listen. Teachers are expected to teach your children "listening" in the Common Core standards being adopted by schools across the country. Such skills as listening to others with care and speaking one at a time are being taught from the early years of school. Help your children's teachers by practicing how to listen and converse at home.
Consider using these strategies:
  Remove distractions. Your children cannot have earphones in their ears when you are giving them important information, such as "I must go to a meeting today. You must take the bus and come straight home." Have them repeat what you have said, then add necessary directions- "This is where you will find the key to open the door. You are not to have friends with you until I come home."
   Teach your children to focus. See that they are looking at you, watching your face, your mouth, your eyes. Make sure they understand what you have said the first time. Do not repeat yourself. Children will not pay attention the first time when they know you will say the same thing several more times. This was a grave mistake I made--I repeated so often, my children no longer listened.
    Have another child tell them what you have said. Sometimes, it helps for your child to hear your words repeated by another person, especially a favorite sibling or older child.
  Help them appreciate the knowledge they will gain if they listen to knowledgeable others. If they are going to learn, it is better to do so by listening to you and their teachers or to the video their teacher provides for them. If they still do not understand the information, even if they listen, encourage them to ask questions. They can also restate what they think they have heard you or their teacher say. You will be surprised by what they think they heard instead of what you or their teacher really said. Remember the old game "telephone" in which a phrase is whispered to others in a circle? It was hardly recognized when it reached the last person.
The website www.5minuteenglish.com/listening.htm provides examples for listening attentively and answering questions about what your children hear. Although the website is intended for non-English learners, using the dialogue forward arrow allows your children to listen. You might even like to use the dialogue script to interact with your children if they can read. Using this technology to teach the necessary skills of listening and conversation can be enjoyable time for all.

Help for Late Bloomers
Some of your children may still be struggling with their learning. Don't be discouraged and don't allow your children to be discouraged or give up either. Here are some websites that may be helpful to bolster your and your children's good feelings and to encourage your children with good advice and practice provided through games and fun.
Empowering Parents: service@empoweringparents.com
Anthony@mashupmath.com
Alexandra@biglifejournal.com
Sumitha@afineparent.com
There are others that you may have discovered. Please share--bettemroz@gmail.com. It is vitally important to your children's future interest and success in learning that you are interested enough in your children to help them now.
" Be the parent today that you want your children to remember tomorrow."

SPELLING CORRECTLY
Spelling is a tool essential for communication in reading and writing. Your children of this age become unconcerned about how they spell words, but you and they must realize that spelling is the key to formulate their ideas and for others to understand what they are trying to say.
Careful pronunciation of a word is generally sufficient to convey its spelling if your children have learned the basic sounds and syllables. If children have memorized the sounds of the consonants and basic phonic patterns, they will be able to recognize 75% of the words they will encounter in their reading and will be able to use them in their writing. Rules that predict pronunciation from spelling are generally consistent and predictable with a fair amount of accuracy.
The website www.readingkeyfree.com is a true resource for parents, grandparents, and caregivers to help children with spelling and reading words. The Members Access Page directs you to the appropriate vocabulary list for your children's grade level, but the authors emphasize that children should know all of the previous vocabulary and rules in order to insure the foundation for future learning. Memorizing sounds and rules greatly increases the rate at which students can permanently master new words.
Spelling matters. If you want your children to create a good impression in their writing and make sure they get their meaning across clearly, it's important to get their spelling right.

FULL STEAM AHEAD
(This topic is repeated here as well as in STRUCTURE for parents of this age because STEAM is driving education of your children of all ages.)
Do you know what STEAM stands for in your children's learning? Do you know why this acronym is so important? Do you know what you can do to help your children succeed in STEAM studies?
Parents can learn ways to help their children learn through STEAM.
STEAM stands for Science, Technology, Engineering, Art and Mathematics. These subjects are   important because 16% of the jobs in the United States between 2014 and 2024 will need the skills taught through these subject areas (leftbraincraftbrain.com)
STEAM provides an integrated approach to learning that encourages students to think more broadly about real world problems that they will need to solve. It is an approach involving
two or more academic, scientific or artistic areas of study to help encourage and create innovation--new and original ways to look at problems in our present and future world.
This approach to learning helps students to ask questions, "connect dots," problem solve and think creatively.

Art has been added because it helps students create ideas through sketches or designs to
solve problems. It focuses on a process which helps drive original ideas and teaches the
power of observation of people, their surroundings, and devices used to make something
happen. It creates a "what if..." mentality. It helps to sharpen spatial awareness and math concepts like geometry.

STEAM Kids: 50+ Science/Technology/Engineering/Art/Math Hands-On Projects for Kids is a paperback book by MIT engineer Anne Carey available through Amazon that provides a year's worth of activities that will fascinate children and hopefully, prevent their boredom with education. It teaches children to "question like a scientist, design like a technologist, build like an engineer, create like an artist, and deduce like a mathematician and, most importantly, play like a kid." Such projects as color changing play dough, circuit bugs, and candy mazes encourage children ages 4-10 to explore and become enthusiastic about learning as they participate in fascinating activities. Motivation to want to know more keeps their interest and leads to further exploration.

Too often we give children the answers to remember rather than a problem to solve.             Roger Lewin
https:leftbraincraftbrain.com is a website which provides a list of STEM/STEAM activities that helps to feed children's senses while they play and learn.  Pinterest also suggests many areas which challenge kids to learn through experiments, projects, and crafts. Parents can encourage children's curiosity about how things work through such activities. Children just may think up new ways to use ordinary devices and utensils to make gadgets that can be used in other ways. You may find that your child is a genius, a creative genius. This might be a fascinating discovery for parents!
https://steamklidsbooks.com suggests inexpensive ebooks, coloring books, cards and book bundles for parents to purchase.
The multiple issues that we face in the 21st Century revolve around aspects of STEM. These issues can only be resolved with a STEM-EDUCATED WORKFORCE.  Oregon State University Center for Research on Lifelong STEM Learning, 2013.

YOUR EDUCATION IS IMPORTANT,TOO
Basic education does not change, but emphasis on certain topics and subjects does. Methods for teaching keep improving so that even the teacher with few tips in her bag can learn many more to improve her teaching. Parents need to be aware of educational terminology changing, too. Do you know what SPA and STEM mean? SPA is Standards, Performance and Assessments. These terms are used to help educators know what must be taught, how they are going to teach and how the children’s learning is going to be measured to be sure students have the foundation for future learning. STEAM is the Science, Technology, Engineering, Art and Mathematics emphasis needed in our current education to prepare students for excelling in these fields. Students need to be encouraged through more intimate contact with the exciting learning that is available through these areas by encouraging interest, thought, problem-solving and research. Our current society stresses specialization. However, if children do not know how to read, do basic math, write and converse in more than the symbols they text, they will be hampered in communicating what they are learning. A basic education still needs to be the foundation upon which later elementary school, middle school and high school take place. You as parents are as responsible as your children’s teachers to see that that foundation stands firm. It takes practice, review, and discipline at home.
So much learning occurs for our students near, or at the very start of the school year, parents must do more than buy new clothes and school supplies for their children. Parents, grandparents, and caregivers need to remind children that they are getting ready for the next step in their schooling by helping them review what they have learned so far in their school years.
According to a USA WEEKEND essay by Michael Wolff in the July 11-13 issue, three billion hours a week are spent playing video games. If these games are helping your children learn, review or practice, they are valuable. With only 24 hours in a day, it is not possible to cover daily living necessities and responsibilities while engrossed in addictive entertainment.
Limiting technology for entertainment will help give your children time to grow in their learning. Set a good example for your children by managing your time efficiently and taking breaks from technology.
Give yourself time to grow in your learning also.

A TIME FOR EVERYTHING
Teaching your children how to manage their time is a valuable tool to insure a successful school year. The time they spend at school is managed for them by the teacher and/or the administration. They have been scheduled through each day for reading, writing and math, lunch and music, library and physical education. The result is that through this school management, your children will advance another year in education.
If you are home-schooling your children, on most days, you may also have a set schedule in order to advance your children in their learning.
When children come home from school, they may need a time to unwind or relax, but then, they should have their time scheduled for them. If they are to do homework assigned for them by their teacher/teachers, they need to have a time and a special place to do that. If they repeatedly tell you, they have no homework, you as a parent, assign some form of necessary practice for them--at a set time. Working mothers might find the best time for homework is after the family has eaten so you can observe, check and help as you can. Your observation is very important. Do your children dawdle or put off doing their homework? Then you must see and ask "Why?" Perhaps they do not understand the work or it is too difficult for them. It is your responsibility to email or call the teacher alerting her to the problem. Are they too tired to think after a day of figuring things out? Then you must get them to bed earlier. You must even schedule their activity with Fortnite or video games so they learn to use their this time wisely also.
Until your children are 18, their activities are your responsibility. Your schedule and guidance are as necessary as school schedules for their advancement and successful educational experience.
If the children's teachers or principal choose to share your children's days and activities with you via email or the school website, acknowledge their efforts by writing back to them. Sharing positive happenings now builds trust and credibility so that when you or your children's teacher need to work on negatives, your exchange will be comfortable and understandable. If you are not confident in the English language, ask your children or a neighbor to help you write your thinking. Your communication with the personnel at your children's school is important. It shows your interest and concern about your children and their education. Participating with other parents in your school's PTO or PTA is time well spent for parents. Help this association to be a valuable tool for sharing and learning from each other.
Putting your Smartphone down and paying attention to each of your children now at the beginning of the school year, listening to them, and observing the way they handle their assignments will help you to get them on the right foot at the right time for a great school year.

TEACH DIGITAL CITIZENSHIP
Parents, you are already aware of the effect that children's devices have on your children's lives as well as your own.. Hopefully, you have already discovered the wonderful tool that the internet can be for your children's education. It is being used to supplement the learning their children bring home from school.
You must also protect your children when using their digital gadgets. You talk and teach digital citizenship. What is digital citizenship? It is a way of thinking online, being safe and acting responsibly when your children are using their devices. Parents need to supervise their children's use of their devices by checking what sites they are visiting and how much time they are spending on their devices.
You can type into the search area on your computer to find a wide variety of sources you can use to monitor your children's time on the internet. You can even check remotely on your own phone. If you are really concerned, you can even turn off the WiFi when you are not present to supervise.
However, the most important thing you can do is talk to your children. Explain why it is important for you and them to be safe online and why you do not want them using certain websites.
http://www.techaddiction.com helps you to judge if you and/or your children are using technology too much and suggests ways to curb your usage.

ROOTS AND WINGS FOR YOUR CHILDREN
"Good parents give their children roots and wings: roots to know where home is and wings to fly off and practice what has been taught." Hodding Carter
If you are not sure your children have roots, check this list of skills. You give your children roots when you give them "executive functioning skills." Amanda Morin in the website www.understood.org  explains these skills in the following way.
Skill 1: Impulse control helps your child think before acting.
Skill 2: Emotional control helps your child keep his feelings in check
Skill 3. Flexible thinking allows your child to adjust to the unexpected.
Skill 4: Working memory helps your child keep key information in mind.
Skill 5: Self-monitoring allows your child to evaluate how he's doing.
Skill 6: Planning and prioritizing help your child decide on a goal and a plan to meet it.
Skill 7: Task initiation helps your child take action and get started.
Skill 8: Organization lets your child keep track of things physically and mentally.
  These skills are necessary, but they may develop at different times from pre-school through college. However, most of them are taught in the home through life experiences and ordinary happenings. Once again, it is parents talking with their children and guiding their thinking that will further develop these skills. Parents can help children develop a working memory--the ability to keep necessary facts in mind in order to use them later.
Helping your children think before acting and evaluating what they do comes from living on a daily basis. Providing guidance through discussion of events or problems children may have helps them to evaluate their actions as good for themselves or others. Helping children to know consequences before they do something activates their thinking and decision-making skills. Setting down to plan how they will handle their at-home time in order to get school and home chores done requires your time as parents, especially as school routine settles in. How to get to work in school may be a topic for discussion with their teacher.
Providing the support that children need to build these skills...is one of society's most important responsibilities (http://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts). Environments that help children practice these necessary skills before they must practice them alone are especially valuable for developing children. Adults can help by establishing routines, modeling social behavior and creating and maintaining supportive, reliable relationships. Children must be able to turn to you as their parents for the help and support they need as they make decisions and even mistakes.
Children are not born with these skills--they are born with the potential to develop them, according to the Harvard website cited above. It is the parents' responsibility to help their children utilize these skills

MAKE YOUR KIDS SMARTER THIS SUMMER
Do you want to make your kids smarter this summer? Do you want them to remember the chores you gave them to do before you went to work? Do you want them to use their brains, not lose their brain power over the summer by viewing TV and living in their digital devices?
Then get them up in the morning when it is cool and send them racing and chasing each other around the block. You can fully engage your children for super-charged learning by combining their learning with fast exercises--exercises that optimize their brain functions as well as strengthen their body.
"Kids have the right idea with their enthusiastic zipping around, and the pleasure they take in feeling fully alive and aware of their own bodies. When kids go out to play, they run, sprint, laugh, chase, zigzag, climb, sweat and get totally exhausted." Phil Campbell, MS
Fast movement or sprinting decreases inflammation in the brain and improves hormone balance. Brain plasticity and blood flow increase with exercise, especially in the hippocampus, which is part of the limbic system known for learning and memory in the brain. Not only memory, but the capacity to engage in critical thinking is strengthened by regular running--FAST.
Speed workouts have four levels: 1) oxygen debit or feeling out of breath; 2) muscle burn 3) an increase in body temperature and 4) adrenal response--feeling out of breath and "slightly in pain." This is how you know when you join your children that you have moved fast enough for your moves to be effective in increasing your "brain power."
On YouTube, Ed Mayhew has a series of movement exercises that he calls "brain sprints" in which he emphasizes using movement to memorize necessary math facts and cross-lateral movements that strengthen the brain hemispheres' connection. (https: //google.com/mail/#inbox/i54c7f51581cla95)
In his book, SPARK: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain
(Little Brown, 2008), Dr. John Rahey shows how exercise becomes "Miracle-Gro for the brain." When one moves as fast as he can, a person sparks the master molecule of the learning process showing a direct biological connection between movement and cognitive function. Exercise!!

Write to Learn This Summer
     Writing is an important communication skill. Many times, it is hard to tell our feelings and thoughts to other people. Writing them out may help us express how we feel even if it is only read by ourselves.
     You may think writing is unimportant due to advancing technology, but the technology cannot think for us. Writing enables us to think more clearly. It helps us to find ways to express our feelings, our emotions, our affections, our strengths and weaknesses. E-mail doesn’t keep; writing on paper does. Famous people—women and men—have written pages of their thoughts that lie dormant for many years. Once discovered, these writings are valuable sharing of their lives and the time in which they lived.
     Writing also strengthens reading. They are double-dipped to help us accumulate knowledge. If you can read it, you can write it. If you write it, you can read it. It just takes stimulation that comes from an exciting teacher and an interested parent. It is important to continue reading to your children, no matter what age they are. You are helping them to have knowledge about the world, how other children solve similar problems, and giving them something to write about. See www.themeasuredmom.com for book suggestions. A librarian can also help your selection. For older children, your choice may be about something they are studying in school.
     Writing down information helps to remember, no matter what age, especially if talking to ourselves as we write. Engaging the senses is a positive way to help memory, and memory helps students pass tests.
     There are sections of standardized tests that require students to write their thoughts about timely topics and even show their outline skills as they need to organize their thoughts before writing the required text. Although computers are increasingly used for state testing, putting thoughts on paper is still an important way to communicate one's preparation and organization in writing about a topic.
Students often laugh when I tell them to keep their dictionaries or Ipod handy when writing, but even if they cannot spell the entire word, their attempts at “sounding out” the word will help them find it correctly spelled in the dictionary pages. Correct spelling is crucial for effective communication and precise understanding. Students must care enough to spell correctly and use proper grammar.
     There are contests that encourage good writing. Civic and veteran’s organizations (VFW,   Eagles, Rotary) often hold contests in which they invite young people to tell what good citizenship means to them. Contact their nearest units to find out what they are seeking for their contests, and the timeline for them.

Virtual Vacation
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only a page. Saint Augustine
     Dreaming about a vacation can lead you and your children to take a virtual vacation. This vacation costs very little but could be a source of fun and learning.
     You and your children could travel all summer in this way. There are many travel planners on the internet:  https://hello.travefy.com/trip-planner   about.com/Free+Trip+Planner+Template                  www.wikihow.com/Plan-a-trip. You can travel all over the world. You can go by car, train, ship, or plane. You can plan a specific trip or make up a destination. You can even plan a round -the-world trip. www.pinterest.com templates suggests travel with very little money, checklists for what to pack, maps, and games.
www.wikihow.com even gives you 10 steps with pictures: How to Go on a Virtual Vacation.
     Give your children a notebook or a travel journal to keep of the travels they take this summer. Younger children can draw pictures as you or an older sibling read to them. Older children can write what they learn about their destinations--where their destination is on the map, what the people are like, what they wear, what they eat, how they would travel there, what kind of money they would need, and how they could exchange United States money for the money used in that country. With your children, you could cook some of the food and decorate your dining table with real objects or ones your children construct that represent that country. If your children want to know more about how their city or country came into existence, they could read that on the internet or in a book.
     A trip to the library to choose a book about the country in which their chosen place is located would confirm what children have already discovered and/or add to their knowledge. They might even find a book that had some of the language which would enable them to learn a new way to say their favorite food, drink or game.
The more you read, the more things you will know. The more you learn, the more places you'll go.       Dr. Suess
     Children could play games they learn are most popular in the city or country they search. A game of soccer might come after searching for information about Brazil or another South American country. A game in the pool can be one they learn from Hawaiian children.
     There is no limit to where you and your children can go on a virtual vacation. Your encouraging your children to talk about their virtual journeys will make interesting dinner conversation. Your children may even go different places when they travel. In that case, each child could be a travel agent, enticing their peers and siblings, even you, to travel to the place they discovered through their imagination and research.
People who don't travel cannot have a global view...Those people cannot accept new things because all they know is where they live. Martin Yan

Opportunities Make Good Gifts
Opportunities are sets of circumstances that make it possible to do something. Opportunities can be chances, occasions, moments, possibilities.
Opportunities to find deeper powers inside ourselves come when life seems most challenging.
Joseph Campbell

With several weeks ahead of them, allow your children to pursue any of unlimited possibilities for learning new things. Such things do not need to take much money. gosw..about.com/od/topattraction1/a/budget.html

Arrange for them to be taken by grandparents, extended family or friends, or caregivers to museums if you cannot take them yourself. Usually a large city nearby has a Children’s Museum which is fun for all ages. For more scientific explorers, try a natural history museum or an aquarium. Zoos have many animals for children to observe and learn about. It is always fun to watch the antics of the monkeys. There are always parks for picnics and hikes.

For a longer trip, there are several possibilities in big cities. Plan an overnight stay and see the free things there. Visit www.10best.com/destinations/attractions/free-things-to-do/

Factorytours.usa has interesting things to see and even participate in sometimes
Maybe you are already planning to see distant relatives for your vacation. Go online to see what free opportunities there are to explore in the areas you visit.
You are only as great as the opportunities that are given to you. Charlize Theron
And now I find myself here and it's time... I'm not afraid to fly..."Annie"

Give your children the gift of opportunities that will last longer than any other gift.

Avoid Summer Brain Drain
Charlie Brown:  The Easter Bunny is hiding eggs in our front yard. He's doing a Spring Dance, and he's hiding eggs all over the front lawn...(Sigh! to Lucy) You miss a lot when you sit and watch TV all day long.

     Are your daughters and sons going to be Lucy and "miss a lot" when they "sit and watch TV all day long" this summer? Are they going to be the victims of the "Summer Drain Monster?"
     Here are some suggestions for active things kids can do (and these ideas are also for baby-sitters).
     Have older siblings help plan a play, a show, or a circus "on the front lawn." They can write the performance and design the costumes out of old clothes, rags or paper. They can even put up a tent out of old sheets so that their "audience" will be in the shade. (This may call for a trip to Salvation Army, St. Vincent de Paul Thrift Stores, or Habitat Restore.)
     Design a fitness class for kids in the neighborhood using pool noodles to stretch their muscles and roll balls with their feet.
     Create a Paper Airplane Show. Design and create paper airplanes. You can even get a book from the library that shows you several "models" to make.
     Have a Cardboard Boat Race after the summer rains strike. Use duct tape, glue, paint and (of course) cardboard to construct your "ships" and see whose can get to the curb the fastest.
     Start a neighborhood Reading Club. You can get books from the library on similar topics and share them with each other. Children and moms and dads can read the same books together.
     Since the website www.testingmom.com claims students lose 3 months of learning over the summer and decline is more detrimental for math than reading, Karen Quinn suggests 20-30 minutes a day of fun academics that might even help your child GAIN academic skills over the summer. "20 minutes x 7 days and Watch Your Child Earn more A's!" Good advice!
     When it gets too hot to be outside, load up book apps on your digital device: Storia for iPad and Android. Scholastic, free;  Playtales for iOS and Android. Genera Kids, free; Meegenius for iOS and Android. MeeGenius, free.
     There are writing tools also:  Don't Let the Pigeon Run This App! For iOS. Disney, $7.00 (ages 3 and up); Lists for Writers for iOS and Android, Thinkamingo, $2-$3 (Ages 8 and up); This is My Story (And I'm Sticking to It) for iOS. Gramercy Consultants, $2 (Ages 4 and up).
     For math, Smart Math, Brain Pad or ScootPad.   www.testingmom.com also has online Game practice. Mathletics is good for older students. who like to be challenged.
     The testing mom like all of us suggests a 30-minute "pleasure" reading class at home every day, even for baby-sitters.
For parents as "summer learning" teachers, focus on being connected, always learning, fully aware, and super present using all the creativity and imagination you and your children can think of.

NOW is the TIME

Now is the time to put ideas to work as you control your children's use of tech. Too much time playing video games, not enough outdoor activity, too much junk food, not enough creating and imagining time makes for slow progress when they return to school.   Too much time away from necessary learning makes for trouble when school begins again. Too little discipline, misunderstood rules (and not following those you have established) makes for a LONG summer.
The time you take now to sit down and talk about summer plans sets the tone for your summer. You might think "I'll just let them rest and relax for a week." However, that week becomes all the weeks of the summer and bad habits form. It is up to you to set expectations, arrange learning and reading time, provide learning opportunities and time for chores. Now is the time.
If you are planning a vacation, arrange a family meeting for all members to have a say. Find out where everyone wants to go and why. Look up activities and attractions for the desired locations on the internet. Use MapQuest and similar sites to plan time and distance. (Reading and math are strengthened by figuring time and distance necessary to travel.) Set an itinerary. You may plan to combine a camp out with one night in a motel (with a swimming pool.) Plan outdoor activities like walks and hikes with a trip to the town and its entertainment centers, movies, and museums which encourage hands-on learning. Be flexible and make room for compromise. If you visit a museum one day, visit a theme park the next. You can even plan to go separate ways. If Dad and sons want to visit a Car Show, Mom and the girls can go shopping. After all in the family have finished dreaming, it is time to figure the cost. A day in Tucson or Phoenix to visit museums and have lunch may be all the time and money your family can afford this year with a plan to save for next year's visit to Legoland, Sea World, Disneyland or Washington, D. C.

     Consider the opportunities your trips and time will give your children for learning. Experiences you have are memories you share, whether it is a stagecoach ride in Tombstone or a train ride to or from Tucson. Visit places with a history: Fairbank, Slaughter Ranch, Tombstone Courthouse, Fort Bowie, Cochise Stronghold, San Xavier Mission, Tumacacori, Tubac. All of these sites are here in Southern Arizona easily accessible for a one-day trip or picnic.

     Summer is the time to add to your children's general knowledge. The more they know, the more ideas they will have to consider, read and write about. The more knowledge you as "summer teacher" provide for your children, the smarter they will be when they resume school.

SUPPORT ENHANCES LEARNING

As you enable your children's own choices, you must also support what they decide to do. Planning and patience need to be a part of choice. Self-regulation will give them the skill to make better choices. Self discipline or self-regulation is a skill to be taught from an early age.
A wise parent will use childhood to prepare a child for success as an adult. Self discipline is one of the most important character qualities a child can develop.  www.imom.com/7-ways-to-teach-self-control
Support your children telling them they must practice self-control in order to make good decisions. Whether to spend their time playing games or learning a new skill will be their decision. However, you must take time to help them understand that their decisions will control their lives daily. We choose to play because of the pleasure it gives us, but if we control our "play time," we can strengthen our self-control. Giving children the power to choose grows control over their own actions, behavior and emotions. Through your conversations with your children, you can point out the advantages of good choice and self-control. You can support them in their decision-making by talking of the consequences or results of their decisions and choices BEFORE they make a decision.   This is a necessary conversation for you to have with your children.
Children with poor self-control and planning abilities are more likely to have aggressive behavior problems or to experience worry and depression. They are more likely to make poor choices as far as eating, cheating, smoking, and are more likely to be attracted to alcohol and/or drugs.
Brains seek a kind of balance between difficult tasks and easy rewards. By working hard and learning the value of hard work and task completion, even children experience satisfaction. By taking time to play and explore, we increase chances of discovering new opportunities. None of this can be accomplished if our children continually tie themselves and their days (especially during the summer) to the computer, iphone, or tablet.
You encourage decisions good for each of your children by helping them to consider the value of their time. You can encourage decisions and support your children in their choices of summer activities. You can plan as a family a trip or stay-cation to give them opportunities to grow in their ability to choose wisely, whether to learn and explore or bury themselves in their favorite video games. You can teach them self-control as you visit historical sites for them to learn through exhibits and demonstrations while keeping their iphone in their pockets.
You can teach your children how to make good choices, practice self-control and make better decisions about their time and money by setting an example in your own lives. It seems that thinking in order to demonstrate and promote these valuable skills is out of vogue.   Reestablish them to support their growth in your family and your lives.

Parents: Plant Seeds
   A garden requires patient labor and attention. Plants do not grow merely to satisfy ambitions or to fulfill good intentions. They thrive because someone expended effort on them. Liberty Hyde Bailey
And so it is with children. Parents need to plant seeds of wanting to learn more (curiosity) and how we make it happen (creativity). Planting the seeds of curiosity and creativity takes time, attention, love and a desire to have something new and unique come into our world. These can be assets parents and children develop together.
   Creativity is becoming a stronger learning focus because art and design are now so integrated into our culture, largely due to the rise of technology...no longer ornamental, but fundamental. Lee Watanabe Crockett
Creativity is important because it builds children's confidence and encourages their curiosity. Thinking about new ways to make or do something is good for children AND parents and grandparents as well as children. Adults thinking out loud as they act can plant seeds of thought in children. Guiding and encouraging children to be creative is important to the children's futures in the job market. It is as essential for science and math as it is for art and music; it is necessary for social and emotional intelligence. Being creative helps everyone be more flexible and better problem solvers. It helps all ages adjust to change , take advantage of new opportunities, and adapt to the rapid changes in technology.
   Creativity is more skill than inborn talent.   Christine Carter
Some ways adults can foster creativity in children are allowing time and space for them to think and plan on their own, permit them to explore ideas and do what they think they want to do, have children read for pleasure, make up silly sounds and lyrics, and encourage children to do things they have never done before. As often suggested, limit screen time and give children time to create and do things. https://www.brighthorizons.com/family-resources
   Be tolerant of grades and projects your children goof and always encourage them to take risks and find and learn new ways. Be proud of whatever creative ways they choose to follow.
Parents, put down your phone and close your laptop. Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and eager to question in order to grow curiosity and encourage creativity in your children.

APPETITE FOR LEARNING
Give your children an appetite for learning. Help them to gain knowledge. This is a good time for your young people to find out about the military--the Army, the Navy, the Marines, the Coast Guard, and their academies. They can also explore ROTC, procedures for getting into the military academies, scholarships and talk to veterans and those who have been in any of the above situations. Visit a veteran in retirement homes or in the neighborhood. Find out what courage it took to enter these services and why they did so.
There are others still with us who lived through the war years, especially World War II. They worked in factories that made munitions, clothing, and aircraft. They worked in offices that sent communications concerning the war. There were women and men who drove trucks and vehicles necessary for transporting troops and supplies. They were the people who packed K-rations so the troops would have food. They were scientists who worked on better aircraft and artillery. They were the citizens who used ration books, who sacrificed basic supplies so the military would have what they needed. Rationing was a way to limit scarce resources so that all would have enough. Gasoline was first, then food. At first, only butter, bacon and sugar were rationed. As the war wore on, meat, tea, jam, biscuits, breakfast cereal, eggs, lard, milk and canned and dried fruit. People bartered ration stamps and traded food.
Clothing was also rationed. Shoes, tires, and fuel oil were issued in limited supply so that those fighting the war would have enough.
Recycling was also introduced at this time. Metal, especially aluminum, paper and rubber were to be reused and recycled.
People planted "victory gardens" or drove out into the country (if they were fortunate enough to have a car and enough gasoline) to obtain fresh vegetables and fruit.
Americans were asked to conserve everything. Rationing was a sacrifice for all. Talk to your children about how they would have liked to have one egg a week or one set of clothes in a year.
Talk to people who have lived through years of the wars--World War II, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, Persian Gulf, Afghanistan, Iraq and the present time--who have lost loved ones and what they think about the commitment their veterans made. Talk and write about how a military family feels while their dad, brother, cousin fights on foreign lands. Ask them to share letters and communications they receive from their loved ones about the places they serve that help us to appreciate the freedom of not only living, but of having enough food and clothing.
Treat a veteran with humility, respect and honor for those men, women and families who have sacrificed so much of their time, years, dreams and lives for our country.

Think about what you can do for our country.
It is important for all of us to appreciate where we come from and how that history has really shaped us in ways that we might not understand. Sonia Sotomayer

Even Mistakes Aid Learning
Each life is made up of mistakes and learning, waiting and growing, practicing patience and being persistent. Billy Graham
Children make mistakes; it is part of their evolving humanity. Parents, grandparents, and caregivers need to use these occasions to teach and guide. Comments such as "You dummy! Why did you do that?" do not help your children grow. Such words tear down a child's self-confidence. The child may feel guilt for the act he/she does wrongly (external) or shame (internal). A mistake is an error in action, not a defect in the child. Give your children the freedom to make mistakes, to try again. Your children will then grow and learn through making mistakes.

Mistakes happen at home and school. If your children goof a project or recipe, encourage them to start again or use another way. Even as a toddler attempts to stack blocks, adults can encourage "starting again." Children must learn mistakes are not all bad. Mistakes were made that became discoveries or inventions: "slinky" or "silly putty" toys; corn flakes, potato chips and popcorn; Penicillin and post-it notes.

Children need to learn how to fail as to succeed. Children must learn that they are not perfect nor are any others around them. Parents must support their children and teach them how to handle mistakes as they teach other life skills by doing the following things:
Let your children do their own thing so they can experience doing independent work.
Supervise, but do not "do" for your children.
Allow your children to problem-solve and think on their own.
Guide your children with questions that provoke their thinking. "What do you think? How can you figure it out? Why do you think it does that? Can you make it better?"
Let them lose a game. They will figure out strategies to win if given the opportunity.
Guide your children in their choice of school classes. Students often make the mistake of taking "easy" classes only to find out they are a lot more work.
Children may make the mistake of wanting their work to be perfect. By doing it over and over again, they may miss the chance to show their best effort and skill, and lose time.
Procrastinating is another mistake children make. They wait too long, and with more time, thought, patience and effort, they could have made their work shine. It is shallow and superficial when they try to complete it at the last minute.
Discourage your children from imitating others or using another's words. They run the risk of plagiarizing (using illegally) and not displaying their own ideas and originality. The work they do requires their thought, their time and their effort.
Help your children set goals. This gives them space to prioritize their time and know their best way to think, create and plan.
Confidence and success do not come from how smart your children are, but how they handle the mistakes they make.

SUMMER RESOLUTIONS

Have you made your summer resolutions yet, parents, grandparents, caregivers? Are you making sure your children have healthy food to grow their brains? Are you asking them questions that make them think and figure things out?

To improve their memory, are they getting plenty of veggies, especially green ones? Are their "sweets" berries and cherries for their snacks? Getting them used to eating fish--salmon and tuna-- because these are essential for good brain health. Omega 3 fatty acids may help improve memory in healthy children and teens. Keeping a dish of walnuts for snacking instead of chips is a healthy habit. If you put different flavoring, such as cinnamon or seasoned salt in a plastic bag and shake to coat the nuts, the children will enjoy walnuts more. You may even think of different flavoring that your children would enjoy and still get the health benefits. Eating healthy food continues to build their brains so that when school starts, they are eager and ready to learn Over time, these foods can support lifelong good health and great learning.

There are other skills you and your children can practice this summer. According to Kathy Hirsh-Pasek in her book Becoming Brilliant: What Science Tells Us About Raising Successful Children, there are five C's you can grow in your children to prepare them for their success in school.
The first one is collaboration--being social, navigating relationships and being a citizen in a community (caring). Talking with your children about how they interact with others--their peers as well as older adults.

Then there is communication: writing, reading, speaking and listening. These are skills I have written about in previous columns--how to get your children to read, write and talk about their ideas.

Content is next. If you and your children do not read or listen to news or read this newspaper, you have nothing to "speak" (talk) about or even write about. You must have material to think so that you can form ideas or solutions in your minds.

Critical thinking is important. Not only is it good to read and fill your minds with ideas, it is important to evaluate their usefulness. Do they add to your knowledge and understanding of things? Or do they just entertain you? It is necessary to talk to each other to determine whether the ideas you get are worth filing in your brain or discarding.

Next is creative innovation, the ability to put your ideas into action. How could you help that homeless person on the corner in this heat? Do you think you could design a portable shelter for him to carry with him?

The final "C" is confidence to not only think of things, but to actually do something, to take the safe risk of actually creating a solution and carrying it through. It could be as simple as a better way to make their bed or walk the dog.

Think in terms of a summer's resolutions, not a year's.

CONFIDENT KIDS

Did you realize as you talked to your children (held conversation with them and taught them how to talk to others), you were giving them self-confidence? As you taught your children to listen and ask questions to help them understand, you were giving them confidence? There are also other ways to make your children more self-confident and several websites to help you as a parent to do so.

Become confident persons yourselves. Work to heal your past. If you felt that you did not have good parents, you can develop confidence that you can be a better parent. You are your children's model. If they sense you are confident in your decisions and daily life, they will pick up on that.

Most of the behavioral problems that I see for counseling come from poor self-worth in parents as well as children...your child looks to you as a mirror of his own feelings. Dr. Sears (www.askdrsears.com)

www.parents.com suggests you allow children to make their own decisions from a young age so that your children will gain confidence in their own judgment. Allow them to learn from their "falls" and mistakes. Help them to know it is ok to make mistakes, to feel sad, anxious, or angry. We all learn to succeed by overcoming obstacles. Evaluate what causes them to feel that way and help them to come up with solutions to the situation if it should occur again. How can they have more success next time? What can they do to help themselves and others to feel better? Help your children to know that everyone learns at their own pace and to have patience with themselves. Praise the specific thing that made the difference. Not "good job" but "I like the way you helped Jenny by making her smile."

Nurture their special interests. Observe your children while you are listening to them. Watch them as they actually play, not how they participate in video games. You can learn about what they like to do and encourage them to try related tasks. (www.care.com) If they like to draw, have them draw themselves doing something they would like to do. Maybe give them the opportunity to take lessons. As they develop experience with one talent, that will give them the confidence to attempt others until they discover "passion" for a specific interest.
Help your children feel they are needed. Give them responsibilities or chores at home. Even a two-year-old can help you dust furniture or set the table. Tell them "I couldn't do this without your help."

A small thing you can do is use your children's names when you talk to them. This helps them feel special and that you recognize their uniqueness by calling them by their name.
You spend the early years with your children developing their self-confidence and the later years, protecting it. You are the expert raising your children. Feel confident yourselves and your children will, too.

Happiness for Your Children

"Happiness without meaning characterizes a relatively shallow, self-absorbed., or even selfish life, in which things go well, needs and desire are easily satisfied ... "

Few parents grasp the essential meaning of happiness for their children and fewer still understand how they can help their children to find it. Jim Taylor, Ph.D

Studies consistently link self-esteem with happiness. Parents can help their children be happy when they praise their efforts rather than the result of their children's activities. When parents praise their children for their creativity, persistence that goes into achieving rather than the achievement itself, they give them confidence. Let children do for themselves what they are capable of. Give them repeated practice or attempts to master essential skills, like you did when they were very young--how to walk, how to feed themselves, how to ride a bike.

Parents should foster a "growth mindset," giving children the idea that people achieve through hard work rather than innate talent. Children will do better and enjoy their lives if they do not need to worry about what others think. They need to know that everything they attempt will not turn out perfectly, but that every attempt is practice--a step toward achieving their goal. Their real happiness will be in achieving that goal, whether it is making more baskets in basketball or learning a new skill. Children learning through repeated attempts learn to approach future challenges with optimism and confidence.

If you give your children choices, you will be rewarded with a big smile from a happy child. Children need to know THEY matter and what they decide is something that matters and is valued by you and others. When children are calm and satisfied with their decisions, they experience greater happiness.

Listen to your children. When children feel they are truly listened to, they feel more connected, increasing their self-confidence and overall happiness. Look at your children as they talk to you and be genuinely interested in what they have to say. If they are experiencing hurtful remarks or being left out, help them to find a way to respond through asking how they think they can handle the situation the next time. It takes practice here also to know how to act in social situations. When children know their parents are there for them, they are happy.
Two websites that may be helpful to you if you still need help to give your children lasting happiness are "7 Secrets of Highly Happy Children," a blog by Katie Turley on www.huffingtonpost.com and "Parenting: Raising Happy Children," by Jim Taylor(https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-prime/200910/parenting-raising-happy-children.)

Happy, optimistic children are the product of happy, optimistic homes. Children loved, understood, wanted and acknowledged emerge as the biggest protection against emotional distress, suicidal thoughts, and risky behaviors.

Vision More Than Seeing

Vision goes beyond eyesight and can best be defined as understanding what is seen. Vision involves the ability to take incoming visual information, to process that information, and obtain meaning from it. Dr. Donald J. Getz, OD, FCOVD, FAAO

On the website www.children-specialneeds.org/vision_therapy/esophoria_reading.html, Dr. Getz clearly explains possible vision problems. Since vision is learned, it is trainable. If there is any interference in visual pathways, a child will not develop to his maximum potential.

Your child's vision is essential to his success in school. Vision problems can affect learning ability, personality, and adjustment in school. Your child's avoidance of activities requiring reading, such as schoolwork or homework may be due to poor vision. Children who exhibit poor handwriting, reverse letters, dislike or have difficulty with reading activities, such as reading required in other subjects, consistently mistakes his left for his right or vice versa, seems intelligent but is not working up to his/her potential may be having vision problems.

The vision tests which schools give early in the school year test a child's acuity, whether he is farsighted or nearsighted. These tests do not detect whether a child's eyes are teaming together, focusing, tracking or visualizing correctly. A child may have blurry or double vision; he may be skipping lines or misreading sections of what he is supposed to be reading. He may seem to have a short attention span or trouble remembering what he reads.

Because children do not know how they should be seeing, they may not know why they are having trouble or what normal vision is. The longer a child has a vision problem, the more her brain will work to make up for it. This can lead to future problems that will be harder to treat.
Your child's eyes may have inadequate convergence problems. Eyes need to work together, to aim inward to the reading task. If they fail to do this, if they have problems refocusing from one line to the next. Your child may be struggling to read, not understanding what he/she is reading, and not learning from reading. Children may only be using one eye to read which further complicates the processes of learning and reading.

Visual therapy is for the eyes and visual system as physical therapy is for treating muscles of the body. The first step of a vision therapy program is a thorough evaluation by a qualified doctor or optometrist trained to detect such problems. Children struggling to learn may increase their visual attention spans and improve their academic performance by reducing the effects of their vision problems using such equipment as prisms, eye patches, filtered lenses, computerized systems as well as a variety of other specialized equipment.

Before you allow your children to be diagnosed incorrectly as ADHD or special education students, have their eyes checked thoroughly.

Challenges aid Learning

Challenge is something that calls for special effort. Challenge is something that invites competition, even within one's self. Challenge insists upon taking a stand or making a point. Challenge is healthy for us.

Society sets standards to achieve that are a challenge. Learning is a challenge. Challenges take choices. "Should I continue or should I give up?" If your children consider tests, lessons, subjects as challenges, they can use them to grow. Your children have accepted the challenges of state tests and now, they are ready to move on to new challenges.

The website www.highexistence.com  supplies several challenges that might combat "spring fever" in your children.

Suggest they study a topic they would like to master, or know more about.
Get them to read a new article on their ipad or computer each day OR go on a "media-fast." If using digital is becoming too bad a habit, stop information overload for 30 days, 7 days, or even one day. Try living simple.

Pick one bad habit (Do your children play too many video games?) and ditch it for a week, then two weeks, then 30 days.

Accept problems as challenges to solve to encourage their working together, brain storming, just plain thinking and creating. Provide them with junk, scraps, cardboard and watch how they meet the challenge. Give them all sizes of paper to use for cutting, pasting, drawing, even newspaper with markers. Help them develop an obstacle course, a scavenger or treasure hunt. Help them have fun as you challenge them.

Perhaps your children could practice a random skill--dance, exercise, cooking, a new craft, a new or creative way to do tiresome chores or homework.

Write daily in a journal or create a new poem, story or article. Wake up early each day.

Read a chapter of a great book each day.   Wake up early each day.
The challenge might be to wake up on time each day.
Don't accept lies. If you as parent encourage truthfulness, there will be no need to lie.
Help your children develop self love. This is not being too arrogant or humble. It is accepting yourself as you are. Assist children in developing an emotional skillset to accept parts of themselves which they might not like very much. They should stop fighting their frustrations and start accepting them as an integral part of life itself. Self love and self acceptance are crucial to accepting and loving those around us.

The biggest challenge of life is to be yourself in a world trying to make you like everyone else.

If your children accept the challenge to be themselves and do better and be better, they will grow steadily. Growth starts with the decision to move beyond their present circumstances. If they do not accept challenges, they will not move forward.

Challenges are really just a test to see how much they deserve success.

Help your children accept challenges with encouragement and patience and to feel good when they meet challenges and grow through them.

BALANCE AIDS LEARNING

Balance use of your children's time between digital and exercise. Even though your children may be fascinated with their new digital devices, you are in charge. Set a time limit on how much they can use their smart phones and tablets. Monitor the apps they use. Then send them outside without their new "toys." Take them for a walk, bike ride or game of soccer. Teach them to "deep breathe" to get the health benefits this offers.

Help them to balance their time between digital entertainment and online learning. There are so many free apps that help them to gain knowledge. Parents and grandparents, learn with your children. You may not know how to operate all the programs on your computer, but you can encourage your children and grandchildren to help you locate information and knowledge using a computer or laptop YOU got for Christmas.   Education is not just getting the paper qualification; it is about lifelong learning. Parents and grandparents can learn and help their children learn without breaking the bank.

Balance children's time with people. Family is important, and the time spent with family creates bonding that will carry them through their future lives. Parents need to arrange time with their children such as local "field trips," games and travel to help children learn about others, to see grandparents and to enjoy the company of extended family. "Cousins are connected heart to heart. Distance and time can't keep them apart." Help them to treat their friends as "cousins," but not to neglect their family.

Help them to enjoy other gifts they got for Christmas, not just the digital devices. Playing with their gadgets develops their imagination. Games help children to focus their attention and stimulate cognitive development. Thinking of other ways to use their gadgets and devices contributes to children's personal growth and may interest them in hobbies that could turn into businesses in their forthcoming lives. Building blocks and legos may develop new architectural ideas and drafts. Designing clothes for themselves or doll models may help girls know they can be creative to realize their value as female. After all, children are developing human beings, future innovators and organizers.

Balance their use of the money they received for Christmas between wants and needs. Children may want to spend all of their money on entertainment. Teach them to save, share and then spend. Teach them to delay gratification, not to spend now when they may want or need something far more satisfying later. Your money habits as parents have a strong influence on your children's money habits even when they are very young. Children as young as seven years old can understand "Do you really need that now? Do you really want candy now when you can save for a Light Saber when we go to Disneyland?"

Considering how to balance your children’s daily lives is worth your time.

Children's Integrity: Gift for a Lifetime

What is integrity?  Why is it "a gift for a lifetime"?

Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching. C.S. Lewis

Integrity is a mindset that parents need to develop in their children, especially now--when so many parents are working during the days when their children are home alone.  In some cases, grandparents or extended family will care for younger children. Babysitters may be employed to insure the safety and feeding of children. In many cases, older children will be asked to be responsible for their younger siblings.  Older siblings will be asked to represent their parents for the care, learning and safety of their younger brothers and sisters.

Before school resumes, parents need to spend time with their children--helping them to know integrity. Parents teach integrity by what they say, how they say it, what they do, and how they do it.  Parents need to walk the talk.  They need to develop a mind and heart for integrity.  By taking time to talk about doing the right thing "even when no one is watching," parents teach integrity is not only making the right decision at that moment, but every time a decision is to be made.
Parents can invent situations that children could face.  What would you do if...if Bobby fell and was bleeding...if Susy started to get sick...if your boy friend wanted to come over while you were helping Bobby with his math...your friend wanted you to go shopping when you were babysitting your little sister......if there was fire or an emergency?
Taking time to chat about values and doing the right thing might be more important than doing chores to your expectations. Help children emphasize with other people.  How would you feel...if Susy got hurt when you were watching TV... if Bobby broke one of Mom's best bowls while you were texting your friends?  Sure, your friend may be hurt if you can't go shopping with her but it will pass. How would Mom feel if her coveted dish was broken and you lied about it?
Use the example of being a friend.  There is trust, truth and respect in a friendship that is real and lasting.  Friends admire when their pals do the right thing.  Teach all your children to value who they are so they can be trusted with responsibility. To stand up for what is right and to do the right thing is an assurance that parents can expect from children if parents talk about it with their children.

If you take the time to talk to your children about doing the right thing for the right reasons, even when they are not being watched, they will feel your love, earn your trust, and grow into valued adults living integrity in their lives.
Ways to grow your children's integrity and why it is important are given on the website--www.rootsofaction.com/integrity.

LOVE THAT LEARNING!

Perhaps you need to step back and see if you are preparing your children, through their education, for a lifetime of learning. Students in our communities should be able to score higher than "minimally proficient" with the help of their teachers, and especially you, their parents. You must be interested and eager to learn beside your children.

The working system is stacked against those without an education. Beverly D, Flaxington "Loving Learning"-- a blog on Psychology Today

Without a love of learning, your children will never become educated. Schools are changing; educators are realizing that each human being can contribute to learning now as well as becoming a force in the future of their community and life. They are seeking ways to help your children learn to think. Attempt to understand what they are doing and ask at your next parent-teacher conferences what you can do to help. Ask the teacher how he/she and your school are adjusting their instruction to meet your children's needs. In the meantime, be interested in what your children are doing with their time in school. Find out what they are learning and provide opportunities for them to read more and even write to you about the topics they are investigating within their school day.

Test scores and report cards may be indicators of how your children are learning. They will improve through future years if you learn your children's strengths and weaknesses and help them to grow more confident in their ability to learn more and better.

Take walks with your children; encourage them to look all around them, to see people and what they are doing, to hear the sounds, smell the air and flowers, feel the breeze, even count the cars, or cracks in the sidewalk. Take them shopping with you and figure how much things cost or how much each one costs if several are offered for sale. Take your children on trips to places where they can learn more about what they are learning in school. Allow your children to move around instead of sitting to complete their school projects. Moving and even doing exercises wakes up their brain to do better thinking.

Nine tenths of education is encouragement. Feed their curiosity while they are young, so that they will use this incentive to learn more and better as they grow older.

Education is what remains when one has forgotten what one learned in school. Albert Einstein

MANAGE MONEY, MASTER MATH
More than half of parents lack confidence and knowledge of how to manage money and help their children. (www.thisismoney.co.uk)

Children should learn about money at a young age. Tweens have unrealistic ideas of how to handle money. Teenagers are ill-prepared to venture into the world on their own due to their lack of knowing how to manage money.

Parents can teach their young children how to count money, the value of each coin and how to put the coins together to buy something. Together, parents and children can boost math skills using these simple methods.

Older children can be taught how to save for something they really want, rather than "impulse buying" -- purchasing something immediately without thinking of their need or want for that item. They can be taught that "designer labels" on their jeans and clothes are fleeting and unnecessary. Children can learn that thrift store purchases serve their needs as well.

Parents can learn how to handle money alongside their children. Help teens to manage their first wages from baby-sitting, mowing lawns, and other entry level positions such as at McDonald's or Burger King. They can save 10% in a container at home, maybe invest 10% in a bank or credit union savings and investment account, provide for their own needs, such as food or new clothes--30-40%, and lastly, guilt-free spending such as a milkshake, movie, or other treat, 20-35%. Teaching young people to budget not only teaches math skills. They learn patience, responsibility, independence and goal setting. (See Kid Scoop in this issue about Goal Setting.) Get your teens involved in family money matters. Teach them about household bills, such as electricity, phone and credit cards, even sharing your pay statement.

Give all children money-related activities, such as matching what they save each week and how much they can save by looking for the best deals. Do they really save by buying on sale? Parents need to work with their children so that the children understand where money comes from. Children see parents go to a store to pick out groceries or clothes and hand over a plastic card. Sometimes, the parents even get cash to put into their wallets as well as having bags of goods to carry home. Children can understand from age seven that you must have money in order to spend it.
There are online games--Esperian's Values, Money and Me and Dr. Arinola Araba's bMoneywize that all in family can learn together. Set a family savings goal, like a vacation, a new TV or a family-day-out (a movie, trip, or treat) and share progress with children.

Websites that may help are https://www.lovemoney.com (Money Lessons for Kids: How to Teach Your Children Under 11 About Finances; Money Lessons: Teach Your Teenager About Essential Personal Finance); https://moneyskills.uk.barclays/Resources/YoungPeople.

Parents consider that teaching their children about money may be more important than telling them about "the birds and bees" or how to cook.

VIDEO GAMES AS GIFTS
Are you considering video games as gifts? Are you thinking what great gifts they would make for all the in your family, even your extended family? Let me share some thoughts with you.
Video gaming presents an imaginary world detached from reality and provides "escapes" from everyday tasks. In the make-believe world of video games, you and your children can be unrealistic and do impossible unrealistic things. Just remember, it is all imagination.

Another problem might be spending inordinate amounts of time doing absolutely nothing meaningful, engaging in a pastime that has no real goal, no accomplishment and no deeper meaning. The player is being entertained by video games. Although there are some games that are educational, they, too, can become addictive.
A study in Neurology Now, the publication of the American Academy of Neurology, found that nine out of ten children play video games and that excessive gaming before the age of 21 can physically rewire the brain. Like drugs, video games provide instant gratification, a dependency similar to heroin addiction that diminishes dopamine in the brain, a necessary neurotransmitter that controls the brain's reward and pleasure centers. Dopamine also regulates movement and emotional responses. Long term deficiency of dopamine can result in Parkinson's disease (www.psychologytoday.com).

Extreme video gaming allows the imagination to cloud the intellect and weaken the will. Players that are vulnerable to suggestion may see a virtual world as "real." Even in games such as "Angry Bird," impulse and imagination rule. In games such as "Grand Theft Auto," "Call of Duty," and "Gears of War," players do crazy things that would be crimes in "real life." Some players even lose their basic instinct of self-preservation when playing steadily for many hours without stopping for food or drink. "Grand Theft Auto V" is so realistic, it places players on actual California streets. Even in my family, boys give credit for their split decisions and ability to act dangerously and crazily to their ability gained through playing video games.

So, what other gifts can you give?

Schedule time off the computer and find meaningful activity, not always the "entertainment" of little value that might even lead to harmful consequences.
Read books that uplift minds, inspire souls and strengthen wills.
Visit real places with your family and friends--a park, library, museum, beach. Explore new places and learn new things in the real world.
Find physical activities to fill your children's time--walks, sports, camping, hiking. Build their stamina and health through movement.
Play board games, card games, charades. Plan family game nights during your children's holiday vacation. Invite friends. Develop hobbies to enjoy with friends and family.
Have face-to-face conversations instead of those on Facebook. Enjoy facial and emotional expressions that you can see.

Video gaming does not satisfy the yearning of the soul for a life of meaning and purpose. Why pretend to be fake heroes when you and your children can grow into real heroes for each other in your lives?

REMODEL ARCHIVE (ages 13 and up)

Discipline is Your Duty
If you love your children, you will discipline them when they need it. If you love your children, you will be the one in charge. If you love your children, you will show them behavior acceptable to your family, friends, and society.
Discipline is not “old fashioned” or “out-of-date." It is one of our greatest needs right now, in our modern world. Humans simply must learn to behave and to live beside each other peacefully.
When you discipline your children, you are not being mean. Sensible discipline is a sign to your children that you care and are not out just to punish them, but to prepare them for their future. Disciplining children is more than making them behave for the time being. It is teaching your children to behave for a lifetime.
Too soon, they will be adults with the privilege of driving a car and owning a gun. They must have a conscience to handle these responsibly. Building conscience is what discipline is all about. There are right ways and wrong ways to exist in our world.
You have the duty to be direct and firm in helping your children know what is acceptable and what is not. You get right down to their eye level and tell them plainly why a particular kind of behavior is needed. You must be clear and distinct. “You have to stop what you are doing, and this is why...” You try not to be angry, but truly showing your children that you believe in what you say.
It takes time for ideas to sink in, for children to learn to control their impulses and emotions. It takes your patience and even your repetition. You must be consistent. Children like to test to see if you remember.
If you use punishment as a way of discipline too often, you build resentment in your children. It is better to build and use the strong civilizing loving bond between parent and child. Children will feel close to their parents and want to imitate their ways. Children need dads and mothers who think on their feet, are consistent and yet, flexible enough to use a variety of ways to discipline. Then children have a chance to become decent human beings and adults parents can be proud of.

Financial Tools for Tweens and Teens
  Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. Ayn Rand
Too many of us and our children have gotten caught in traps that money has caused, or rather the lack of money knowledge. It is up to parents to help their children avoid these traps. When you are having conversations with your children, include those about money often.
esperian.com suggests the following steps to help children manage their money.
A budget is a financial plan based on income and expenses. Parents need to set goals and learn to live within their means. Children see how parents manage their money. Talk to your children as you shop.
As children get older, parents can share their household budget with children to show them where the money goes. Explain the bills that need to be paid and why you might be saying “no” to their latest request.
Help your children make healthy choices. Look for the best prices in newspaper or magazine ads and online for the things they want. Help them to save their own money for the desired item or ask for it as a future gift. You can help your children have confidence handling their money as they prepare for their financial future by helping them to be frugal. BUSY KIDS might be an app to help. Talk with them about ideas for earning their own money through opportunities such as performing services for others--babysitting, tutoring younger children, pet-sitting, or yard work. Explore ideas for their own business, such as designing greeting cards to sell or showing seniors how to use their computers or iPads. Encourage them to use their imaginations for a new business they might create.
Never stand begging for that which you have the power to earn. Miguel de Cervantes
Help your children to see using credit cards is really borrowing money that must be paid back on time, over time. Help your tweens and teens know about credit reports and credit scores. When your children see you using your digital devices to pay, help them to know it is not money at the touch of a button but money that is deducted from your checking or savings account.
Give your children lessons about money for their future lives. Talk about money daily, give your children guidance and help them make smart money decisions. Give them Dave Ramsey’s book Smart Money, Smart Kids. Help them know that money is only part of their lives, but that knowing how to use it is important. Discuss with them their needs versus wants, weighing their decisions and understanding the outcomes of those decisions.

Money Management
Do your children know where their money comes from? Do they know where YOUR money comes from? Do they have any idea how to use their money wisely? These are lessons that are vitally important for your teens. You give them food, a place to sleep, some chores (hopefully) and money.
According to a survey commissioned by MYBANKTRACKER.com, more than half of Americans believe children should begin to handle their own money before age 18. Giving them a weekly allowance that needs to last them through the week with no other contributions from you (consistently, parents), helps your teens to learn through experience what it takes to stretch their money, how to spend and save it for what they want. Parents are not the bank. You might even show them how you manage your money using a program on the internet or keeping your income and expenses in a book.
Help them to establish a bank account to call their own. As your teens grow older, they might have a job. They will need to manage the money they are paid--paying themselves through savings, spending for their necessities, and then enjoying some.
For kids before high school, a savings account may be enough to help them learn to save for the bigger things they may want, like a new skateboard or bike. During early high school years, teens could have a checking account with your supervision. Parents should make opportunities to advise and teach better ways to manage their money and bank accounts
Pursuing financial independence should be the goal for your children even before they begin to acquire student loan debt. How can you and they finance their education without acquiring a mountain of debt they will need to pay back for the rest of their lives? Maybe, they can research scholarships, not only in sports, but in their passions in other fields. Some nationalities offer scholarships to those of their nationality. For medical training, there is such a demand that with an interest in that field, they may find many unused opportunities. Thinking about a military career may give them opportunities they might never have imagined. Seeking internships, paid or unpaid, may open doors for them.
Discussing how money is used well and wisely in their lives might save your children a multitude of headaches in their future. It is worth a try.

Good Ways to Use Tech
When young people use tech wisely, they can reap huge rewards, but it is up to adults—parents and caregivers to see that they do. Summer can either increase or addict your children more to screen time and cause your children to be harder to handle and more aggressive. This may be due to the lack of sleep and proper nutrition and exercise. Children of all ages need balance in their lives and this includes their use of screen time and technology.
Technology should improve your life...not become your life. Billy Co
Young people's brains are still developing and may be more sensitive to the aspects of technology and its overuse than adult brains. Poor academic performance, lack of attention and delayed social and emotional development may result. Vision issues can occur because of too much time staring at their screens. Poor posture and pain in their head, neck and shoulders can happen. A sedentary life style due to lack of exercise can lead to obesity and cardiovascular disease. Using tech too close to bedtime stimulates the brain and causes sleep disturbances. The overuse of technology can have a significant impact on developing children and teenagers. medicalnewstoday.com
Positive things happen with technology also. It helps children develop their brains and teaches them new things. It can promote problem solving and give them practice in using technology to simplify daily activities. Reinforcing and expanding their ability to use technology to explore ideas and concepts can help them make better decisions.
Children need to be taught how to manage their time, especially screen time.Parents and adult caregivers can help by being attentive to their children’s use of their time. Using the 20-20-20 rule for tech use is one way. After every 20 minutes of screen time, they should take a 20 second break to look at something 20 feet away. Better yet, take time to stretch, exercise or get a snack. Adults are responsible to see that tech time does not interfere with play, eating or exercise time. Your pre-teens and teens can be encouraged to explore computer science and the use of artificial intelligence in health, science, and business. Parents can join their children on screen or provide interesting alternatives for off-screen time. Families can enjoy using tech to go geocaching together.
Above all, parents and adult caregivers should be alert to their children’s safety by making use of parental controls. Adults need to make sure appropriate boundaries and rules for their family’s use of technology are followed by all in the family and enforced CONSISTENTLY.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. Albert Einstein

Quiet Time
Quiet time allows young people the chance to sit in silence with their own thoughts and feelings. This time gives them time to focus, to build their attention span, to be mindful, to quiet their minds in order to help regulate their emotions and develop self-control. Silence is good for concentration, memory and mood.
Quiet boosts the body's immune system, benefits brain chemistry by growing new cells, calms minds and restores balance.
Creativity flourishes. It gets minds in full creative swing. Inspiration to attempt new and easier ways to do things grows in quiet minds. Solutions to present or long-standing problems may suddenly appear. There is no need to impress anyone but one’s self.
Quiet time gives parents time to become calm and rested. This makes for happier families.
Silence speaks so much louder than screaming tantrums. Never give anyone an excuse to say you are crazy. Taylor Swift
How do you become quiet? Just stop, breathe, and sit or lie in a comfortable position.
This pandemic may not be as devastating as you share these quiet moments with your tweens and teens. You can bring back the good feeling we all get by being around those we care about. We might become wiser from the challenges we face and come to a deeper understanding of the importance of relationships in our family and our community.
Everything created comes out of silence. Your thoughts emerge from the nothingness of silence. Your words come out of this void. Your very essence emerged from emptiness. All creativity requires some stillness. Wayne Dyer
We might need this quiet time even more than we need the busy time. Being quiet might encourage our minds and bodies to slow down.

Teen Innovators
Innovation is the action required to create new ideas, processes, or products which when implemented lead to positive effective change.
This is what businesses crave. This is your children’s future – to create solutions and new uses for products already being made or to create new uses for products already on the market.
How do you prepare your children for this kind of future?
According to fastcompany.com, allowing your teens to play. Inspiring your children to be curious is another way you can help your children explore diverse ways to see things and to do things. Maybe your older children can draw how they see something being used. This is observational drawing--observing and capturing the smallest details of line, shape, size, texture and turning what they are trying to draw in ways to give them a different perspective.
Art begins in imitation and ends in innovation. Mason Cooley
Parents can help their children develop passion by observing what children need to learn to satisfy their curiosity. What subjects do they want to study? What training do they need to pursue their dreams? What tools do they need to design their own investigations, to learn more?
Young people need to develop fearlessness. They need to attempt actions by taking risks and trying new things. hey are not going to learn to cook or build by watching videos about how. They are not going to learn how to do these things without trying them themselves.
There is a way to do it better. Find it. Thomas Edison
Doing some new things to make a difference in their own lives and the lives of others gives them purpose. It gives your older children the incentive to take risks and try new methods to solve challenging issues in our society. Fresh new ideas about how to garden or build are wanted and needed in our communities.
As your children become curious and try new things, do not discourage them because they goof.
There is no innovation and creativity without failure. Period. Brene Brown
The Wall Street Journal says by encouraging creativity in ways small and large...parents can help children develop skills needed for innovation. www.gerberlife.com/blog/how-to-teach-innovation-to-children/ provides insight for parents seeking to grow “kid innovators.” Approach everything as a new learning experience (even failure). Widen your children’s horizons by encouraging them to “try them all.” Help their desire to create become second nature. They can create instead of buying new. Help your children innovate.

Give Your Teens Wisdom
Solomon was a biblical king known for his wisdom. Would you want to be like him, making smart decisions without mistakes, pleasing to everyone in your family, with no conflict involved? All of us would like that, but you can help your teens make better decisions, another skill that may help their future be more successful.
First of all, you lead by your example. When you need to make major decisions, you need to discuss them with your family. Share each step of the decision you are trying to make. Expose your children to the real world where money does not grow on trees and where you use your credit card to buy something, which is really a loan you must pay back.
Share your mistakes also. “I wish I had not said that or spent that money...” Allow your teens to make mistakes, but do not punish them if they do not do what is acceptable or seems right to you. Talk to them and help them to learn so they do not repeat that action. What can they do the next time? How can they say something that will not be so harmful? Help them to learn from their mistakes.
Get to know your young people’s interests and help them to discover the things they like to do. This will enable them to search for the most satisfying way to spend their time and money.
Listen to the desires of your children. Encourage them and then give them the autonomy to make their own decisions. Denis Waitley
Recognize opportunities for your teens to know themselves, to appreciate their strengths and to recognize their weaknesses. They may be great talkers, but not great writers. They may enjoy reading books but be the last person chosen for a sports team. My son loved to draw but did not like to be in the outfield on a baseball team. Only by trying things will they discover themselves.
Stay involved in your children’s lives. Help them to solve conflicts with their siblings and friends by discussing what they have done and what they can do to make peace. Guide them in making decisions by discussing the outcomes or consequences of their actions. Show them ways to control their impulses by role playing what they look like when they are mad or act out.
Use games to help them think and make decisions quickly, to think on their feet. They can learn strategies that work to help them succeed in playing chess or video games.
Your children are influenced by your values and expectations. They will continue to do what they see you doing and thinking. parenting.firstcry.com has ideas for helping your children learn to make good decisions. This is an attribute that you can teach your children as they continue their journey to adulthood.
All through my life, when faced with a difficult decision, I always ask myself—where can I learn more. Make the choice to learn. Maria Ressa

Hope is in Your Horoscope
Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.  Thich Nhat Hanh
Hope is a learned response and a bigger determinant of success than intelligence, skill or previous success. It is your work as parent, grandparent, or caregiver to help your children stay hopeful. If your children have a higher “hope score,” they will be more successful at achieving academic and athletic goals. They will be able to recognize and make the best use of opportunities. With your children and yourself, if you make the choice to hope, you put yourselves in control of how you react to circumstances, knowing that you can draw on hope to see things in a new or different way. Hope strengthens us and expands our capacity to believe in our dreams and what is possible for us.
How do you develop hope?  First of all, you need to be optimistic, to believe that things will get better. You need
to set goals for yourselves and help your children to do so.  Having goals to work towards in one of the best ways
to have hope.
Hopes are the strands that run through our lives—our struggles, our successes and setbacks, our strengths and shortcomings. Realistic and reasonable hope can move us forward toward achieving goals and lift us up as we accomplish each step in attaining them  You and your children need to “high five” or pat yourselves on the back each time you move a step closer to your goals. If each one of you is setting and accomplishing a goal, you encourage and help each other. (www.wikihow.com). Hope breeds hope.
You can even schedule hope according to Noami Drew. You can create a daily 5-minute silence ritual and curtail your intake of the news.  Develop a mantra such as I am the key to hope. I am the key to peace in my family.
Using this time to make a difference in your lives gives you the opportunity to live your greatest promises and to develop your highest and best selves. Hope is energy, fuel for living. Hope is a necessity, an emotional engine and basis for engaging in life.
Hopeful thinkers achieve more and are physically and psychologically healthier than less hopeful people.
  Charles Richard Snyder
Treat your family to a healthy, hopeful life in spite of COVID 19.

Jumping Rope: An Antidote for Stress
Jump, and you will find out how to unfold your wings as you fall.  Ray Bradbury
I am not sure your wings will unfold as you jump rope. It is said that neither you nor your children need to jump that high to profit from jumping. Jumping has many benefits. It works your heart by pumping oxygen around your body more efficiently. It strengthens muscles in your upper and lower body as muscles move simultaneously. It expands lungs as you move air rapidly through them, and it relieves stress. Jump roping skill transfers to other athletics due to its “one-stop shop” for your whole body. It is also a great calorie burner. 10 minutes of non-stop jumping equals 30 minutes of jogging.
To get the most benefit from jumping or skipping rope, you need to have a good jump rope. A beaded rope is better than a cloth or vinyl one.  buyjumpropes.net has all kinds of beaded jump ropes for sale at very reasonable prices. They have jump ropes for all occasions, especially now for Christmas. They show you how to measure jump ropes for everyone in your family. By holding the handles as they reach your armpits while you are stepping on the rope, you can tell if the rope is the right size. If you need to adjust the rope, this website has a short video to tell you how to do that.
Your driveway may not be the best surface to jump rope on, but it is a convenient place for your family to gather. Wood is the best surface if your children want to help dad drag pieces of plywood for you to jump on. Maybe jumping inside on a mini-trampoline is good because it absorbs some of the shock and conditions your calf and leg muscles.
Mama exhorted her children at every opportunity to ‘jump at the sun.’ We might not land on the sun, but at least we would get off the ground.  Zora Neale Hurston
Another reason to use jump rope during this pandemic is to reduce stress. It decreases overall tension, elevates and stabilizes mood, improves sleep, lifts self esteem and improves balance. For your children, it develops both sides of the brain, improves spacial awareness and reading skills, increases memory and mental alertness.
Jumping rope can make your family less stressed and happier and increase the bonding your family needs through Covid 19.

Give of Yourself -- No Wrapping Necessary
Teens usually do not have the money to spend on gifts for members of their family but they can still have presents for others. Giving of themselves to help at this busy time of year is one of the best presents. Helping to shop or wrap gifts. Making cookies to give to family and friends and personalizing them to wrap in plastic wrap and put on the tree. Even young men could laugh and enjoy doing this.
Maybe sewing new Christmas stockings. How about learning to crochet a dishcloth or knit a colorful scarf? Could your young people assemble a robot for a younger member of your family? Could your older children spend time with the younger ones without complaining, but maybe letting you know good-naturedly that this is part of YOUR Christmas gift.
Anything they choose to do for others in their neighborhood or community are "feel-good" gifts to share, giving them peace and joy this season during pandemic sadness.

Reading – Book vs. Screen
The internet has brought about an explosion of reading. Maria Gilje Torheim
We all realize that reading is an important skill. Children should be read to at an early age for their success later in school and life, but is it better to read a book or on a screen?
Shared reading is beneficial for cognitive development, narrative comprehension and mental imagery. In other words, young people get the most value from reading as they think about the reading, understand what the reading is about and form pictures in their minds of the action they hear being read. Their vocabulary and pronunciation improve as they hear words read aloud. Research shows no difference in reading a book or on a device.
If a text is long, needs to be read carefully, and involves making notes, students often prefer printed material where they can go back to review or underline what they need to learn. There is better concentration and greater overview if a book is read than reading the same material on a small screen. Students may read faster on the screen but they will understand less. Children have a different mental attitude when they read on a screen.
If your older children must spend time in front of their screens whether for school or fun and connection, they risk eye strain, headaches, and fatigue. If your children are reading on their digital devices, especially on small screens such as a laptop or cell phone, their blink rate decreases and they may complain of dry eyes. If your children complain of headaches, show signs of excessive blinking, eye rubbing, or seem to be tired or cranky, maybe you should adjust the screen brightness down for indoor use. Placing your student's workstation perpendicular to windows may also help. If young people can’t see well, they struggle in their studies; be sure to get vision screenings if you notice any of the above signs of stress.
Books of all kinds can build children’s language and literacy skills, but they do so perhaps in different ways. Professor Daniela O’Neill

Work for Your Young People
Your young people may consider many ways to make their own money. Talk with them about their knowledge of the proposed "work," its requirements and the need to do it safely.
Babysitting is one of those. Many times, parents in your neighborhood ask your pre-teen or teen to care for their children occasionally. A visit to become acquainted with the children as a parent stays nearby might be a first step. Taking a course in babysitting or obtaining a certificate that states your teen knows how to do the best job will certainly be a plus. Checking out websites also gives an idea of what necessary information your young person may need from parents.
parenting.firstcry.com has an article about "Best Babysitting Games to Play With Kids" for several good ideas of what to do with the children.
Your pre-teens/teens obtain a reputation by doing a good job the first time they care for others' children which insures more work to come.
Help them to be prepared so that it will be a good experience for them.

Listening Skills for Your Young Adult's Future
Listening skills play a role in everything from doing well in scholarship and job interviews to being successful in their lives.
One of the best ways to gain a position and ensure success on a job is to exhibit that you are focused and understand what is going on. This is achieved through good listening skills. Karen Sherman

As students, young people learn to tune out and use only what they think are necessary details. Working with people in a classroom or workplace, they need to listen more carefully in order to get the whole story or problem necessary to be solved. This is accomplished by working together. They need to be able to bounce ideas off of other people and expand on their own ideas by careful listening. They need to listen to others' suggestions, absorbing them, and thinking about how to modify or change ideas to make them into workable solutions.
Parents need to encourage their young people to be better listeners by eliminating distractions including their phones, observe the tone of voice and body language of the speaker, listen for key words, information and implied statements, even acknowledge the speaker's feelings, opinions, and views. Making eye contact and nodding are important ways to let the speaker know they are listening.
If the speaker says something they do not understand, they should not be shy about asking questions or checking with statements like "Did I understand you correctly? Did you say...?"
Parents model listening skills by listening sincerely to their young people.

Chat Apps That Parents Need to be Aware Of
   As a parent, being aware of various social media platforms your young people are using can help prevent them from exposure to dangerous elements writes Paul Kamoko in his article on Parentology.com titled “8 Chat Apps That Parents Should Worry About.”
     The Homeschool Handbook cautions parents to check on computers, iPads and iPhones to make sure their children are following and learning internet safety and adhering to an internet “code of safety” because they care about their children and their future. Young people today are tech-savvy, but still need their parents’ interest and guidance.
    Mr. Kamoko offers knowledge of these social media sites:
SNAPCHAT gives the illusion of no-consequence messaging, but messages can be saved and stored by an external app. There is now an app for Snapchat that can let users hide their identity and this could be dangerous. Use Parental Controls to limit who can contact your kids and who views their stories.
YOLO uses Snapchat’s platform to post questions and answers anonymously. It also allows hate messages and has no parental controls.
TIK TOK allows users to share 3 to 60-second videos. Parents’ concern is that these videos may not be suitable for young children because the videos can use inappropriate language and pose risky and idiotic challenges. Supposedly, the platform is only for young people 13+, but parents must use Tik Tok’s parental controls to safeguard their children.
OMEGLE is a fee online chatting service that has no age verification. Your children can be identified if they turn on their web camera. There may be undesirable behavior in unmoderated chat rooms. This chat room can be especially dangerous and has no parental controls.
KIK is a free messaging app that is heavy with advertising. Your children will never know if they are talking to an ad-bot or a real person. Many users utilize this platform for sexting and privacy and there is no parental control.
GOOGLE HANGOUTS can be used by your children through your Google Business account without your knowledge. Although Google Docs and Google Classroom are to be used mostly for schoolwork and projects, these sites are not always monitored and can result in cyberbullying.
Warn your tweens and teens that not all people on the internet are who they say they are; they are not always telling the truth. Tell them not to go into “chat rooms” with people they do not know and without your knowledge.
Parents need to initiate conversations about their teens' use of computers, iPads and iPhones. If you know your tweens and teens are learning and adhering to good online behavior practices, you can check-in comfortably less often.
Remember, you are in charge. You pay the bills for such use and you need to care and guard your children of all ages.

Part-time Jobs
Your teen or tween might be itching to make some money. They just can't wait until they are old enough to get a "real job." You prepare you tweens now by suggesting things they can do to get ready.
They can volunteer at any age to help others. If they are responsible, reliable and on-time, they may even ask for a referral or recommendation they can use for a real job later.
Volunteering to help a young mother by playing with her children or reading aloud to them, they learn patience. If your tweens have developed a skill, like dancing or playing an instrument, they might teach younger children how to do so. How about writing a play, making costumes for it, directing it and helping its characters to memorize their lines and how to really act that character in the play, then perform it in your community.
It is an election year. Your teens can go in pairs and offer to work on the campaign of someone running for office or helping to register voters.
Your teens may find a non-profit that could use their help, like working with the local Humane Society or neighborhood child care.
They can start a book club with their friends or to encourage young readers by each reading the same book; your tween can lead the discussion of the book chosen for all to read.
If your teen volunteers or works for a small sum, they might not get rich but they will learn to give of themselves and even learn to budget their money. Remember, if saving, sharing, and spending as basic budgeting are stressed now, it will surely help them in the future. Above all be patient and watch for opportunities to help others. In doing so, it is amazing how much they help themselves.

Tech Watch
Your emerging adults still need your watchfulness, attention and interest in what they are accessing online. Social media such as Facebook, Instagram and YouTube may seem innocent enough for your teen to pursue, but there are many "new kids on the block." TikTok presents your children with even more choices as they produce sensational viral challenges. One of the most dangerous is MOMO which progressively shows or encourages evil, leading to KILL YOURSELF. There are health risks in viral challenges.
Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death in the 10-24 age bracket.
The old adage "Know where your children are at all times" becomes even more important in this digital age. Parents can put parental controls and watches on computers, iPads, and phones for younger children, but may find it hard to control what their older children are doing on their computers. www.commonsensemedia.com is a good source of protection and knowledge of what is good for your children of all ages.
Continue to have conversations with your children about their digital habits, providing safeguards and sharing knowledge of the websites and memes they contact on their laptops and computers.

Help Your Young People Through Websites
By now, you are probably amazed and thrilled with the technological skills of your young people. They seem to know the right websites and references to help them with their studies. They may challenge you to video games and win every time.
I understand they can use help with their English grammar, correct sentence formation, and choosing the most accurate wording. Such websites as EssayDog.com or Essaybot.com may be helpful. Dr. Assignment.com helps your young people write high quality assignments and reports especially as they prepare for college.
CollegeBoard provides practice tests in math, English, writing and college-level work for older students.
www.yourteenmagazine.com and yourteenmag.com may help answer other questions you have. You can even obtain a free digital magazine Parenting in a Pandemic by going to https://yourteen.mykajaki.com/free-digital-magazine. Seth Perler at SethPerler.com has some good advice for you and your children in his videos.
Your young people probably know other websites suggested by their classmates, teachers or area of study. The greatest help you can give is encouragement and patience.

The Challenge of Patience
Adolescents are harder to get along with. The best way to have patience with them is to model patience. Give your children this gift although having patience with them is a challenge.
When they encounter a roadblock to something they want or need, have them pause and just breathe. You will either get a reaction or a response.
When they react, they do things without thinking which is probably most of the time. When they react, they cause others to stress out and be hurt by their impulsive actions. It is ok for them to tolerate pain or discomfort; they push older children to change their attitudes and minds. If they can pay attention to what is happening inside themselves, they won't be blaming others for their discomfort or unhappiness. Help them understand how addictive their anger, irritation, and outrage can become and how damaging such reactions are to themselves and others. They must teach themselves to wait and be patient not only with themselves, but those around them. Maybe they need to stop doing things that are not important right now and that are causing them stress. Maybe they need to be mindful of the triggers or things that make them impatient.
If parents can calmly make time to encourage them to respond, you will help them to think about how they can solve their problems. They are attempting to act on their own by exploring possibilities in their own minds. Help them to empower themselves by controlling their emotions and feelings in order to experience a happier life for all.

Setting Realistic Goals with Your Older Children

Making time to listen to your older children as they attempt to find their way in life is vitally important. They need you to listen to them, to know what they want to do or accomplish in their lives. You may have your heart set on their attending your alma mater for college, but maybe they want to go to art or design school. Perhaps, going into a military service will give them the impetus and skills they need to make their way in the world.
If you have frequently made time for discussion and showed interest in the talents and abilities your children have developed throughout their schooling, the decisions they make now need to be respected. You can give them advice, but they may not listen as they stubbornly follow what they believe is the best way for them.
Remember this title. Just be there to help them set "realistic goals" in keeping with their interests, passion and ability

Managing Their Own Money
According to a survey commissioned by MyBankTracker.com, more than half of Americans believe children should begin to handle their own finances before age 18. Children in high school tend to become more independent intellectually and academically. Why not financially? Financial literacy has taken the spotlight as a large number of Americans struggle with how to manage their money.
Like many lessons in life, experience is often the best teacher. The same applies to educating children on how to manage their own money. Jason Reposa
Parents can help by setting up a bank account for their young people (a Christmas gift idea!). Young people can take true ownership for their money, including the deposit, withdrawal, spending and saving. Since many banks and credit unions require an adult account holder, parents may need to sign and help monitor transactions. Account alerts, transaction limits, savings goals and mobile banking applications are examples of current offerings.
Consider adding your young people as authorized users to existing credit card accounts with serious discussion of responsibilities for their use. This may help your young people build a healthy credit score before they need it.
In spite of the above discussion, parents still set the example for managing money. Parents interaction with money handling everyday needs and usage can leave a lasting impression on how your children handle money.
Be a good example.

Resources for Parents of Teens
Whether you are as confused as your teenager about how to handle and help your young person, here are some of the resources that I have found helpful as I write my weekly newspaper column:
Amy McCready gives great suggestions about what you might try: amym@positiveparentingsolutions.com.
Sue and Steph help through Your Teen Magazine: editor@yourteenmag.com
Alyson Schafer@hello.alysonschafer.com
Empowering Parents: service@empoweringparents.com
I believe this is one of the most challenging times for raising children, and all of us can use help and advice to try to keep things calm and peaceful for all concerned. If you have come across more websites to share, please email me at bettemroz@gmail.com.

RESPECT...FOR YOUR CHILDREN
  We all require and want respect...It's our basic human right. Aretha Franklin
It is up to you to you to remind your children to be respectful of you, their teachers and each other. As parents become more educated, they may think they know more than the teacher, but expressing these feelings aloud prompts your children to be disrespectful of their teachers.
  When parents conduct themselves in ways that lack respect, fairness and justice, they increase the likelihood that the same dysfunctional behaviors will be displayed by their children. Cathie Wu
Respect is taught by telling your young people what is unacceptable behavior and why it is unacceptable, and the consequences such behavior may bring. Hopefully when your children are old enough to have compassion for others, they will not repeat hurtful disrespect.
Children as they grow older also need to be respected by adults in their lives as well as peers. Many young people are hurt by lack of respect from others. Treating others with respect means taking the time to get to know other people and giving them a chance. Your children can learn from those with whom they go to school and can help
them by being kind and respectful toward them, thereby earning respect for themselves.
  Your young people need respect as human beings.Through being empowered by caring parents and mindful education, they learn the equal dignity to which their parents, their teachers, and other authority figures, even their peers are entitled.
    I firmly believe that respect is a lot more important , and is a lot greater than, popularity. Julius Erving

LAUGH TO LEARN
  All you need in the world is love and laughter. That's all anybody needs. To have love in one hand and laughter in the other.   August Wilson
Laughter occurs when people are comfortable with one another, when they feel open and free. And the more laughter there is, the more bonding happens within a family.   Maybe we do not have enough laughter in our lives these days. There is so much stress, unhappiness, and fear in the world and in our families. No wonder we run away with tech.
But I want you to try something new with your children this week. How many times can you make them laugh? How many times can you enjoy a good laugh together? Parents who are dedicated to the best interests, social development, and academic success of their children can accomplish great things by using a variety of creatively humorous approaches to family occurrences, meals and study. Try including rhymes, chants, riddles, jokes, anecdotes, and games to make valuable connections and enhance learning. You as parents, grandparents, and caregivers can boost creativity and critical thinking skills, promote values, teach good moral behavior and responsibility, instill trust and confidence and provide children with a means of coping with sadness and disappointment by your use of humor and laughter.
Laughter is a link to creativity and divergent thinking. It may lead to new ideas or understandings. Laughter is important to physical well-being and stress relief for all ages. Laughter runs through many regions of the brain as a source of energy to help us grow stronger in our relationships and gives a great opportunity for success. It is a highly effective way to stimulate conversation for both the speaker and the listener.
When used when you are helping your children with homework, it enables learning and relieves boredom and monotony. It helps children stay "tuned in" to what they are trying to learn. After a long day at work, it may even help you as parents to diffuse frustrations as you come up with rhymes and riddles to help children remember important facts and information. Your "silliness" may help them retain information they need to use the next day.
When you have a meal together, it provides a time for bonding and building trust. Be careful that you don't laugh at the wrong thing or in a derogatory manner. Don't let your children make fun of each other so as to embarrass, ridicule or degrade each other. This may be counterproductive in social and academic growth.
            From your parents, you learn love and laughter and how to put one foot before the other. But when books are opened, you discover you have wings. Helen Hayes
            Give your children love, laughter, AND wings.

OPPORTUNITIES TO LEARN
Your young people may be tiring of school and even wondering what education is for. One of the best ways for them to learn more or to continue to learn is through volunteering in a situation that fits their interests, ambition or passion. If they are finishing all their requirements for graduation and even AP classes, they may have time on their hands. If they are too young for a part-time job or not looking for work they can do to earn money, perhaps they can be looking into where they can help or be of service to those in need. Serving in a homeless shelter, providing willing hands to help prepare food or helping out at the local animal shelter are possibilities. If they are sincere and do a good job, your young people may request a recommendation for future work or education. High school counselors may even be aware of requests from community members for help or service.
Older students may look into internships in a profession where they think they are interested. Even if these are unpaid, they may help determine if further training or education is required. Better to find out before investing in a skills program or college and finding out that it is not for them. Internships are where your young people acquire pre-working world experience. Their participation in discussions and using questions to find out more are related to their future success. Asking questions is a great way to show their interest in learning, to clarify their place in that environment, and to "stand out." Your young people need to find out what they are doing is important in a real-world setting, and why. If they request time from their bosses, make sure their request is for a specific reason. Working hard, making decisions, and attempting to make a difference shows your children they can contribute in a positive and important way in their future choices.
Having the mindset of teamwork and passion for wanting to improve your path to becoming an effective employee shows you're ready to work ... Brent McCready

QUESTIONING TO LEARN
Questioning is a major form of human thought and interpersonal communication. Humans ask questions to get acquainted, to learn something new, to explore phenomena, to share experiences.
  He that nothing questions, nothing learns. (Old Proverb)
You invite your young people to give opinions, to think, to imagine, to create through questioning. Use open-ended questions--questions that make your children think or speculate, give his or her opinion, such as "How do you think that happens? or "Why do you think that happened?" Each of these questions begins with "why" or "how." These are the best to continue conversation. Even if you open discussion with one-word answers, follow up with more thought provoking questions. When you ask a question, wait comfortably for an answer giving time to think. Listen fully to what others are saying, then asking the question in a different way or paraphrase what you think you heard:
By allowing your children to ask questions and your seeking to answer them, you foster their trust and further their learning as well as your own. Questioning can do as much for adults as for children -- helping to explore, discover and innovate. Children may question what you and others take for granted. Take time to help them navigate their way through uncertainty and find their way to breakthrough ideas. Encourage them to challenge things they do not understand and give them courage to contest the experimental ideas of their peers.
Thoughtful, productive questioning is a process that takes time, considerable thought, and often hands-on experimentation.. and can lead to powerful insights and fresh possibilities.
  Warren Berger in the Wall Street Journal (blogs.wsj.com)
You and your children can learn together through asking great questions and finding greater answers, helping them to ask more important questions as they need to make decisions that are invaluable to their future.
                                    I keep six honest serving men
                                    (They taught me all I knew);
                                    Their names are What and Why and When
                                    And How and Where and Who.   Rudyard Kipling
Check the website--changing minds.org/techniques--for a wealth of ideas.

HELP YOUR TEENS THINK LIKE ADULTS
Teens can have one foot in kid-world and the other in adult-world for years. Kari ODriscoll (https://yourteenmag.com)
Kari suggests a rule, a strategy that might work with your teens. "I will not do anything for them that makes me
angry." If I do something for them that makes me resentful,such as folding their laundry as they chat with their friends, my burden as parent becomes heavier and my own mental health suffers. It is not about punishing them for not planning ahead; they need to accept the responsibility for their own actions. If I have to give up something that's important to me or perform a task I loathe to make their lives easier, it's likely to prompt resentment to build inside me making me an unpleasant person to live with.
Now, I ask myself if they would do the same for me. What if I were running late and needed someone to throw my clothes in the dryer? Would they bring me my lunch if I forgot it?
Our children can live by the same rule. If they are uncomfortable doing things for someone else, like a boyfriend, best friend, a sibling or even me, they can exercise the right to say "no"politely. They can simply ask themselves whether indulging someone else's request is likely to make them angry or resentful before agreeing to do it or not.
Helping children understand mutual respect for others will go a long way helping them to know how to act
as adults.

MATURING OF YOUR CHILDREN
Check your parenting ability to see if your children have the following skills:
1: Impulse control helps your child think before acting.
2: Emotional control helps your child keep his feelings in check
3. Flexible thinking allows your child to adjust to the unexpected.
4: Working memory helps your child keep key information in mind.
5: Self-monitoring allows your child to evaluate how he's doing.
6: Planning and prioritizing help your child decide on a goal and a plan to meet it.
7: Task initiation helps your child take action and get started.
8: Organization lets your child keep track of things physically and mentally.
Providing the support and discussion that your emerging adults need to make sure they are developing these skills will go a long way toward giving them wings. Environments that allow your children to practice and develop these skills at home are necessary before they have to use them alone in society. It is parents' responsibility to help your young people learn to utilize these skills.

GIVING AND GETTING FREEDOM
The Fourth of July makes me think about how much freedom we enjoy. Do we give it to our children? Do we give them the freedom to be themselves? Do we give them the freedom to make their own decisions and mistakes? Do we give them freedom to create their own activities and actually DO things?
Too often, parents fail to guide their children in managing a situation and instead, move in too quickly to solve the children's problems. Parents need to help their children develop the ability to handle challenging situations on their own. This freedom leads your children to better mental and physical health, healthier social relationships and academic success.
Too often, parents do not teach children how to regulate their emotions and behavior effectively resulting in their children acting out in the classroom, struggling in school and having a harder time making and keeping friends. Managing emotions and behavior are fundamental skills helping children have freedom to interact with others, but not to endanger the freedom of others. Parents can help children cope by teaching them strategies such as deep breathing, listening to music or retreating to a quiet place.
Parents can also set good examples for their children by using positive coping strategies to manage their own emotions and behavior when upset. Nichole B. Perry, Ph.D.
Too often, parents use their freedom to protect their children from real and imagined danger. Commercial interests make loads of money by exploiting parental anxiety. Children need the freedom to explore and discover their ways. Children need to be encouraged to take risks and make mistakes, but parents need to be available to guide and support them. Parents can guide their children's choices as to friends, actions, foods, but not the freedom to make those choices.
Freedom is the ability to act or change without undue or unjust restraints as long as it is not unjust, unnecessary or unreasonable limiting another's freedom. We must teach our children to use their freedom for their own good and the good of others. Sharing and following rules are necessary to secure freedom.
Freedom is the open window through which pours the sunlight of the human spirit and human dignity. Herbert Hoove

USING WRITING TO LEARN
  You may think writing is unimportant due to advancing technology, but the technology cannot think for us. Writing enables us to think more clearly. It helps us to find ways to express our feelings, our emotions, our affections, our strengths and weaknesses. E-mail doesn’t keep; writing on paper does. Famous people—women and men—have written pages of their thoughts that lie dormant for many years. Once discovered, these writings are valuable sharing of their lives and the time in which they lived.
     Writing also strengthens reading. They are double-dipped to help us accumulate knowledge. If you can read it, you can write it. If you write it, you can read it. It just takes stimulation that comes from an exciting teacher and an interested parent.
     Writing down information helps to remember, no matter what age, especially if talking to ourselves as we write. Engaging the senses is a positive way to help memory, and memory helps students pass tests.
     There are sections of standardized tests that require students to write their thoughts about timely topics and even show their outline skills as they need to organize their thoughts before writing the required text. Although computers are increasingly used for state testing, putting thoughts on paper is still an important way to communicate one's preparation and organization in writing about a topic.
     Scholarships are awarded in part due to the quality of writing on applications for scholarships. The more clearly your children can express their desire for further education and their need for financial aid, the more confident they can feel about obtaining this kind of help.
     Students often laugh when I tell them to keep their dictionaries or Ipod handy when writing, but even if they cannot spell the entire word, their attempts at “sounding out” the word will help them find it correctly spelled in the dictionary pages. Correct spelling is crucial for effective communication and precise understanding. Students must care enough to spell correctly and use proper grammar.
     There are contests that encourage good writing. Civic and veteran’s organizations (VFW,   Eagles, Rotary) often hold contests in which they invite young people to tell what good citizenship means to them. Contact their nearest units to find out what they are seeking for their contests, and the timeline for them.
THE PEN IS THE TONGUE OF THE HAND

Money Management
As children go older, they can be given a larger allowance and taught how to use it. They should save some, share some, spend some, even put some aside to invest. If they are taught to save some of their money, they will have money to spend for something they want. They will need to decide if they want to spend what they have saved for a video game they have been wanting or a trip to visit their friend who has just moved to another state. They should learn to share their money also --giving some to their church or a charity of their choice. Perhaps they see a little child suffering from cancer at St. Jude's Research Hospital and want to send money there. Maybe they see animals on the ads for ASPCA and want to save the dogs and cats that look so sad. They might even want to buy a new collar for their pet. If children spend their own money, they will be more picky about how it is used. Helping them learn to invest in coins or funds that will increase in value with the years can also be done.
It is important also to educate children about how much money it takes to keep a household running. If parents do not help their children be aware of family debt and obligations, children may expect unrealistic and unaffordable money and gifts. Spending money as well as spending time takes family communication.

Time management for your young people
     If your teens or pre-teens have not learned yet how to use their time effectively, now is the time to work together to learn to control time. Your children will not have more time as they grow older; so help them to use it wisely now.
    We all have plenty of time to do everything we want to do. Effective use of the time we have is a skill that we acquire. – like driving a car. We must practice constantly how to do it better.
     Life is a never-ending stream of possible activities and demands. Many times, the demands from friends, family, school and sports are more than kids really want to do. They must make their own choices from all possibilities.
     Control of their time takes planning. Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now. Planning and making choices are hard work, especially for your young people. They would much rather hang out with their friends than do any serious thinking, but their future living takes planning.
     If you have provided them time and money for a good education, it may be time now for them to consider what to do with these opportunities. Are you also seeing them develop some interests that may lead to a future career or work? Have you seen them set some priorities on their time?
     Help them set goals they can see from their lives right now. Think about how they can accomplish these goals realistically? What steps can they take now—just one baby step at a time to be able to accomplish their goals? How can they schedule their time so that they work toward their future and still enjoy the way there?
     How can they best use their time? Have conversations with your children to find out the best use of their time and skill to become what they think they want to be. Let them make the decisions. It is hard to see your children making mistakes about using their time, but they can learn from their misuse of time and their mistakes also.
    Give them your gift of time to listen.

TECH PARENTS NEED TO KNOW
"We switch between teach devices 21 times an hour." OMD UK Media Agency
"Students focus on school work for about three minutes before giving in to digital distractions," says Dr. Larry Rosen, a professor of psychology at California State University-Dominguez Hills.
What is a parent to do in this digital age? Which parents have the time to supervise every device the children in their family use? What parent knows what terms are used in employing digital devices to explore, learn and report the next day to teachers and peers in their classrooms? What parent knows whether their children are being cyberbullied or sexting when they seem to be studying on their devices? Or are they studying?
According to Monica Villa, founder and chief technology mom of the Online Mom, a website focused on helping parents embrace technology, there are things parents can do:
Show and Tell. Start a conversation with your children and have them show you how they are using their device.
Google It. Your children can send parents a personalized care package from Google's Teach Parents Tech site.
Keep Tech Public. Some schools are creating tech webinars for parents that parents can view anytime on their computer or own device. Holding information sessions through PTA/PTO meetings is another option. Maybe Common Sense Media.org can help parents to rate and evaluate digital data. Parents can even find their children on Facebook, follow them on Twitter, and find out who their friends are in social media.
Get Excited. Computers, tablets and smart phones open new areas of learning for students and parents. They also open the lines of communication between parents and teachers. In some school districts, parents can find out the assignments their children have, their due dates and how and if they are doing their schoolwork and homework. Progress reports and report cards are also available to parents on school websites. In case parents are worrying that information about their children is public, parents are given a password that only works for them to see their children's work or teachers' messages concerning their children.
Technology will help children in their future careers as it has improved the "overall quality of education," according to Adrienne Hill on the website www.marketplace.org, but parents must supervise their children's use of tech. 40% of students rely on tech and 57% of students improve their critical thinking because they must sort through the ocean of information available to them.
When parents have accessible information, they are able to proactively educate themselves and their children to solve problems before they arise. By participating with their children in acquiring digital knowledge, parents can teach their children common sense and responsibility in the use of their devices.
Www.GrowingWireless.com helps parents learn about managing wireless services and products so they can help their children use the products wisely.
Any of the websites mentioned in this article will be helpful to parents in guiding their children through today's digital jungle.

Teaching Children How to Think
Some might think it is not possible to teach children how to be thinkers. A common belief is that one is either born with intellect or not. Wrong! Creative and critical thinking are skills, something that can be learned. There are, however, developmental issues. How well youngsters think depends on whether parents and teachers have expected them to think for themselves. Adults tend to tell youngsters what to think. But even in the interests of telling youngsters how to behave in proper ways, the instruction is more likely to be accepted if children are encouraged to think through why certain behaviors are preferred over others.
Teachers know that many students have poor thinking skills. Several reasons help explain why. Changes in culture are a factor, such as mind-numbing television, video games, social networking Websites, cell-phone texting, and so on.
Paradoxically, we have no problem telling children what to think, but when their thinking becomes flawed, we are reluctant to intervene. Many parents (and even teachers) think it is bad to challenge children’s thinking when it is flawed. They think that such challenges can be embarrassing and damages self esteem. The reality is that such students eventually discover they are not as capable as their peers who have effective thinking skills, and that gives them real reason to have low self-esteem.
Schools and state mandates also contribute to the problem. Too often, students are trained to look for the one “right answer.” Then there are state knowledge and skills standards, where students are actively discouraged from thinking “outside the box.”
Many students lack the confidence to think for themselves and are actually afraid to try. The reality is that students are natural-born creative thinkers, but the conformity of schools has drilled students into a submission that precludes analytical thinking. In our culture, the only place where it seems that insightful ideas are excluded is in the school.
How does one teach critical thinking? Three ways:

Expect it. Require students to defend their ideas and answers to questions. Show them it is not enough to have the “right” answer. Students need to understand how they arrived at the answer and why it is “right.”
Model it. The teacher can show students how to think critically and creatively about instructional material. Even it “teaching to the test,” show students how to think about alternative answers, not just memorize the right answer. Show why some answers are right and some wrong.
Reward it. When good thinking occurs, teachers should call attention to it and to the students that generated it. Learning activities and assignments should have clear expectations for students to generate critical and creative thought. A grading premium and other incentives should be provided.. Rigorous analysis will only occur if it is expected and rewarded.

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Web sites and blogs that show how to teach thinking skills include:
http://www.oben.powertolearn.com/mathematics/thnkques.htp
http://www.suite101.com/content/teach-your-child-to-think-a14551
http://mabryonline.org/blogs/tyson/archive/2005/08/teaching_children_to_think.html
http://www.ehow.com/how_4995608_teach-creative-thinking-children.html
http://ezinearticles.com/?Teaching-Kids-to-Think-and-Preventing-Cheating-in- School%2C-Work-and-On-the-Internet&id=467244
http://www.justenoughblog.com/?p=80
http://eric.ed.gov/PDFS/ED135889.pd

Concept Maps
Concept maps are diagrams of key ideas, with lines drawn between those ideas that are related. Drawing concept maps is a constructivist activity that promotes understanding and learning in several ways:

Students engage with the material, being expected to identify key ideas and their relationships. In short, they have to THINK.
Students have to DO something with the information (draw the diagram).
The final diagram helps students get the “big picture.”
Maps facilitate memorization and later study.

A web site that explains and illustrates concept mapping is found at http://ecrp.uiuc.edu/v8n2/birbili.html

Teachers sometimes take for granted that students know how to construct such maps. Specific instruction is often necessary. This Web site not only explains what concept maps are, but shows how to teach this important skill to children.

Two things are NOT included at this site that should be:

1. Teaching children first how to outline may expedite learning how to map concepts. As you may know, some concept map computer programs can construct the first stages of a concept map from an outline that is created first. A simple video clip for teaching children how to outline is found at: http://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?p=teaching+children+how+to+outline

2. Although maps are traditionally advocated to help acquire understanding, they are also helpful for study and memorization. Maps, concept or otherwise, are spatial displays. The part of the brain that converts temporary memories to lasting memories is the same part of the brain that creates an internal spatial mapping of what is seen in the outside world. Thus, having information arranged as a map makes it easier for the brain to form a memory of it. During memory recall of information that was originally mapped, remembering specific areas of the map can actually help recall what object/information was there originally.

This brings us to another point. The best way to study mapped information is to self test, in which the map is re-drawn from memory, checked for errors, and then re-drawn again from memory. A formal experiment comparing concept maps with self-testing showed that self-testing was far superior in generating accurate recall. Though not tested, it should be obvious that self-testing on concept maps should be even more effective than either process alone.

(The above articles are not SSS originals, but worth sharing.)

ARE YOUR CHILDREN SLEEPING?
It is so easy to let your children's sleep times slip during summer vacation, especially when they are having more sleepovers (See Kid Scoop in this issue.), more screen time and even time to read with a flashlight or attempt to use their devices as they hide their activity under their sheet tent.
You are the parent-detective who must be concerned about the amount of sleep your children get. You are the one who will receive their grouchiness, poor behavior and lax eating habits the next day due to their lack of sleep.
How do you know how much sleep your children need? There are several websites that will advise you about this, but the general idea is that pre-schoolers need 10-13 hours of sleep while school-age children (6-13) need 9-11 hours. Teens need more sleep than adults (8-10 hours) due to their changing bodies and brains.
Since teens need more sleep than adults (8 1/2 hours to 9 1/4 hours), they need to cut down on evening activities within a reasonable time. Children need to understand the importance of sleep to promote growth, to help their hearts function properly, to help beat germs, to reduce injury risk, to increase their attention span, to boost learning and even control their weight. (www.parents.com The 7 Reasons Your Kid Needs Sleep). Children getting enough sleep have healthier immune systems, better school performance and behavior, sharper memory and mental health.
What is learned during the day is consolidated during sleep. Dr. Carskadon, Brown University
Too often sleep takes a back burner over the cellphone, e-mail, instant or text messages, even Skype. The website -- https://kidshealth.org -- suggests switching off electronics one hour before bedtime and making sure that TVs, computers and mobile devices are off to insure their sleeping. All ages need time to wind down and have downtime before they go to sleep. To help you teach your children the importance of sleep, use the website www.sleepforkids.org.
One website suggests you and/or your children keep a three-column sleep diary for one or two weeks: one column for lights-out time, a second column for how long it takes children or self (for older children) to fall asleep, and a third column for wake-up time. I suggest a fourth column for how your children feel when they wake up. Are your children groggy, crabby, irritable?
Now I see the secret of making the best person...grow in the open air... eat and sleep with the earth. Walt Whitman

Use Music to Get Ready For School
"What does music have to do with getting ready for school?" you may ask. Add music to your children's schedule because it provides a calm atmosphere that helps to reduce stress, provide comfort and improve health and well-being.
Listening to soft, calm music like the classical compositions of Bach for self-discipline and listening skills or Mozart to encourage good brain activity can help prepare your young people for their time in school. (Dr. Eric Jensen)
Listening to music cultivates academic and physical skills as it improves memory, intuition, and perception. Attention to the sounds of music help young people recognize pitch, melody, rhythm and tempo. Music helps to express strong emotions such as joy, sadness and fear.
One man who took up playing a musical instrument as he continued his academic education found it easier for him to concentrate on difficult subjects and helped him to be a better problem solver. It might not be too late for you to encourage your young people to take music lessons or play an instrument.
Playing music also has its benefits. Children learn better concentration, attention to direction, listen more attentively, and work together with their peers to make beautiful sounds if they play in a band or orchestra. Those who want to sing can benefit from participating in chorus learning to read music notes and memorizing their part in harmony. This grows their self-esteem, discipline and patience.
Another benefit to turning off the TV and devices is listening to enjoyable and relaxing music, helping your children be ready for the discipline, self-control and attention that school requires. Your young people's mood and health is enhanced by their listening to music and it might even help you as parent to be more patient and calm.

LEARN WITH YOUR CHILDREN
Learning is the process of acquiring new knowledge and skills. It is not limited to age. Regardless of where your formal education stopped, you can still learn--with your young people.
Whether it is a math concept or use of language, you can have your children explain the process to you. You must have an understanding that you, too, are still learning and that you and your children can learn together. You might have your children explain the math process their teacher is using, or what reading, writing or spelling strategies he/she is teaching. You can have the teacher make a video to explain concepts to you and your children. Many times, teachers are sending home videos that explain concepts in math or science that you and your children can view together. Then, ask each other questions or do the homework or worksheet together. Once, you explain what you are doing to the teacher, she may be eager to help and will admire your effort. It is surely better than making an excuse for your child. "Multiplication was hard for me, too." But it might not be so now with different ways to teach.
You might ask for your PTO/PTA meeting to be a learning opportunity for you, your teens and other parents. A community of people who come together can learn from each other. Why not join them for another shot of learning difficult math or science concepts?
Coding is a skill that you and your children can learn together and perfect over time. Everyone has to start somewhere. There are a variety of languages that are perfect for beginners regardless of the field you are interested in. (https://wikihow.com/Code) Wiki How, You Tube, Stack Exchange are some examples
Are your teens studying nature, the planets, the movement of the earth, the environment, in order to write a report or make decisions about how they will protect the environment in the future? Reading provides ideas for you to think about and discuss, and for your children to write about. The world is fascinating, and discovering it with your children makes it even more important to your children's learning.
Listen as the coach of your young people's team talks to his players so you can use the same language or terms to encourage your children and improve their playing of sports. Even if you were an English major and have never had an interest in sports, you can learn with your children in order to share with them and help them to do better.
You can even attend classes after school hours or on Saturdays to learn more about something you and your children might be interested in--taking effective pictures with your iPhone or camera, or learning to cook different cultural dishes.
Learning is lifelong; enjoy it with all your children.

Internships and Apprenticeships

Internships or apprenticeships provide the opportunity to learn, develop skills and gain qualifications in a work environment. Because the world has become smaller due to digital technology, young people good in such technology might find opportunities on the internet. Again, parents must be vigilant as to websites to which their children apply. Young people might explore cloud computing resources and skills to help them succeed when they finish high school. Our society is approaching a time when teenagers who are fast-thinking and ambitious might be able to start their own businesses slowly without the help of their parents because they are empowered with the technology, resources and training to do it on their own. Today's teenagers will be relied on to solve tomorrow's security threats, and businesses are looking for the talent to draw from regardless of the computer geek's age.
when the time comes for their young people to apply for a paying job. Helping in an animal shelter, as a volunteer in a mom-and-pop business, in a hospital or summer school might lead to careers in medicine or education. Seeing how radio or television production is done might be worth volunteering in that atmosphere.
www.internships.com provides information about many different kinds of internships, even in the state of Arizona. Although most of these are closed at this time, just looking over this website might give you and your children an idea of what kinds of opportunities are available so they can begin researching and applying early next school year.
Internships-- invitations to know and grow.

PERSISTENCE AIDS LEARNING

Challenge your children to be ingenious in their persistence. Being persistent means to be firm in a course of action in spite of difficulty, opposition, or competition. If your teens will be determined and persistent in pursuing a plan of action, they can be a good student, and even obtain scholarships. It is a natural human tendency to do what is fun and easy over what takes time and brainpower, but this often leads to long term failure later in life. Persistence makes it much more likely to achieve hopes and dreams.

So many times, writing an essay or reason why they want that job or scholarship becomes a challenge. They may need to write and rewrite their words (using correct spelling) with the correction or advice of their counselor, teacher or you.   Asking for help and accepting criticism from those who have experience with success in such endeavors may be just the effort and humility that is needed.

Right now, older children must be planning the way they hope to obtain their goals. Too often humans give up just before an opportunity is given to them. What if they have already presented a package for a scholarship and have heard nothing? A phone call or an email might be a reminder to the committee that your child is still interested in going to that school. They may need to ask their counselor what more they can do. He/she must be persistent in going after the financial help they need to go to college or a trade school to pursue their ambitions.

Young people may need to volunteer for a non-profit organization. If they are hard-working and reliable, they should persist in getting a recommendation. They may get a paying job during school breaks as a result of their persistence. Then, they must be persistent in maintaining that job by showing up on time, being conscientious and organized.

A little more persistence, a little more effort, and what seemed hopeless failure may turn to glorious success.  Elbert Hubbard

What if your children are not old enough to be pursuing a job or going to college? They can still be learning persistence that will allow them to accomplish their dreams. Maybe they can work with your neighbor who is a photographer, painter, or writer. Maybe they can learn a second language from their Hispanic or Vietnamese classmate. They can be practicing making baskets or catching a football if they want to be on a sports team in high school or college.

There are many opportunities to become better at what they are interested in or good at, but they must not be shy. It never hurts to ask, and to be persistent in asking. Getting up after being knocked down has created Facebook, Google, Yahoo, Microsoft, Apple -- all the media your children enjoy because their founders were persistent and determined.

Ambition is the path to success; persistence is the vehicle you arrive in.  William Eardley IV

TEACHING TRUTH

Have you had a conversation with your young people lately? Are you listening, really listening to your children when they want and need your attention? Then you may be well on your way to having honest children.

Encouraging your young people to share things with you that happens in their daily lives helps them to know YOU can be trusted. You are the model. You must be honest and not lie--even to your children. If they see you value honesty, they will be more likely to tell the truth. No matter how much you talk about honesty, if your children see you being dishonest, it undermines the message.

Children lie to test limits as part of growing up. They like to check what they can get away with. They may lie to impress their friends, even their teachers. They may not tell you the truth about having homework. (Trust, but verify.)You can give them homework or check with their friends. Hopefully, they have made honest friends. Friends who lie give them a bad example and call for a conversation about choosing friends. Children lie to get out of trouble. Sometimes, they lie to protect their siblings or friends. When they are given something they don't like, tell them to find something positive to say instead of lying about liking it. "I like that color, Grandma." If we praise children for being honest, it will build their self-concepts and reinforce positive behavior. (www.imom.com) There must be consequences for their actions, but not enforced with anger. Respectful, fair punishment reinforces the need for honesty and lying as unacceptable.

Some ideas for teaching honesty are

1) Talk about how lying causes loss of trust and can harm relationships. A basic part of teaching honesty to children is to tell them you expect the truth. Teach them how important it is to be able to trust and count on each other.
2) Use the opportunity to show children the primary goal is to teach, not punish, that honesty is valued in your family daily.
3) Recognize and talk about dishonesty with the hope of raising children to be adults who are honest avoiding malicious deception as true con artists.
Teach children about the value and importance of honesty early, teaching them how to resolve situations so they don't need to rely on lying to save face .
There are few things we are more emotionally involved in than our children. We don't want to see their dishonesty because it goes against our view of what we want our kids to be. To be trusted and honorable is an enviable trait.

Children who have an established relationship with their parents, where they feel comfortable talking and disclosing information, are more likely to tell the truth. But also realize that your children are not always going to tell you the truth. Taking a moment to think about why they are lying should help you respond to their lies appropriately. Dr. Veronica Telwar, Department of Educational and Counseling Psychology, McGill University, Montreal, Canada.

LISTENING TO YOUR YOUNG PEOPLE

Are you having a hard time getting your young people to listen to you? Are they hiding behind their earphones and smartphones as you try to get their attention?

Listening to you has been a challenge all through their lives, but it is especially difficult as they try to break away from you to be with their peers.

Some suggestions might be:
1) Keep calm and consistent, and non-judgmental. Listen to them if you want them to listen to you. Lead by example. Remove distractions for you and for them. REALLY listen to them when they tell you about their day, their friends, their thoughts, feelings, and ideas.

2) Share YOU with them--similar experiences you have had, how you handled them, just sharing, not telling them what to do. Let them know you have made mistakes, that you are human. Own up to your mistakes, understand them, and model moving on. What is past is past. They need to make decisions on their own, guided by you, not your thinking or making their decisions for them.

3) Remember you are the parent, not their friend. They will respect you more if you are the adult--their guide, their coach. They need to know you are there for them.

4) Enjoy fun activities with them and laugh often with them, not AT them.

5) Encourage in a positive way, not reminding them of their bad behavior or mistakes. This is one of the main regrets I have as a parent; I know you can do better.

6) Expect your young people to be responsible for their chores as members of your family and for their behavior and schoolwork. Let them fall, but be there to pick them up. Help them get back on their feet by discussing what they will do next time or how they can make up for what they did or said that they should not have.

7) Model social behavior and conversation skills--so lacking in this tech generation, but skills they need in their future for working with others, interviews, and sharing their ideas.

8) Still tell them you love them often, that you respect them and are proud of their achievements.

There are websites that will help you if you need help. Two might be
www.denvercounselingoptions.com/teenage-whisperer-getting-tttn-listen-respectful and www.educationandbehavior.com/how-to-get-your-kids=to=listen-to-you-and-show-you-respect/.

Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. Robert Fulghum

INGENUITY AIDS LEARNING

Ingenuity is the ability to solve difficult problems in original, clever and inventive ways. Ingenuity is the process of applying ideas to solve problems and meet challenges.

I like challenges that test your ingenuity. Colin Baker

Ingenuity, to me, is a gift that is not limited to IQ, ability, race, economic status, or your place in the world. It requires brainwork, and anyone who is inclined to figure things out, to see what else can be done to repair something, or to solve a problem in a simple way has that gift.

Ingenuity leads to innovation. As I researched the topic for this column, I came across the word "ingenuity" applied to many "innovative companies" from baby ware to web design. Ingenuity describes resourceful people who lead contributions to knowledge, policy, economy and global human development. By researching this topic and sharing it with you as parents, grandparents, caregivers and teachers, I hope I can help you understand why the direction Common Core is trying to take with older students is one of ingenuity. For example, Steve Jobs used ingenuity to design and market his iPhone and iPad for Apple. Tech innovation has long been the key to America's prosperity.

Parents cannot tolerate a watered-down curriculum. They must challenge their children and schools to think of new and better ways to live daily lives. They cannot allow their children to continually play video games that take little more than visual and manual dexterity.

With great admiration, I have watched my husband and sons use their ingenuity to repair and replace car parts and make temporary household repairs with wire and duct tape. They have not needed computers or advanced degrees for the brainwork they do. Some have not even gone to college, but they were able to figure out a necessary replacement to keep our car, trailer, or household together until a more permanent arrangement could be made.

There are many problems facing our present and future world that need thinking and figuring out. What should be done to save our planet and our human race? What can be done to slow global warming? Learn from the poor farmers in India what crops to plant when and how with limited water. Learn from the Dutch how to control waters that rush into lands and flood vital areas. Learn from each other how to get along and connect things that should not be separated.

The planet has become a design space. The human is becoming a design space.  Dr. Brad Allenby, professor of sustainable engineering at Arizona State University.

Empower the poor to realize their value. Empower the average student as well as the brightest student to know his worth. Encourage all students to think and innovate through digital technology and teachers and parents who cooperate to bring out the best in all children.

Parents must be willing to learn and educate themselves to use their own ingenuity, then encourage children to discover new knowledge and apply it to the future. Don't allow your children to be left behind. Ingenuity must flourish in children and adults.

APPETITE FOR LEARNING

Give your children an appetite for learning. Help them to gain knowledge. This is a good time for your young people to find out about the military--the Army, the Navy, the Marines, the Coast Guard, and their academies. They can also explore ROTC, procedures for getting into the military academies, scholarships and talk to veterans and those who have been in any of the above situations. Visit a veteran in retirement homes or in the neighborhood. Find out what courage it took to enter these services and why they did so.

There are others still with us who lived through the war years, especially World War II. They worked in factories that made munitions, clothing, and aircraft. They worked in offices that sent communications concerning the war. There were women and men who drove trucks and vehicles necessary for transporting troops and supplies. They were the people who packed K-rations so the troops would have food. They were scientists who worked on better aircraft and artillery. They were the citizens who used ration books, who sacrificed basic supplies so the military would have what they needed. Rationing was a way to limit scarce resources so that all would have enough. Gasoline was first, then food. At first, only butter, bacon and sugar were rationed. As the war wore on, meat, tea, jam, biscuits, breakfast cereal, eggs, lard, milk and canned and dried fruit. People bartered ration stamps and traded food.

Clothing was also rationed. Shoes, tires, and fuel oil were issued in limited supply so that those fighting the war would have enough.

Recycling was also introduced at this time. Metal, especially aluminum, paper and rubber were to be reused and recycled.

People planted "victory gardens" or drove out into the country (if they were fortunate enough to have a car and enough gasoline) to obtain fresh vegetables and fruit.
Americans were asked to conserve everything. Rationing was a sacrifice for all. Talk to your children about how they would have liked to have one egg a week or one set of clothes in a year.
Talk to people who have lived through years of the wars--World War II, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, Persian Gulf, Afghanistan, Iraq and the present time--who have lost loved ones and what they think about the commitment their veterans made. Talk and write about how a military family feels while their dad, brother, or cousin fights on foreign lands. Ask them to share letters and communications they receive from their loved ones about the places they serve that help us to appreciate the freedom of not only living but of having enough food and clothing.

With an appetite for learning, your children can research any of the above topics to virtually live in those times. This is a valued use of their electronic devices.

It is important for all of us to appreciate where we come from and how that history has really shaped us in ways that we might not understand. Sonia Sotomayer

OPPORTUNITIES

Opportunity is defined as a set of circumstances that makes it possible to do something...and everything. As parents, you can arrange opportunities for your children to learn, explore, grow curiosity and contribute to their store of knowledge. You can help them recognize opportunities that are right in front of them, helping a neighbor restore a car. They can learn from the neighbor's wife how to knit caps and lap robes for hospitals. Go with your children to political rallies, rodeos, Speech Festivals, debates, math and science museums and competitions. You can help them to know when "opportunity knocks." You can help them to know when circumstances offer them an opportunity to work or volunteer; you can help them to know not to waste or pass up an opportunity.

My granddaughters have been given the opportunity to go on Mission trips with the young people from their churches. They travel the United States, and even to foreign lands to learn about the people there and to help them to know us. Training in a sport or playing in the school band also offers them opportunities to travel and to play an instrument that will bring them peace and satisfaction later in life. Utility companies may offer trips to Washington, D.C. or to national and historic places of interest. Find out where you get applications for such opportunities and help your children write well why they would enjoy the opportunity.

Take trips to colleges in which your children show an interest. Investigate what opportunities they offer for young people. Opportunities to see plays, musicals, operas are offered to students who usher for such events. Meeting sports figures may also be available to those who volunteer or work in sports stadiums. Sometime in the future, one of those famous people will remember meeting the "volunteer" who showed their families to their seats.

When looking back over my life, I don't regret the things I did, just the things I never did. Embrace opportunity. See what doors open for you.

It is time to plant seeds to help your children recognize opportunities in their lives. Once again, you and they must put your smartphones away so that you can take advantage of opportunities, so many of them, free.

Life is the most exciting opportunity we have. Andrew Shue

TECH DOESN'T TEACH GRAMMAR

Grammar is the sentence structure and language rules for our English language, and it is not taught through texting or writing on the computer, tablet or iPad. Grammar must be learned in order to communicate effectively and correctly to other human beings. You are not using YOUR words correctly ifYOU'RE making this common mistake.

Correct grammar is a necessity in writing. People judge you on how you write and speak. Using correct grammar and punctuation prompts people to form perceptions of you and judge your level of education. First impressions are made by the way you use words, and in your writing, this is especially important. Job applications have been discarded, and college applications have been overlooked due to poor use of our English language.
If you find yourself WEAK (not week) in the correct usage of words, you may not be able to assist your children as they need to write reports and essays as part of their schooling. Learn grammar rules with your children and memorize the ones that will help you become a better writer and conversationalist. Using language correctly in your online communication influences people you meet through email and Facebook. It is almost more important than "dress for success" to "write for success." It is unacceptable and disrespectful to use "text" language when writing for school or professional assignments. Basic grammar is a necessary condition for academic success.

Grammar is the structure of the language and if words or form are used incorrectly, this confuses your readers and listeners. This is more important in communicating with people from other cultures. By the way, these "foreigners" know our language better than many of us native English speakers. This should not be. We should be proud of our language and must learn to use it in the best way. We must learn to communicate with correct grammar and spelling to show we care about our language. English has replaced Latin as the means of communication within our global community.

Grammar and spelling are communication skills that must be taught early in life to establish the foundation for future communication. Strong language skills are an asset that will promote a lifetime of effective communication. The Importance of Language...Center for Child Well Being).

People who cannot distinguish between good and bad language, or who regard the distinction unimportant, are unlikely to think carefully about anything. B. R. Myers

As a last resort, as you or your children write reports or class assignments on your computer, use grammarly.com/GrammarCheck for free or ask Grammar Girl for help.

Just as early learners need to know letters and their sounds, just as children need to memorize math facts so that they become their learning tools, so older students need to know the correct use of words and conventions in their own language.

Tech doesn't teach grammar!

TECH PERILS FOR PARENTS

Parents have many concerns about their children using digital devices. They worry about their students' data privacy (Remember, parents must have a password to access information about their children's performance in school.) Parents are concerned about how their children's personal information is used by anyone who can hack their computers or tablets.

"Do my children access inappropriate content, and how do I know?" (Talk with your children to help them know what is right for them. Check with them occasionally to see what websites they are going into.)

"Do advertisers have access to my children, putting ideas into their minds instead of real needs? Do digital devices give my children opportunities for cheating and fraud, stealing their own thinking as they google answers?"

"Do I have the means and opportunities to keep up with the information, digital devices and websites that my children access? Do I recognize the names for websites they access regularly? Do I go on the websites they mention to see what those websites are REALLY about?"

Parents worry about the physical damage that too much attention to digital devices does to their children. "Is there danger to their eyes because they do visual work all the time? How about my children's peripheral vision when they stare ahead all the time, never taking a moment to look sideways? Are my children's bones becoming soft due to lack of physical exercise? Are my children sitting too long because of the same lack? When my children do participate in sports, are their injuries due to poor exercise because they spend so much time on their smart phones? It looks like my daughter/son is slumping? Is that from bending over the computer or laptop?"
"My children do not know how to converse with our relatives. My children do not look at me when I am talking because their attention is on the device in front of them."

Www.edtechroundup.org has advice for parents and teachers that ed tech is not meant to simply keep children busy. Tech should aid, not distract, children so that it hampers their concentration and their creative and critical thinking Tech can never replace reading books, drawing pictures, playing games. Children must learn there are plenty of things they can do without tech-help. Simply to use tech or use many apps is not an achievement. And tech is not for tots! Young children learn best through creative play and interaction with peers and their environment. Parents need to know what to expect in each of their children's developmental ages.

Parents are responsible for their children until their children turn 18. Therefore, parents need to be in control of the use of digital devices, seeing that they are used appropriately. The 24/7 availability of tech need not be a problem if parents are in charge. Teachers, parents, grandparents, and concerned caregivers need to be aware of the wonderful opportunities digital provides, but they must also recognize the pitfalls and dangers of their addictive use.

GIVE THEM A SECOND CHANCE

If you teach your children to learn from their mistakes, you must give them another chance to do better.  Mark Chernoff in his blog says that he is on his "1000th second chance."  Do parents and grandparents give each other and their children that many "second chances?"
Taking chances and making mistakes help all to grow.  Children rarely get things right the first time.  Parents need to learn these ways suggested by Mr. Chernoff in addition to teaching them to their children.

1)  Let go of the past.  This is especially important for parents to learn in order to be an example and guide for their children.
2)  Identify the lesson.  What do you and/or your children learn from the mistake?  How can you turn the mistake into something learned and hopefully remembered?
3)  Lose the negative attitude.  Negative thinking creates negative results.  Help your children to think positively.  Turn "I never get anything right!" into "Next time, I will do better."
4)  Accept accountability for what happens.  Help your children know they can control outcomes by choosing not to give up.  Discuss the circumstances with your children and how best to handle the situation when it happens again.
5)  Focus on things that can be changed.  Invest energy in things that can be done to make the outcome different, but realize that some forces are out of individual's control.
6)  Figure out what your older children really want.  If they really want to make baskets in basketball, they must not quit until they have tried many times.
7)  Eliminate the non-essential.  Help your young people identify the things in school or life that really matter the most to them. Your children can't accomplish anything if they try to do everything.  Maybe they want to do better in physics; then, help them take the necessary steps to solve the problem by taking one step at a time.
8)   Be very specific.  Set goals that can be measured.  If your young people aim to do better in  coding, they may want to get help from their fellow classmates to whom it comes so easily.
9)  Concentrate on "doing" rather than doing nothing.  "Do you have two pencils for your writing assignment in school?"  In time, your children will do the right thing without even thinking about it. "Yes, Mom. You don't have to remind me."
10)  Create a daily routine. If you get school things ready the night before, you will be ready to go in the morning.
11)  Develop self-control.  If your children want a second chance, they must be willing to give it all they have.
12)  Forget about impressing other people.  Maybe that is why your children need second chances.  They lack the confidence to be their own person.

If you help your children concentrate on the important things in their lives, they will make steady progress toward acquiring lifelong habits.  They may not need many "second chances."
Having a second chance makes you want to work even harder.  Tia Mowry

MEANINGFUL READING
Reading furnishes our mind with materials of knowledge; it is thinking that makes what we read our own. John Locke
Reading is more than a skill; it is an avenue to acquire knowledge. It is more than reading words; it is fuel for thinking. Reading is more than an assignment; it is a way to grow.

Too often children say they hate reading, not realizing its value. Parents need to encourage their children to read to learn It takes time, not only to read, but to think about what they have read. Technology is entertaining to young people; their brain does not have to work as hard to post on social media. Social media may teach them new "buzz" or "rad" words, but these words are shallow, lack depth, and varied meaning. The increased use of technology can be harmful because it conditions the brain to seek and receive instant gratification.

Reading gives something which is more than the instant gratification social media provides. Reading gives us insight into how others live, think and solve problems. Stories help children to learn about themselves and the world around them. In a way, young people need to apply the same effort to reading as they do to friendships. If they want to take their reading to another level, it takes time. Studies are showing that reading levels are declining as children grow older. The average high-school senior reads books that are considered to be at the seventh-grade reading level.

Stories help children to understand and remember things better. They may even help children understand themselves. Good books can change minds, hearts, and souls in the same way that another person can, if children connect with the characters in the stories. Children need to read challenging books and stories in order to grow their thinking and values. Children continue to develop their emerging personalities as a result of what they read. As they grow older, they start thinking about who they are and who they want to be, the "permanent things" in their lives. They become more that a consumer of what's trendy as too many of our students are these days.

Just because children have an open book n their hand and are moving their eyes across a page does not mean they are reading effectively. In order to read better, children need to concentrate on what they are reading, not distracted by cell phone or TV. Put cell phones in another room. Avoid reading in bed, if the material they are reading is necessary to learn. If children sit on the edge of their chairs in an erect position and take notes or underline as they read, they are building strong neural pathways in their memory. They can even read while they are standing to avoid dozing off. If they can develop questions about their reading, tell you what they have read, and recite what they read last night on the way to school the next morning, they are developing their reading as meaningful in their present and future lives.

ATTITUDE
Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. Winston Churchill

     Talking to your children's teachers, you may have learned something new about your children and their teachers. Maybe you have shared something new about your children that teachers had not realized. Now, you can put those new ideas to work.

     Maybe it is your attitude that could be changed. Maybe, you now realize the importance of your children memorizing letter sounds, syllable rules, vocabulary, steps in math based on the math facts your children need to know. Maybe your attitude could be "I can make a difference. I can help my children by just giving each of them minutes of my time. I can learn with them since I have forgotten what 6 x 9 is. We can practice in the car while we wait for the bus. We can take a walk in the evening and spell their weekly words with each step we take."

     Maybe it is your children's' attitudes that need changing. Since attitudes are what a person expresses based on their self-perception, you may help your children see themselves as their teacher tells you he/she sees them--capable of better work and deeper thinking. Maybe you can change their attitude by sharing memories of past successes, laughter, exercise. Since the brain needs basic food like water and fresh air to grow thinking and problem solving, it is up to you to see they get it. It is up to you to change their attitude by taking time away from tech to absorb what they are learning and to think, to let their minds wander (www.skillagents.com). Give your children a positive mindset no matter what their age.

Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.  Zig Ziglar

     How do we change attitudes? We need to do three things: Identify the activity, reflect on it, and acknowledge the goal we are planning to meet. If parents need to spend more time with their children, they need to think of ways to do that. You could even take them individually to breakfast Saturday morning. If children need to change their attitude toward math, have them think of ways they can. Practice thinking of possible paths to solve a problem so that when they must figure a math problem in the future, they will be able to think of other ways.

     The website www.marcandangel.com gives pointers to help change attitudes. They suggest you still your mind, change your focus and use your body. Your body is the best tool for changing your attitude in an instant. Minds reflect body by responding to tension, stress, rate of breathing, speed of movement and mental focus. The body mirrors thoughts, feelings, mood and responds to your state of mind, words and questions. Stand tall and look smart! You will be.

For success, attitude is equally important as ability. Walter Scott.

     Believing you can change your attitude and that of your children may just change your lives--something to work on when you have a long weekend and really make the time to talk about change.

GET CREATIVE FOR CHRISTMAS
Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas. Peg Bracken

Creativity is a gift in itself at any time of year, but it is most appreciated when we find ways to do things that are different at Christmas time. Creativity motivates people and gives them great ideas as they think of other ways to do things. Being creative makes life more interesting for the creator and those who share their ideas.
Here are some ways to be creative this time of year:

Decorate doors in the house with wrapping paper or just plain paper on which children can draw, glue glitter or stickers, even pictures from magazines or newspapers. They can draw pictures of gifts they would like to have or give someone else. They can draw a scene from their most memorable Christmas in the past (giving you parents a clue to what might make them the happiest this year.)

Make a video of preparations for Christmas--decorating the Christmas tree (sharing the story behind each ornament), decorating your house inside and out, setting up your nativity (sharing the reason for the season.) Make copies to send to far-away grandparents or extended family and save one for yourselves to show and share next year.
Have children compose poems, stories, or draw pictures to give as gifts. Giving oneself in a creative way gives children self-confidence and pride in their own creativity, teaches them generosity and sharing, and becomes a keepsake for those to whom your children's gifts are sent.

Ask your children two questions this Christmas. First: What do you want to give others this Christmas? Second: what do you want for Christmas? The first fosters generosity of heart and an outward focus. The second can breed selfishness if not tempered by the first. Author Unknown

Plan a scavenger hunt for your children's most desired gifts building their suspense and prolonging their delight in discovering their dream. You can write the notes on different colored paper or index cards for each child. Instead of ripping wrapping paper and providing instant gratification, your family can enjoy opening gifts a while longer using this method. Since Christmas comes just once a year, taking time to enjoy every minute and all your hard work, shopping and wrapping, give your celebration more time for sharing and admiring.

Even a small box of cute thank you notes will remind your children that others have loved them enough to send gifts. Children can make their own thank you notes as well, giving them another opportunity to be creative.
There is a book--Creative Doodling and Beyond by Stephanie Corfee ($12.76 on Amazon) which may be a unique gift to encourage creativity. There is always Pinterest if you think you are not a creative person. Sometimes observing others' creative ideas sparks thoughts of how you, too, can create something different or unusual.

No matter whether you choose good video games, opportunities as gifts, or sharing creativity, enjoy a beautiful time and season as a family.

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